Monday, July 9, 2007

Status Update

It's not all a bed of roses, but I notice I wake up without a clock between 8 and 9, and I'm eager and ready to get up and go about my day. This is a really new feeling, because for the last few years waking involved throwing the alarm clock across the room and curling up in a fetal position, followed by an hour or so of coaxing to get out of bed and into the shower.

I wonder how many other people-who look "normal" and have "real jobs" suffer the same fate? It's something that no one talks about, but I am sure that I am not the only one. However, while it was happening, I convinced myself that I was that I was weak, stupid, yadda yadda yadda. The litany of self abuse is too long to go into here.

Frankly, it feels a little weird not to be on vacation and STILL want to get up. I'm glad I had this de-programming time. Retirement isn't in the cards, but I want to find a job that I actually enjoy. I am really focusing on this feeling of not being overstressed, terrorized and all that good stuff so that I can associate that with NORMAL vs. the fetal position method of beginning the day.

1 comment:

Michele said...

Monday - Friday, I wake up dreading the day. On Sat and Sun, I wake up dreading the day then I realized it's the weekend and I'm so happy.