Thursday, December 31, 2009

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

HAW-Not THE announcement, but AN announcement

Not even parrot related.  BOOO BOOO BOOO.


This is my new kitty kitty, Luna.  She's grey like me and she talks a lot and loudly, like me.
That is not THE annoucement, NO NO NO-but the woman is struggling with  multiple projects and guess who gets put on the back burner.  Oh yes yes yes.

But I got a kitty kitty, so it's not all bad.  The woman is working (I think) and thinking way too hard.  I have to keep her reminded of the best things in life-laughing, farting, eating.  I tell her when to bring Solo in-and I make sure he wakes up early in the morning.....HAW HAW.  He's asleep, sound asleep and I call SOLO SOLO and he wakes up and has to pee so the woman gets up-and on her way out she gives me a peanut.  Yes yes yes.

I don't know where the other kitty went.  I called and called and it made the woman cry when I did that, so I did it to see if she would cry.  When she quit crying, I'd say "kitty outside?" and she'd start up again.  It all worked out though-now we have a kitty again.

When will she learn it's just easier on everyone to bring me what I ask for?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sunday Afternoon’s Entertainment

Sunday Afternoon’s Entertainment

KMAT-A photo reprisal and song



SHUD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT
AND MEMORIES BE BLIND
SHUD IRRITATIONS RISE AND SAUGHT
KISS MY ASS AND YOU KISS MINE
FOR AULD BITTER WHINE M'DEAR
FOR AULD BITTER WHINE............
WE'LL WHINE AND BITCH ONE MORE LAST TIME
KISS MY ASS, AND YOU KISS MINE...........

Cue:background music

And so ends KMAT 2009.  Adieu and farewell-I'm done with it.  Look for something new in 2010.

I just reread this and it wasn't clear-I AM done with 2009, but I'm also done with regular KMA postings.  It's hard to due cranky on schedule...and maybe not a good idea anway.



Monday, December 28, 2009

Haiku Bones-Regret

Winter sun burns cold
Icicles slowly melting
Water's silent tears

Cactus Monday-If Cacti laid eggs....



I would imagine it would look like this.  Taken with cell phone again.  Happy Cactus Monday.  I thought this was a cherimoya, but I looked it up on the internet, and it is apparently not.  When I go back to the store if they have some more, I will write it down this time.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Elephant in the Snow


My favorite blizzard photo so far-Brave Little Eliie shines on!

Six Word Saturday-an annoucement

Oliver will announce
Something on Wednesday.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Scenes from my House

Background Music:Lion Sleeps tonight and Oliver the Parrot doing Disney Bird sounds and laughing like a maniac.  He's just finished his bath in his water dish.  Parakeets just woke up and are twittering softly in preparation for their afternoon Romp and Feed and squawk fest.

Scene:  Blizzard raging outside-house is warm and cozy.

Dogs are waking up from long nap/chew on bone session and I'm trying to find the energy (via some great coffee I got as a gift and chocolate I bought for Blizzard weathering purposes) to pull on my Bogs and go out and try to get some pictures.

Picture taking will be better if the white out stops, but by then the pristine part of the snow will be gone-my dogs love their snow a little too much.

I doubt very seriously we will make it OUT to dinner tomorrow and I really don't care.  I'll trudge down, visit with the folks and then resume my heavy nesting activity, and this will likely be one of the best Christmas' that I can remember.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

HAW-Ho Ho Ho

Up on a housetop
Clippy Claws
African Greys waddle  like Santa Claus
Down through the chimney

Oh, wait, we don't have a chimney......I don't think I'd want to go down through a chimney anyway.  Dirty nasty chimney. NO NO NO, not me me me, Mister Bird.  MISTER BIRDY BIRD.

I don't know why the woman stuck that poster in the middle of my song and why she says we must ignore it.  It's what they call a teaser.  I don't think it's nice to tease, unless you are going to give me something for my trouble.  Then it might be OK.

The woman does a lot I don't understand but she gives me craps and apples and last week I got a pork rind and some pistachios.  YEEEEES.  And egg egg egg.  Oh, and a couple of chicken legs.  Yes, last week was pretty good in the old food category.

I also got a big sack to rip up, and I didn't get in too much trouble for going into the art bag and making a GREAT BIG POOP!  I added a link-I want you to know I don't make these things up.  And here-here is on for Don't Fall into the Toilet.  That is for Denise-you know who you are even though you don't comment and you call me a squab.

Anyway-enough teasing.  I will see you next week-Happy Animal Wednesday and Happy Holidays-HO HO HO-HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KMA-All you Cottonpickers



This came in a package from Lolo-isn't it perfect?  I never picked cotton, but my mother did and my brother did and my Daddy died young-Workin in the Coal mines.  Ah, Country Western Music.  Even mentions Oklahoma, go figure.

Next week I guess we'll do a mandatory KMA 2009, not sure where to go this week since it's Christmas and Hanukah and Kwanza  and all that.  Don't get me wrong, it's all good, but enforced merriment, yeah, Kiss My Ass.  Fake it till you Make it-kiss my ass too-that pretty much only works when you feel up to faking it.

Two reverses required (I'll be glad when that's over by the way).  These are suggestions-if someone you know is struggling, take the time to listen, or say I hope you feel better soon if you don't have much time, but don't do that dismissive "Oh come on, it's the holidays" which we all know really means "I'm really busy right now and I don't have time for your issues".  Ok, that was one.

Two-Be kind to yourself too.  If you can't do it all, do what you can as best you can and kick back.  You are not responsible for the entire holiday experience for the entire world.

Ok, Reverse kisses kiss my ass-that's it, we are done-it's too much trouble and it messes with my ass kissing groove.  I feel better already.

Grumpy holiday drivers-kiss my ass.  If I signal and want to turn, and you have to slow down while I do it-FINE.  I don't give a shit if it slows you by .25 seconds.  Your destination is really not that important to me-hello-I'm headed to MY destination.

Sugar kiss my ass don't go away I need you I want you I love you I'm not an addict it's a lie.....Ok, I'm sure you get my drift.

People who make themselves crazy trying to even up the gifts-kiss my ass and give yourself a break.  I have to fight the urge to do that still and to this day.  Do you go by number of gifts, amount of dollars, quality of gift to you to the recipient.  Really, needless gift accounting-kiss my ass.  I wish one day to be free of gifting only during the month of December and birthdays.

Special shout out to those who say "I don't GIVE GIFTS, I don't WANT gifts" then they do.  Kiss my ass, I don't know what to do with you.  I really don't.

I'm kind of done for today.  I'm not really over excited or angry about anything-faking indignation can kiss my ass too!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Cactus Monday Nopalitos Study

This was taken with my new cell phone.  I edited it only for size.  Not too shabby for a cell phone photo.  I hope everyone has a a great week.


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Illustration Friday-Undone



Quick thumb pad index finger sketch.  I forgot how fun it was to do those.  I just gave in to my favorite Gin Blossom's line of all time.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A tantrum

Solo says "I WANT IN THERE WITH YOU NOW!!!!!" Yes-he's yelling. He's a fierce puppy! Tremble and be afraid.




Really folks, he's fierce. Ok, maybe not so much. But one day-fierce. Yes. Solo will be fierce. Maybe.

I

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

HAW-Oliver Answers Your Questions



Haw-I'm going to answer your questions!


Teri C asks...Is it safe to put up a Christmas Tree?


Terri, it might be safe for me, but not the tree.  The woman hung decorations on a window frame and they are pretty.  I like to look at them, but I can't land on a frame.  A tree-well, even if I didn't land on it the Solo pup would pull it down. The cat died.  I don't know what that is, but I think it means she won't be pulling down any trees.


Emily asks....What do you throw when you get mad?
The woman has a shiney silver bucket she will hang on my cage.  I walk over and throw it to her and she catches it-then she hangs it up and we do it again until I get bored.  I also throw off anything she puts up there that I don't want to eat. I'm not mad though, I just don't want it on my cage.


Lisa asks....Do you get close to the dogs, are you afraid of them?
I have sat in the chair with the woman, Prissy and the cat.  The woman has to remind me not to nibble Prissy's ears.  Solo and I are making friends-he has a big nose and I'd kind of like to nibble it.  Moon comes over to my cage and visits.  The other's pretty much stay away from me.  Sometimes I will dive bomb them for fun, but when I do the woman says NO NO NO and puts me back in my cage.  HMPH. The kitty kitty used to come when I called, but she doesn't any more on account of the whole dead thing.


Mim wants to know-which came first-the bird or the egg?
I think it must be the bird, because this birdy likes to eat eggs.  In my world view, I am the beginning and the end, the be-all and end all of all that is good. I don't spend a lot of time worrying about those who came before and what do I care about those who come after?  I think when you humans started writing stuff down you got a little sideways.


Soulbrush wants to know who I would go live with if the woman kicked me out.
Is this a trick question?  In the first place the woman wouldn't get out of bed or remember to put the dogs out or back in if I didn't tell her.  Then I'd have to remind her to kick me out.


I'm not really sure what happened and how I ended up here, and for awhile I wasn't sure I liked it much.  I wanted things to be the same as they were.  But now I'm here and I'm going to stay.  I was scared the first time she went away, and I don't like it when she does, but I know now she'll come back.


So, she and I are stuck with each other, because I wouldn't kick her out either.  I've spent too much effort training her to do my bidding and the dogs would starve and who would answer the door?


Caroline would like to know how old I am.
I am going to be 10 years old this year....yes yes yes.  We don't know the exact date of my birth-so I just take the last two digits of the current year-it's close enough for parrot work.


I will live up to 50 years in captivity...not sure what captivity means.  Here is some good information about greys in general-some of which applies to me me me.  Notice there is no mention of art collection or internet activity-clearly the authors have never met a grey like me.


That was fun fun fun!  I like talking about ME!  It's my favorite subject.  HAW HAW HAW!


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

KMAT-Lighten up Folks (Irreverent Religious humor warning)


I'm not sure if people are counting down to Christmas or Armageddon.  Why so serious?  Slap what food you have on the table, prepare it with love hand out the presents you have with love and stop with all the worry.  I feel the same way about Chanukah, but that has already started to the countdown reference wouldn't work.  People who take the presentry and pageantry too seriously, Kiss My Ass.  Reverse kiss-it is good that you care about your loved ones, and I recognize that that is part of where the stress is coming from-but your loved ones won't care what you do if you do it with love, and the ones who do care, well, you will never make THEM happy anyway.

The only worse Holiday for one up manship and trying to make people feel bad is Valentine's day.  This year I want someone to ask me what I got for Valentine's day-I'm gong to say "not a fucking thing, no one loves me, what did YOU get?"  (Please, someone remember to ask me).  I digressed didn't I?

This reverse kiss is hard.  I'm glad I don't have to keep it up much longer.

Here's one-I LIKE FRUITCAKE.  If you don't, Kiss My Ass (and send me your unwanted fruitcake for a reverse kiss).  No really, don't.  I don't need it sitting around saying 'eat me, it's the holidays'.  Calories can kiss my ass-they already end up there anyway, it won't be much of a stretch.  (Reverse, we need them to live, yeah yeah, we are lucky to worry about losing weight instead of starving...)

All this vent then reverse is making me dizzy and cranky.  KISS MY ASS Reverse Kiss.....Kiss Reverse ASS MY KISS  (is that a reverse kiss or a mirror kiss)?  I think I need to go puke now.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dog People-Read up!

Kaylan Head, a very well known trainer here in Oklahoma, has started her own Dog Blog.  Please stop by and say hello and welcome her to the Blogosphere.

She has worked with me with both Moon and Molly-and I listen when she talks!

Cactus Monday-Cactus Red Carpet

All eyes were on Nancy as she arrived at the Cactus Winter Ball.  She hoped no one noticed she only had one lizard for her carriage.






Madge went for the simple, elegant look.  HCM!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Six Word Saturday -raw

Throat, eyes, nose, ears.  Raw. Yuck.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Ilustration Friday-Hatch



Every new life that hatches is a universe unto itself.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

HAW-Poppy Poppy Poppy

I have a new way to control the woman.  I yell POPPY POPPY POPPY when I first wake up.  This makes the strange black fluffy dog start whining.  In his world, that means come here, but of course he can't cause he's in his cage.  This makes the woman get up and let him out.

The other day he got his toe stuck in his cage and shrieked and that brought the woman running.  So now when I want to summon her, I shriek like a poppy.  I'm so smart.  When the Poppy is outside, it doesn't work because she knows its me.

The woman got a little annoyed with me.  I was chewing on a box that it is ok for me to chew on-she saves them for me.  But I wanted to have a little nibble of her rolling art case.  Well, it was different entirely from the cardboard box, so I nibbled a bit off the edge.  She said "NO NO NO" and put me up on my cage.  How RUDE is that?


She put all these pretty shiny lights up out in the yard-what's the point?  She should have strung them on my cage-YES YES YES!  She mentioned something about chewing and electrocution-what does she know-I am ........>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She left the closet door open the other day and I got in there-oh yes yes yes!  It could climb around and poke through boxes, I want to do that again soon.

Sometimes now I listen to Christmas Carols instead of Toddler Tunes.  I want to expand my horizons.

I could talk about me all day long.  Actually, that's pretty much what I do all day long.  The woman says living with me is like an audio stream of Oliver Consciousness.  I like the sound of that.  Sometimes she says I'm on an Endless Loop.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Oh well, if it's about me me me, it must be GOOD!

Have a Happy Animal Wednesday, my good and loyal friends.  If you have any questions you'd like for me to answer, please leave them in the comment section.  I would like to do an Ask Oliver blog next week.  The woman says that you don't have to limit your questions to questions about ME, you can ask me anything.  Don't worry, it will work out to being about me anyway.....HAW!!!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

One Year Later

KMAT post is below this one-and please visit it-first and foremost life goes on-and KMA is necessary and vital.

John left a year ago today.   He's had a year of not being trapped in the body that betrayed him.  Ok, that's harsh, I doubt his body betrayed him, it just failed him, like bodies eventually do.  But, as you can see, from the word betrayal, I'm still a bit angry at the turn of events.

I'll get over it, I'm sure.  One day I'll even get over wondering where John "went"-most likely when I arrive at the same place.  Or yes, I'll admit to wondering if he went anywhere at all.

The fact that there might just be an end, as in THE END, no more-has never really bothered me.  I've never worried about "dying" on the table during an operation either.  I'd be asleep, so I probably wouldn't notice. I'm not real crazy about thinking about events that might lead up to the end.  I've never been a big fan of pain, fear, etc.

So much of that we probably bring with us to the party.

The reality of Uncle John's death was he was awake less and less as his body failed, slipped into a place where he couldn't be roused, and died.  He informed me about a month before he left he'd be checking out soon.  His exact words "I'll be reporting for duty in a permanent location soon.  I'm looking forward to settling down."

Allrighty, that memory just made me cry.  But I'm not crying because he's dead, I'm crying because I miss him.  Does that make sense?

The same holds true for Dottie.  I still slip and call Prissy Dottie, and then I tear up.  But, to be honest, the tears are for me, who misses her dog, not for Dottie.  Dottie was clearly ready to go and let me know in no uncertain terms.

There is more to come-I will likely outlive (if I'm lucky) my current animals.  Daddy is headed for a pacemaker, and Mom's memory is slipping more rapidly, the tremors in her hand more visible.  On a cloudy cold day like today, it seems Death is all around.

The trick is not to be dismayed by it.  Death IS all around, and always has been.  Just because we don't choose to acknowledge it doesn't mean it was never there.  Death, Life, Love, Laughter-they exist everywhere and no where, all at once.  The choice to see or not to see is ours.

I've always been one of those people who HAS to look.  I can't seem to not look.  Even today, a year later, with fresh tears, I'm glad I looked.  I'm glad I sat down and thought about how I feel, remembered how I felt then.  At first, I thought, "how self centered," but John is dead, the only thing that remains is my memory of the event.

I think, sometimes, we get so caught up in the whole selfless notion we push ourselves aside and miss out on a lot of our own lives.

What a rambling post this has been-started out with John, ended with me.  But that's kind of how it is-John is gone, I'm here, I miss him, I still have places to go.  And where ever I go, I take his memory with me.

KMA-BBRRRRR Cold


I don't care for the cold, and I'm trying to foster a better attitude, but really, KISS MY ASS.  By better attitude, I am venturing out in it-and I sometimes even wear a coat, hat and gloves.  But my knees still hurt and ache and creak-KISS MY ASS.

OK, Reverse ass kissing now-Cold kills the insects.  yay!  Aching knees, well, at least I have knees-really, yay on that, I'm glad I do.

The weather sites (several) are predicting gale force winds later this week.  Gale force winds-Kiss My Ass.  Reverse kiss-wow, that's tough, let me think.  OH, I have one-when the wind blows the temps don't fall as much (but it feels colder).  That's kind a neutral event on the ol' ass kissometer.  I KNOW-maybe it will blow down the weak branches before the next ice storm-saving us all from the dreaded power outage.  Really, that's the best I got for gale force winds.

What's rubbing you the wrong way, and then the right way this week?  Remember, during December, we have to do both a kiss and a reverse kiss.  That sounds so school marm-like.  Tuff shit-it's my blog-don't like it?  Kiss my ass!  Reverse kiss-don't like it-suffer anyway-it will increase your good karma.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Cacuts Monday-Lousy Tacos

This is a local taco place and we've always called it Lousy Tacos.  The original place is gone now-this is the new improved one in what used to be a Carl's Jr.  The food is good though, always has been  I like local places.  HCM

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Ilustration Friday-Crunchy

I couldn't get past the bubble wrap idea.  Bubble wrap is a difficult medium, so I finally stuck some on a bit of card and embellished....then had a blast crunching the other half of the old envelope I took the bubble wrap from to begin with.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Beep-You Copy?

Even thought it appears otherwise, I do other things besides sit around and listen to Oliver.  But lately he's been "beeping" and then saying something.  Today it was clear-BEEP-You copy?  This is a before he came here word series.  He makes a lot of telephone noises and stuff-maybe someone had one of those fancy walkie talkie phones.

I'm in the garage cleaning up after the flood-makes getting rid of some of the stuff easier anyway.  It was mostly excess dog clothes-Dottie wore a lot clothes-Prissy not so much.  So, I was looking at the wet remains of Dotties pink fringed jacket she wore on her first plane flight and suddenly I hear "BEEEEEEP-You Copy?"

Yeah, Oliver, I copy.  Dotty is gone, you are here-toss that stuff and get inside and bring you an apple-STAT

Flood, wrecks, 4 inch needles in the belly, it's been quite a week.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ok, I get it

Man, when a hot water heater goes it leaves an awful mess.  New one is on the way, big check going out the door.  The universe has a most unsubtle way of saying get off your ass or I will get you off your ass.

I get it. I do.  Thank you.  No, REALLY thank you.  You've done enough.  Go away.  Sigh.

I am going to start a new label category-random disasters.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

HAW-LOOK LOOK LOOK AT ME ME ME



Caroline has already finished my painting I won won won!  I was allowed by the tyrant who lives in my home to post on her blog, but I was not allowed to post on THIS blog until today.  Now, this tyrant does not have ANY golden apples, nor does she have a crown.  But I don't want to talk about her, I want to talk about ME.

Didn't Caroline do a marvelous job of capturing my very essence?  I have decided to become a Patron of the Arts.  So, in additon to my name name name, Mister Bird, I will also be known as Oliver the Parrot, Patron of the Arts.  OTPPOTA.    Doesn't that look important?  Maybe it should be OTP, POTA.

Mister Bird, Esq., Patron of the Arts.  Oh, I like that.

The strange black and white dog is a mystery to me.  I am a little confused by his name.  The woman says it's Solo, which sounds to me like a cross between Hello and Hola.  I don't like that, and when I called him Hello she laughed and we all know I don't like that.  So I call him Big Boy.

Big Boy stretches out when he sleeps, and he got his toe caught in his shiny silver cage.  OH MY-the screaming.  He screamed and I shouted and the woman came running.  She sorted it out, like when I got my beak caught.  I didn't tell him to shut up because when you are frightened like that, you pretty much have to scream.  How else would the woman know it was time to come running?

The woman is going to put up pink lights soon for something called Christmas.  If I like them, I may instruct her to keep them up indefinitely.  I can do that, now that I am a POTA.  HAW!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

KMAT-Whoever painted a Target on my Mustang


Crap on a Cracker and KMA-two wrecks in one day.  A new record.  I'm going to have to do the insurance thing, and the paint job thing and what a PITA that is.   Black Friday holds new meaning for me now.  Neither was my fault, Mustang hurt slightly, me a little sore, Molly who was in the first one is fine.  But, SERIOUSLY?  Kiss My Ass.

One Holiday Event Down, More to Go.  Oh wait, I'm supposed to be fostering a good attitude.  Ok, in that case ANTI Kiss MY ASS-meaning good vibes are going out into the world.  Hey, it's my blog, I can make the rules.  Reverse Ass Kissing is allowed.

So, for the entire Month of December, if you want to complain you have to do it along with a reverse kiss as well.  Bitch away, then suck it up and say something nice, even if it's just a random niceness.

So-long store lines-Kiss My Ass.  Reverse Kiss-glad I have money to shop.

Don't like the rules-Kiss My Ass.  Reverse Kiss-glad you stopped by.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Cacuts Monday-Cactus 3 Ways




I've been watching too much Iron Chef Lately.  Happy Cactus Monday!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Mr Random Rooster

Sometimes there is just no reason for posting an image.  Sometimes there is no reason for creating it in the first place.  I'm afraid of roosters a little bit-they can be cross at times, and their talons are large.  But I thought this guy was really pretty.  I still do.

Six Word Saturday

Two carwrecks
One Day
New Record
*******************************

Car damage only
I am fine
********************************

Friday, November 27, 2009

Illustration Friday-Entangled






I see merit in both of these for entangled-which do you like?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Surviving Thanksgiving

I'm not that original....google "Thanksgiving Survival" and you'll come up with thousands of hits.  I'm glad I did that (google) because I immediately got the sense that there are others out there like me.

First, my likes-I like being grateful, I like gatherings-just not at my house, not for days and not in big groups.  Hmm, maybe I really don't like gatherings all that much.  I like food.

Ok, I've sat here for five minutes and that pretty much covers the likes.

I don't like conversation closeness (aka subject you wouldn't discuss with casual friends) in big groups just because we are "family".  If the only communication we have all year is via facebook updates, don't ask personal crap, and don't ask it at the dinner table.  Survival tip 1: Say, "I'd rather not discuss" and then don't.  Tip 2: If you start giving reasons why you'd rather not discuss it, you ARE discussing it, so just leave it at "I'd rather not discuss."

If tips 1 and 2 get someone's panties in wad, let THEM make the scene, and don't be drawn in or participate.  Eventually that person will either get tired or someone else will jump in and say STFU.  Experience has shown, if you say you don't want to discuss something and then keep quiet, you will not take the hit for any ensuing drama.

Tip 3-don't host anything at your house.  You can't leave. When I'm ready to leave (I live near my folks) I make a point of saying "Well, I'm done for THE DAY, I will see you all TOMORROW."  I try to take my leave while I still have the energy and the will to go home and watch TV or read.  Waiting till I'm already in a fetal position in my head is too long.

Tip 4-have something in advance for people who want to come by later.  No, not drinks.  If someone ignores my clever tip 3 and says "we'll be down later" I say "Please don't, XXXXXX"    Depending on my mood I can come up with a variety of XXXX's, the flaming shits is always a good one, upset stomach, SWINE FLU.  This year, I myself am going with "I'd rather you didn't, I need my alone time."

The alone time only works if you've established yourself as an antisocial hermit beforehand.  It will otherwise cause concern amongst those who care and a new bout of nosiness for those who are nosey.  If you haven't done preliminary work, it's better to stand up and scream "OH GOD, I'm gonna SHIT", run to the bathroom and then leave shortly thereafter, pointedly saying "I'll see you all TOMORROW."

For years I just went to Mexico every year for Thanksgiving, and that is something to consider for future years.

Ok, truth is, I've always used the shit excuse up to now.  I promise I will use the "I need my alone time" and I'll post and let you know how that went.  Happy Surviving!

Oh, one other thing-if your family is not a close knit family-don't feel "strange" because you don't feel that closeness that we are "supposed to feel" on Thanksgiving Day.  You are not strange-it's a strange custom.  Just focus on what you are grateful for, eat a big slice of pie and do the best you can.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

HAW-What is this all about?


A human celebration to be sure, something about eating turkeys and cooking.  I thought I would dress for the occasion and if I'm lucky I'll get a marrow bone.  YES-birds are omnivores as will as omniscient. HAW!

I would not like it if my tail was all big like that and flopped around behind me.  I like my cute little red tail  The woman forgot she zoomed in and there was a gap in my turkey tail so she dropped some text in it.  I don't care-as I have already stated, I prefer my red red pretty tail.

She gave me red wattles.  Much like blue platforms are not pink perches, red wattles are not pretty, sassy red tails, are they?  But, this is just for pretend.

OH, OH OH.  I'm a winner.  I won a bidding war on KJ's blog and Emily Rabbit will be getting jelly beans cause she had wayyyy more than 25 comments.  The woman says I am not to bid any more, I liked it so well I kept on bidding and winning over and over again.  It was for a good cause....cause I wanted to WIN!.

Lolo started it all with sending me my own ATC, and soulbrush sent a lovely portrait of ME ME ME.  The woman is going to give me my own section of wall and I will hang my artwork on it.  Or she will.  And I can look, but I must not eat the artwork or even nibble on it.  Or poop on the frames.  BAH.  Rules.

Dogs cannot collect art and dogs do not have CD collections.  They can only listen to MY CD's when I let them.  But don't think I am going to get all snooty and cultured....NO NO NO.  I still like to make farting noises and laugh too loud.  HAW!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

KMAT-Spay and neuter your dogs people


I've seen the dogs in my neighborhood-very few are breeding stock by any stretch of the imagination.  Your female, who you don't intend breed, in heat, causes all kinds of chaos in the dog community at large-even in my pack of neutered males.

Your males are jumping fences and getting into fights.  Neuter them dammit.

You can go to one of the many low cost clinics-if you don't have time and 5 dollars to drop your dog off and pick it up-you don't need a dog.  Oh, yeah, they have to be vaccinated.  Can't keep up with that either?  You don't need a dog.  Disagree?  Kiss MY ASS.

Pets are not rights, they are responsibilities.  As an adult, what are you teaching your kids about responsibility if you don't take proper care of a pet?  Learning experience my ASS.  At least for learning the right lessons.  How is teaching your child to abandon an animal to the backyard and ignore its basic needs teaching your child anything about what he/she needs to learn to grow up to be a decent person.  Disagree?  Kiss My Ass.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Don't Worry, it's OK

I know I am bidding against my own pocketbook on KJ's blog....LOL.  I'm just having fun imagining what a bidding war would be like with Oliver.  He actually appears to like Solo, the new pup, and we are working at relationship building so Solo is not overwhelmed.

When Solo gets cool with him, I've got to work with Molly.  It's really holding her back in the house that she is afraid of him.  Dogs go through "fear periods" but she's been consistently frightened by him, and the devil takes him over when he sees her.

Oliver definitely has color preferences, and Molly is a red (or liver colored dog).  Moon, his buddy, is blue merle-very similar to grey.

We've had a hoot owl outside the window for several nights.  That upsets some folks, native Americans for one, but I love owls.  They usually end up near me anytime I stay in one place long.

I put the dogs up at night for many reasons, one more will be to let this guy hunt in my yard.  Not sure what kind of owl it is, it's not great horned or a screech, so it's probably a barn owl of some sort.  It's a single bird-I hope it finds a mate.  I love hearing them hunting a calling at night.

I've looked at couple of times at getting my raptor rehab license.  I don't know why it's fairly straightforward to get a falconry license but hard to get a rehab license.

I bought agility equipment for the big dogs for Christmas, but we aren't going to wait till then to use it.  Molly is in class right now.  I'm going to keep it behind fences though-they ate their tunnel they had before.  It was a cheap kids tunnel, well worth the 8 bucks!  But now it's time to add discipline into the mix-I'm going to need a heavy duty mixer for that one.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Six Word Saturday

Low carb crankiness
Soon will pass.

************************************************
In keeping with my dog training mantra of face the issue right now, right now in the midst of "food season" I am going low carb, Southbeach in my kindle, damn the torpedos......I even have concocted a low carb dessert for my T-giving table-the rest is no problem-I will not make gluten free dressing and viola-no carbs for me.

Truth be told, I had one bad cranky day and that was it.  Possibly because I decided if I was to give up sugary goodness, I could have whatever I wanted that fit the parameters of the program, so I did a little thinking and came up with low carb luxury food-Caviar and light sour cream on celery stix.  The next day my folks took me to a new Chinese buffet, where I piled up with seafood and veggies-yes, mussels, octopus and shrimp are low carb.

I see absolutely no reason or redemption in needless suffering.

Illustration Friday-Music


This is a reflection of the grey day around me, but brownie points for putting something out there, right?
 

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

HAW-A change of scenery will do YOU good...Me? Not so sure.

The woman is up to something.  She brought in my abduction cage.  I have three cages-a nighty night travel cage, an abduction cage where I am housed when I am abducted so the woman can go away, and my regular cage.

First she sat up a big silver cage on the floor and put a strange furry dog in it.  MY cages, my birdy bird cages, are black.  Always black.  But I like shiny things. Yes yes, and this was a big shiny shiny with a moving blob of fur in it.  So, she got a perch out, and carried me over and I didn't think it was close enough so I FLEW over to the silver cage and walked all over.  HAW-that little fur ball went nuts!  Oh yes.

So, I walked on it some more until the woman made me quit. Hmph.  THEN she brought in my abduction cage (with my travel shiny in it-yes yes yes!).  She put it right by the shiny silver fluff dog cage and told me, ME to be nice.  Nice? I'm always nice.

I wasn't going to like it, but I can see the TV better and watch the fluff dog and see the mail person and the street stuff happen-so FINE.  I will like it.  As long as I get my apples and craps, who cares.  Besides, I can still SEE my other cage.

Today one of the neighbors rang the doorbell, and I yelled "BE QUIET" and he left, and then the woman had to go out and explain it was me.  OH YES....that was fun fun fun.  I am going to yell every time someone comes to the door-I yell at the mail person too.  I like yelling at people even more than yelling at the dogs.

Does she really think I don't see through her clumsy plan to make me forget that in that other cage is a blue platform where my pink perch used to be?  I AM flattered she has gone to all this trouble to make me feel better about the blue platform, even to the fuss and expense of purchasing a small furry animal to amuse me.


But really, does she think I don't KNOW?

HAW-I know all.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

KMAT-Aging and Creepy Mailing Lists



Today is my birthday-I'm 49.  SHIT.  Kiss My ASS.  How did that happen?  I dunno.

Anyway, I'm on what may be the creepiest mailing list ever-the list of people who have dead loved ones that R****haven has buried somewhere.  Periodically they send me notices for general memorial services in case I just want to go sit around with other people who have dead loved ones they (R-haven) has planted.

In today's flyer was an order form for holiday wreaths.  I cracked up.  John didn't like holiday decorations in his house or later his rooms, I doubt he'd want a red wreath dangling from his tombstone.  For one thing-it isn't allowed in the military cemetery....if I snuck one in-well, I won't.  CREEPY HOLIDAY MARKETING-KISS MY ASS.  I can't believe business is so slow they'd have to drum up business from former customers.  Ewwwww.   Ewwwww! KMA.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cactus Monday-Cactus Dreams



Everybody sometimes dreams of being something we are not.  Maybe cactus dream of becoming Lily's.  Wouldn't it be odd if Lily's dreamed of becoming cactus?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Six Word Saturday

Drawing a blank
in my head......

Friday, November 13, 2009

Illustration Friday-Balance



Our beloved Mim is on a never ending quest for balance and enlightment.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Others we have lost



I seem to get news quite frequently of pet losses, and they remind me of my own.  When I was writing this poem, for them, and for my own loves, I thought of this gull.  I met him my last day in Provincetown, I was having lunch at Bubala's and he thought it a good idea to share some of my leftovers.  He seemed to know me.


Anyway, here is the poem for those constant companions who have left us.


No hole in my heart where you were
Just a place that's only for you
Keeping you near, always near
My friend, you always knew my name

Never apart, never apart
We will never be apart
There's a place in my heart just for you
My friend, you always knew my name

Seasons change, come and go
People, places, names and things
Nothing stays the same
My friend, you always knew my name

Maybe we have this one life
If we'll have more, I can't say
But this I know, I know for sure
My friend, you always knew my name

Apropos of Nothing

I'm off to get Solo today but I wanted to leave something behind so you guys would know I'm thinking of you.

I took the base shot in Salem, drawn to the linear quality of the building and the icon, and the strangeness that Salem would have THIS in the town center.  Ok, I don't get out much.

But, when I opened it up again, I swear it looked like Jesus and the tree were having a nice chat.  So I enhanced that aspect.  I apologize in advance if it offends you-I'm sure Jesus knows I didn't mean any harm.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

HAW-The BIUE perch is still there, I'm coping



Yes, yes yes-it's still there and I'm still sleeping in my green extra food bowl.  Who cares?  I like my pink perch so I throw my food on the floor of my domain and then go down and sit on my pink perch (which used to be up high and I could sleep on it) and eat.  So there.

Do you see me me ME ME ME?  I was offended at all the pictures going up that were NOT ME and the woman made me over in the style of the Great OZ-where his head floats and scares the cowardly lion.  HAW!  That's good-I'd do that too and I'd laugh and say "what's your problem, huh?"

The woman has been nice to me this week.  She let me watch Einstein the pretty little grey girl on her 'puter.  I sat next to her on the bed, and the 'puter sat on her belly and she pushed the buttons to make picture of Einstein come up.

I am not allowed to play on the computer or touch the cords.  I'm not supposed to touch any cords unless they are in my cage, then they are MY CORDS and I can touch them.

The woman has put a funny cage without a top on the floor.  It's gold (eww) and she calls it an ex pen.  She says it's not for me.  I disagree and I like to climb on it.  The Moon was in a cage like that once when he was much much smaller.  Now he's big BIG.  And the Molly is even bigger-but she's still afraid of me and I like it that way.  MY pens, mister bird pens, are black.

The woman did this on purpose (with intention as she says) so that I would always know it's "Ok" to go on a black pen.  Birds are in black pens, dogs never are.

But, she messed up.  The big dogs roughed up their night crages (she calls them crates) and she didn't want to order black ones-so she ordered new matching silver cages.  After she bought and paid for them, she realizes chrome sets off the Moon's OCD-so now she's debating on whether to try to work with it and desensitize or just replace them.  But SHE doesn't like the gold ones (neither do I) and of course they can't be black.

 BLACK belongs to ME ME ME, and you know that color matters to ME.  If she tried to put me in a silver cage, oh no no no.  Not going to happen. Not me, mister bird.

How will this all end?  Frankly, I don't care.  Not my problem.  But isn't it strange, I ask you, that she puts a BLUE platform in my BLACK cage, and suddenly she is besieged and buried in silver, Moondog activating cages?  Hmmmm, it's really best to not mess with Mister Bird, is it?

HAW!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

KMAT-Going in to the store for one thing and coming out with more



Sunday, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy some more Copco mugs that resemble Starbuck mugs. Starbucks has a glass version-but really SB, WHO carries glass in their car?  But, I love the whole lid thing-because yes, I'm a spiller of epic proportions, combine that with birds flying, dogs a barking, old people-and yes, lids are a good idea.

What the hell was I talking about?  Needless segues that take on a life of their own, KMA.

So, two hours later, I roll out of the store with a Mustang Back seat LOAD.  Yes, it's true, I had been intending to buy a new pillow and a bed wedge, and a small humidifier for my bedroom.  I needed the random serving dishes and I had been looking for a little melon baller spoon to make Prozac meatballs for Moon.  I've been moaning about wine going bad, so I bought a new-fangled stopper that is supposed to do the trick.  So, three hundred and lots dollars later, I roll out with my cups.  KISS MY ASS.

I was so annoyed with myself I went to Pier One to pick up little spoons they left out of my sack last week and I said "To HELL with it"  and bought the trays I needed for Thanksgiving and the wine glasses I needed n case I am able to drink wine and then went next door and replaced the house shoes I left in P-town when I got locked out of my room because I went to the beach in my house shoes.  Not having house shoes?  I think NOT-KMA.

I did the same thing at the hardware store.  YES.  Hardware store, earlier in the week.  I went to buy a new lock and bolt cutters (to remove the old lock) and came out with bolt cutters, a new lock, 6 keys for said new lock, a mini hacksaw, blades for the hacksaw and last but not least, a dog chuck-it.  They were having a 20 percent off anything that fits in the sack sale-so I am now ready to break into to Fort Knox AND tire out my dogs.  KMA retail stores luring me with your stupid sacks.

And the worst thing about is, it's never done.  EVER.  Things wear out, they have to be replaced, a new better model comes along, I suddenly have the need to saw may way out of something that is too big for the mini-hacksaw to handle.  You know.  The sheer neediness of life.  KMA.

But isn't my mammoth ass to die for?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ancient Cacti


Prior to thorns, ancient cacti evolved an almost reptilian hide to protect themselves.   Hollowed out, they made lovely sushi wrappers.

P-Town Teaser Photo

Don't you just LOVE the seagull in my header?  I was going to make him a picture, then I decided to promote him to header-please don't mention this to a certain Mr. Birdy Bird Bird.

I can't even lie and say it reminded me of Oliver-I really felt like this fellow was channeling Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but for all I know his name was Horrace Raymond Scuppernog.


Museum Evening was great.  The band was the best surprise, and I don't know why I was surprised.  Norman has hatched some pretty well known talent.  The dessert selection, though pretty, posed no real threat to my dieting efforts.  It wasn't OMIGOD good.




The panoramas photographed really really REALLY well.




But, of course my faves were the BONES!


I love ancient bones.

  Ok, one more bone photo.



 The mandatory Mammoth in the Rotunda and a random couple of people.           A painted leather saddle bag. A distant relative, me and Denise.


The Aids virus.


Creepy, huh? It was actually kind of pretty, but appearances are often deceiving, aren't they?A diatom.  They make your toothpaste rough (Denise told me that).I loved the beadwork.  I also love the ancient people's exhibits.

Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to see more P-town?


Isn't this lovely?

What about this?  Or maybe this?

So easy to just pull random photos off the disc-everyone is a good one.

Happy Sunday!