HAW-Not THE announcement, but AN announcement

Not even parrot related.  BOOO BOOO BOOO.

This is my new kitty kitty, Luna.  She's grey like me and she talks a lot and loudly, like me.

That is not THE annoucement, NO NO NO-but the woman is struggling with  multiple projects and guess who gets put on the back burner.  Oh yes yes yes.

But I got a kitty kitty, so it's not all bad.  The woman is working (I think) and thinking way too hard.  I have to keep her reminded of the best things in life-laughing, farting, eating.  I tell her when to bring Solo in-and I make sure he wakes up early in the morning.....HAW HAW.  He's asleep, sound asleep and I call SOLO SOLO and he wakes up and has to pee so the woman gets up-and on her way out she gives me a peanut.  Yes yes yes.

I don't know where the other kitty went.  I called and called and it made the woman cry when I did that, so I did it to see if she would cry.  When she quit crying, I'd say "kitty outside?" and she'd start up again.  It all worked out though-now we have a kitty again.

When will she learn it's just easier on everyone to bring me what I ask for?

HAW-Ho Ho Ho

Up on a housetop
Clippy Claws
African Greys waddle  like Santa Claus
Down through the chimney

Oh, wait, we don't have a chimney......I don't think I'd want to go down through a chimney anyway.  Dirty nasty chimney. NO NO NO, not me me me, Mister Bird.  MISTER BIRDY BIRD.

I don't know why the woman stuck that poster in the middle of my song and why she says we must ignore it.  It's what they call a teaser.  I don't think it's nice to tease, unless you are going to give me something for my trouble.  Then it might be OK.

The woman does a lot I don't understand but she gives me craps and apples and last week I got a pork rind and some pistachios.  YEEEEES.  And egg egg egg.  Oh, and a couple of chicken legs.  Yes, last week was pretty good in the old food category.

I also got a big sack to rip up, and I didn't get in too much trouble for going into the art bag and making a GREAT BIG POOP!  I added a link-I want you to know I don't make these things up.  And here-here is on for Don't Fall into the Toilet.  That is for Denise-you know who you are even though you don't comment and you call me a squab.

Anyway-enough teasing.  I will see you next week-Happy Animal Wednesday and Happy Holidays-HO HO HO-HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAW-Oliver Answers Your Questions

Haw-I'm going to answer your questions!

Teri C asks...Is it safe to put up a Christmas Tree?

Terri, it might be safe for me, but not the tree.  The woman hung decorations on a window frame and they are pretty.  I like to look at them, but I can't land on a frame.  A tree-well, even if I didn't land on it the Solo pup would pull it down. The cat died.  I don't know what that is, but I think it means she won't be pulling down any trees.

Emily asks....What do you throw when you get mad?

The woman has a shiney silver bucket she will hang on my cage.  I walk over and throw it to her and she catches it-then she hangs it up and we do it again until I get bored.  I also throw off anything she puts up there that I don't want to eat. I'm not mad though, I just don't want it on my cage.

Lisa asks....Do you get close to the dogs, are you afraid of them?

I have sat in the chair with the woman, Prissy and the cat.  The woman has to remind me not to nibble Prissy's ears.  Solo and I are making friends-he has a big nose and I'd kind of like to nibble it.  Moon comes over to my cage and visits.  The other's pretty much stay away from me.  Sometimes I will dive bomb them for fun, but when I do the woman says NO NO NO and puts me back in my cage.  HMPH. The kitty kitty used to come when I called, but she doesn't any more on account of the whole dead thing.

Mim wants to know-which came first-the bird or the egg?

I think it must be the bird, because this birdy likes to eat eggs.  In my world view, I am the beginning and the end, the be-all and end all of all that is good. I don't spend a lot of time worrying about those who came before and what do I care about those who come after?  I think when you humans started writing stuff down you got a little sideways.

Soulbrush wants to know who I would go live with if the woman kicked me out.

Is this a trick question?  In the first place the woman wouldn't get out of bed or remember to put the dogs out or back in if I didn't tell her.  Then I'd have to remind her to kick me out.

I'm not really sure what happened and how I ended up here, and for awhile I wasn't sure I liked it much.  I wanted things to be the same as they were.  But now I'm here and I'm going to stay.  I was scared the first time she went away, and I don't like it when she does, but I know now she'll come back.

So, she and I are stuck with each other, because I wouldn't kick her out either.  I've spent too much effort training her to do my bidding and the dogs would starve and who would answer the door?

Caroline would like to know how old I am.

I am going to be 10 years old this year....yes yes yes.  We don't know the exact date of my birth-so I just take the last two digits of the current year-it's close enough for parrot work.

I will live up to 50 years in captivity...not sure what captivity means.  Here is some good information about greys in general-some of which applies to me me me.  Notice there is no mention of art collection or internet activity-clearly the authors have never met a grey like me.

That was fun fun fun!  I like talking about ME!  It's my favorite subject.  HAW HAW HAW!

HAW-Poppy Poppy Poppy

I have a new way to control the woman.  I yell POPPY POPPY POPPY when I first wake up.  This makes the strange black fluffy dog start whining.  In his world, that means come here, but of course he can't cause he's in his cage.  This makes the woman get up and let him out.

The other day he got his toe stuck in his cage and shrieked and that brought the woman running.  So now when I want to summon her, I shriek like a poppy.  I'm so smart.  When the Poppy is outside, it doesn't work because she knows its me.

The woman got a little annoyed with me.  I was chewing on a box that it is ok for me to chew on-she saves them for me.  But I wanted to have a little nibble of her rolling art case.  Well, it was different entirely from the cardboard box, so I nibbled a bit off the edge.  She said "NO NO NO" and put me up on my cage.  How RUDE is that?

She put all these pretty shiny lights up out in the yard-what's the point?  She should have strung them on my cage-YES YES YES!  She mentioned something about chewing and electrocution-what does she know-I am ........>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She left the closet door open the other day and I got in there-oh yes yes yes!  It could climb around and poke through boxes, I want to do that again soon.

Sometimes now I listen to Christmas Carols instead of Toddler Tunes.  I want to expand my horizons.

I could talk about me all day long.  Actually, that's pretty much what I do all day long.  The woman says living with me is like an audio stream of Oliver Consciousness.  I like the sound of that.  Sometimes she says I'm on an Endless Loop.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Oh well, if it's about me me me, it must be GOOD!

Have a Happy Animal Wednesday, my good and loyal friends.  If you have any questions you'd like for me to answer, please leave them in the comment section.  I would like to do an Ask Oliver blog next week.  The woman says that you don't have to limit your questions to questions about ME, you can ask me anything.  Don't worry, it will work out to being about me anyway.....HAW!!!!!

HAW-What is this all about?

A human celebration to be sure, something about eating turkeys and cooking.  I thought I would dress for the occasion and if I'm lucky I'll get a marrow bone.  YES-birds are omnivores as will as omniscient. HAW!

I would not like it if my tail was all big like that and flopped around behind me.  I like my cute little red tail  The woman forgot she zoomed in and there was a gap in my turkey tail so she dropped some text in it.  I don't care-as I have already stated, I prefer my red red pretty tail.

She gave me red wattles.  Much like blue platforms are not pink perches, red wattles are not pretty, sassy red tails, are they?  But, this is just for pretend.

OH, OH OH.  I'm a winner.  I won a bidding war on KJ's blog and Emily Rabbit will be getting jelly beans cause she had wayyyy more than 25 comments.  The woman says I am not to bid any more, I liked it so well I kept on bidding and winning over and over again.  It was for a good cause....cause I wanted to WIN!.

Lolo started it all with sending me my own ATC, and soulbrush sent a lovely portrait of ME ME ME.  The woman is going to give me my own section of wall and I will hang my artwork on it.  Or she will.  And I can look, but I must not eat the artwork or even nibble on it.  Or poop on the frames.  BAH.  Rules.

Dogs cannot collect art and dogs do not have CD collections.  They can only listen to MY CD's when I let them.  But don't think I am going to get all snooty and cultured....NO NO NO.  I still like to make farting noises and laugh too loud.  HAW!

HAW-A change of scenery will do YOU good...Me? Not so sure.

The woman is up to something.  She brought in my abduction cage.  I have three cages-a nighty night travel cage, an abduction cage where I am housed when I am abducted so the woman can go away, and my regular cage.

First she sat up a big silver cage on the floor and put a strange furry dog in it.  MY cages, my birdy bird cages, are black.  Always black.  But I like shiny things. Yes yes, and this was a big shiny shiny with a moving blob of fur in it.  So, she got a perch out, and carried me over and I didn't think it was close enough so I FLEW over to the silver cage and walked all over.  HAW-that little fur ball went nuts!  Oh yes.

So, I walked on it some more until the woman made me quit. Hmph.  THEN she brought in my abduction cage (with my travel shiny in it-yes yes yes!).  She put it right by the shiny silver fluff dog cage and told me, ME to be nice.  Nice? I'm always nice.

I wasn't going to like it, but I can see the TV better and watch the fluff dog and see the mail person and the street stuff happen-so FINE.  I will like it.  As long as I get my apples and craps, who cares.  Besides, I can still SEE my other cage.

Today one of the neighbors rang the doorbell, and I yelled "BE QUIET" and he left, and then the woman had to go out and explain it was me.  OH YES....that was fun fun fun.  I am going to yell every time someone comes to the door-I yell at the mail person too.  I like yelling at people even more than yelling at the dogs.

Does she really think I don't see through her clumsy plan to make me forget that in that other cage is a blue platform where my pink perch used to be?  I AM flattered she has gone to all this trouble to make me feel better about the blue platform, even to the fuss and expense of purchasing a small furry animal to amuse me.

But really, does she think I don't KNOW?

HAW-I know all.

HAW-The BIUE perch is still there, I'm coping

Yes, yes yes-it's still there and I'm still sleeping in my green extra food bowl.  Who cares?  I like my pink perch so I throw my food on the floor of my domain and then go down and sit on my pink perch (which used to be up high and I could sleep on it) and eat.  So there.

Do you see me me ME ME ME?  I was offended at all the pictures going up that were NOT ME and the woman made me over in the style of the Great OZ-where his head floats and scares the cowardly lion.  HAW!  That's good-I'd do that too and I'd laugh and say "what's your problem, huh?"

The woman has been nice to me this week.  She let me watch Einstein the pretty little grey girl on her 'puter.  I sat next to her on the bed, and the 'puter sat on her belly and she pushed the buttons to make picture of Einstein come up.

I am not allowed to play on the computer or touch the cords.  I'm not supposed to touch any cords unless they are in my cage, then they are MY CORDS and I can touch them.

The woman has put a funny cage without a top on the floor.  It's gold (eww) and she calls it an ex pen.  She says it's not for me.  I disagree and I like to climb on it.  The Moon was in a cage like that once when he was much much smaller.  Now he's big BIG.  And the Molly is even bigger-but she's still afraid of me and I like it that way.  MY pens, mister bird pens, are black.

The woman did this on purpose (with intention as she says) so that I would always know it's "Ok" to go on a black pen.  Birds are in black pens, dogs never are.

But, she messed up.  The big dogs roughed up their night crages (she calls them crates) and she didn't want to order black ones-so she ordered new matching silver cages.  After she bought and paid for them, she realizes chrome sets off the Moon's OCD-so now she's debating on whether to try to work with it and desensitize or just replace them.  But SHE doesn't like the gold ones (neither do I) and of course they can't be black.

 BLACK belongs to ME ME ME, and you know that color matters to ME.  If she tried to put me in a silver cage, oh no no no.  Not going to happen. Not me, mister bird.

How will this all end?  Frankly, I don't care.  Not my problem.  But isn't it strange, I ask you, that she puts a BLUE platform in my BLACK cage, and suddenly she is besieged and buried in silver, Moondog activating cages?  Hmmmm, it's really best to not mess with Mister Bird, is it?

HAW!

HAW-My Abduction Continues

It wasn't a true abduction I suppose.  I walked into the transport because the woman asked me to.  We'll see if I do THAT again, won't we?

I have made contact with some of the other detainees.  The food here isn't bad, and I have toys.  They do not serve daily apples and craps. Oh no no no.  SEEDS and WATER.  No Toddler Tunes, no opera.  There are strange  beings with fur who do not speak or move a great deal.

One resembles my friend Emily Rabbit, but it does not speak and it does not wear clothes.  I don't like it because it is NOT Emily. NO NO NO.

I can hear parakeets and a macaw in the distance.  In the same room with me is a strange looking African Grey.  We are clearly cousins of some sort-but this beast is timid timid timid.  Not like ME ME ME.  No no no.

I'm trying to make contact, but it's a dull creature.  Popeye, the older grey who lives in the next room told me to be nice.  NICE?  I am nice.  Very very nice.  A good good good birdy bird bird.  Hmph and HAW.

HAW-ALONE ALONE!!!!! I don't like it

The woman left for four days.  She left plenty off food and water, but I did not like it at all.  When she came home, she was tired.  She played, then let me out of my cage and walked down the hall and you know what she DID?  She layed on the big square and fell asleep.  SLEEP.

I played for a bit, then I flew down and made a little nest on the cloth next to her head and I fell asleep too.
She wraps herself up in that cloth sometimes.  I LIKE playing with the cloth and then I noticed something-she has cloth wrapped around her whole BODY.

She pulled up the covering on her legs and there was skin underneath.  THAT's how she changes her coverings every day-they are not attached and she has no feathers.

I also noticed that her hands are not up around her face like I thought they were.  They are on these long stems she called arms-and they go down to her legs.  But she can wiggle her hands when they are down there.....AAAAGH.  I never noticed that before.  She's really built FUNNY-it's a wonder she gets around at all.  Flying is out of the question for her-poor thing.  I thought she was just lazy, but she can't fly!.

She wears rigid coverings on her feet-but they are flat and don't bend at all.  Completely useless for hanging on to a perch.  No wonder she doesn't climb.

Poor woman, she is put together really oddly.

HAW!!!!  I hope you guys can fly and perch!

HAW HAW HAW-I'm Mr. APPLE!

That makes me laugh, to say Mr. APPLE-yes yes yes, me me me, Mister Apple-Bird!  HAW HAW HAW!

The woman said to me the other day "This might be your last outdoor shower for awhile"....WHAT?  What what WHAT?  Has she lost her MIND, huh?

Quiet quiet QUIET.  I have something to say.  HAW, I always have something to say.

I 've been working on my dance moves lately-I'm getting pretty good.  Yes yes yes, I'm a dancin dancin bird.  And oh yes yes yes-I can fly fly fly and my landing is getting really good.  I'm learning to hover and then plop!  That's so much better than crash and burn!  HAW!!!!!!!!!

I hope you all hover more than you crash-Happy Animal Wednesday.

HAW-Hormones/Rain/Whatever

HAW-I am currently very enamored of my shiny toy in my sleep cage.  I alternate days out in the rest of the house with days I refuse to budge-I must guard my shiny thing and whisper sweet nothings to it.  I do not trust the parakeets-they'd take it if they could......I KNOW IT.

The woman fussed at me a bit cause I clicked my beak and bit her a little.  Hmph-then she spent the entire day doing everything BUT coming to see if I was in a better mood yet.  Today I gave in and just let her know I was in a better mood.  I need to take sulky lessons from Emily Rabbit.

The trouble is, I start out sulking, and then I start to talk and then I crack myself up and I can't be sulky.

The woman put on the Redneck Road Tour on the square that Toddler Tunes usually comes on.  I love things where there is a lot of laughing and cheering.  I laughed and laughed for two days.  I like cheering too-lots of noise for me me me.

I was sulking in the back room when the President spoke last week-but I heard, and hollered every time the crowd did.  I bet people would listen to him better if he spoke with a lovely Parrot on his shoulder-I'd really like to have a nibble at those ears!

HAW-HAW-stay dry and watch your shiny things.

HAW !!!!!! Guess What?

The woman moved my sleep cage into her room again-AND she put the parakeets in there too.  So my day starts waking up with her and the noisy parakeets.  THEN she goes outside and lets the dogs out and I play play sing sing talk talk talk.  When I settle down, she comes in and puts me on my perch and I get Toddler tunes!  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

One of my favorite songs is the Cookie Monster song, and when Cookie was singing Cookie Cookie Cookie I forgot the woman was in the room and said "Apple?"  I think Cookie feels about cookies the way I feel about apples.   I love love apples and Cookie loves loves loves his cookies!

When it warms up, I go out to the sun room and yell at the dogs all afternoon.  Then it's back inside.  She usually puts me on top of my sleep cage and then I go inside when I ready to go to sleep.  I'm a big bird, and I like it when I get to decide when it's time for night night.

I hope you all get to go to bed when you want to and get up when you want to!

HAW-Apple Days are Here Again!

I've been dividing my time between my perch in the house and my nice big cage on the sun room. Sometimes I camp out, sometimes I come in to my little sleeping cage in the snake room. I have lots of places to go, and lots of different size perches so that my feet get plenty of exercise.

But, I still love to shred toilet paper cardboard rolls. No no no-I never forget the simple things that make me happy, happy, happy! Someone made me very happy this week, but I can't show you or tell you till next week....HAW! It makes me happy happy happy to tease you bit-like taunting the cat. Oh yes yes yes! That makes the cat soooooo mad. Here-kitty kitty kitty. Then "meow meow meeeeeoooooow". Haw haw haw!



This picture made me laugh a bit-poor bird has to go get his own cheetos! Not me-I just say "apple" and viola, the woman brings me my apple apple apple!

Of course, I usually feel sorry for anyone that isn't ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! But I don't feel sorry for you-because you know me-and that's almost as good as being me! I hope you like being YOU just as much as I like being MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Mister Birdy Birdy Bird!!!! HAW

HAW-Do you wanna go outside? Huh?

The woman is so easily amused.  To make her laugh I just have to look at her and say "Do you wanna go outside?  Huh?"  It must be a wonderful thing to be such a simple creature. 

Today she is going to go look at a boa.  I don't know why she wants a boa, she likes pythons.  She said to me "that's why, I don't know why I don't like boas."  That doesn't make a lot of sense, at least to me.  I, me, me, Mister Birdy Birdy Bird-think that all snakes are rather dull and uninteresting.  They don't make any noise, very little mess-I don't think they have a lot of fun. 

 I'm allowed to yell the snakes all I want because they are deaf, but I cannot go knock on the side of the tank-NO NO NO.  I don't see why not-they can't get to ME ME ME, but the woman says it isn't "nice".  Well, neither is biting the side of the tank.  When I, me, Mister Birdy Birdy Bird, when I am going to bite, I squawk or give a click of my beak to give a person a little warning.  Not those dumb ol' snakes-they sit there all still and then BOOM-right on the side of the tank.  It could give a bird a fright!  And then they go right back to not moving. B-o-r-i-n-g.

Sometimes the Prissy and I come and go on the same trip-me on my perch and Prissy tucked under the woman's arm.  Today I was thinking about giving those big ol' ears a nibble, and the woman said "Now Oliver, she won't like that."  Why should I care, but maybe I should because I'm pretty sure that I got a few extra bite of pop CORN for that.

But seriously, LOOK at those big ears.  Anyway, the Prissy owes me.  The woman forgot she was out and it started raining and thundering.  I took charge and started howling like a dog and then yelled "PRISSY, PRISSY, NIGHT NIGHT"  until the woman went outside and got her.  I do like to keep things in order around here.

HAW-try to stay out of the rain!

HAW-Bath Time for ME ME ME

The woman had the shiny thing out again-but she also had a new squirt squirt bottle and I got my MIST!!!!!! Misting is very important to me-I love it, love it, love it. I'm happy while it's happening and for a long long time afterward. YEEEEEES!

You can tell I'm happy by the happy noises I make-although the woman is pretty noisy too.  I LIKE noise.  Quiet is very unnerving to me, unless I want to sleep, then I want it very very quiet.

The dogs don't like the squirt bottle-the prefer a tub bath to mist.  They don't seem to like it much when I dump MY tub on them....ha hah haaaaaaaaaaaa.  Me, I think it's funny as heck.

I hope someone you love gives you a good squirt today.

HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

Happy Happy Happy HAPPY Animal Wednesday! Wooooooooo! Wooooooooooooo! Woooooooooo!!!!

Doncha just love it? It's MEEEEEEEEEE, me me me me me-Mister Bird, Mister Birdy Birdy Bird! It's so good to be me-and I get to be me every day of my life! I wake up, and LOOK-there I am, still me, still wonderful. Of course, other beings wake up and are NOT me, which might be bad except for the ones I live with-they get to be WITH me, which is second best to being me me me.

The woman bought some cherries this weekend and she made a terrible mistake. She brought the box out with her so she could put the pits in it (I can't eat pits). But all the furry dogs saw it, and they wanted some too. They can't eat pits either, so she had to stand there and pit her good good cherries for me me me and the dogs. HAW!

I like it when we all stand around eating the same thing. Of course, I also like it when I get to eat something no one else does. Yes yes yes. Dogs don't get craps.....heh heh! All for me me me!

The weather has been so nice sometimes I stay out all day and all night-I don't even come in for Toddler Tunes. I've been whistling a lot-sometimes I can hear the Macaw down the street. The woman says if I start to shriek I have to come in-so I don't shriek. I don't NEED to shriek. If I need to exclaim, I say "Good LORD! Lordy Lordy Lord" I don't need to squawk. If something startles me I say "Huh?"

Ha ha ha! It's so much fun to be me. I wish you could all be me for just a minute or two. Yes, I would share but only for a minute-then it's back to being ME ME ME!

The woman had a shiny thing she kept holding up between us. I don't understand that at all. We usually just have as stick for me to stand on. We'll have to see about THAT.

HAW ICE ICE BABY!

We had something called a cool front come through the other day-that meant it only got to 90 degrees and I got to stay outside ALL day.  OOOOOOOH-it's so much fun to yell at the dogs when they try to sleep.  A lot goes on and there is a lot for me to comment on.

The woman figured out her mistake in putting the new freezer on the sunporch-when she came trudging in with ice for the BBQ she had numerous sets of eyes on her, all begging for ice.  So, of course she shared.  She's good about sharing.  ME me me....not so much.

Since I've moved outside, the Moon and the Molly have learned about popsicles-so we pretty much have one every morning.  They can't hold their because their feet don't work right (even though there are four of them), so the woman holds it for them.  The Molly licks when it's her turn, but the Moon has learned to CHOMP and get a big old bite.  The little ones don't seem to understand-so the woman freezes broth for them and they can lick it off the ground.

 The parakeets are too little and dull to eat ice-the woman even has to chop their apple up-silly helpless birds.  Their only redeeming point is that they shiver in fear  and awe when I parade by on my stick on the way out to MY OUTSIDE digs-which of course they don't have because they are silly little helpless things.

Last summer the only peppers that did well were the hot ones-all for ME ME ME Mister BIRD!  This year they are slow, and I don't like the mild ones, so the woman bought me some dried ones.  But I saw her-she used some of them in something called chili-so not ALL for me me me.

AND THEN SHE DID IT....yes yes yes.  I saw her do it-she opened the white box and used the LAST of the shredded cheese on the chili.  MINE MINE MINE.  I was so mad.  CHEESE CHEESE!!!!!  What kind of person eats the last of a bird's good good cheese.  Now there is no yellow shredded cheese for me, ME ME!!!!!

Next thing you know, she'll be eating my craps or offering them to the Molly and the Moon.  Hmph.  In fact, she DID give them blueberries and bites of apple -I SAW IT.  I didn't say anything because I was too busy eating my my MY blueberry, but oh yes, I saw it.

I hope you have a Great and Happy Animal Wednesday, and I hope nobody eats your cheese and you get plenty of ice and craps!

HAW-let the good times roll

Helllllloooooooo! I KNEW something was up when the woman put me into my little night cage. (Wow, that one python really got BIG-glad he's locked in). But, I got a nice surprise the next morning-she'd cleaned my big cage and moved it out to the sunroom, she says "for the summer". I like it out there-it's warm (that woman keeps the house cold in the summer, silly) and I can fuss at the Moon and his friends.

THEN I saw it-the MOLLY was playing in a big tub of water, bigger bigger bigger than anything I ever had. Hmph. So, the woman got the mister bottle and I got lots of squirt squirt squirts. I was wet and warm and so happy-but I think she should move the dogs out of the sunroom so I can have a big pool like the Molly has.

Don't worry, I still have my stand in the living room so I can get my daily dose of toddler tunes. I can see the parakeets too-but the woman decided they are too small (the woman calls them "inviting targets") so they just got to move closer to the window. They pretty much live in their own little world, focusing on each other. BORING. BORING. BORING.

I like "the summer". It seems like a very good idea, maybe they thought of it just for ME ME ME.....Mister Birdy,Birdy Bird!

HAW!

NOTE from the Woman: I gave Oliver a big bowl of water to swim in and instead he dumped it on the dog's head. But, I will say, he thoroughly enjoyed that dunking-the dog, well, he got over it.

HAW-I'm rollin in CRAPS!

Oh yes yes yes-the woman got a bag of purple craps and I've been eating craps craps craps apple apple APPLE and something called a cashew. I love cashews, but she doles them out one by one-said I'll become fat if I eat too many.

When she opened the white box today I saw a jar of egg yolks in there-so I bet those will be coming soon-egg egg egg!

Yesterday morning the Prissy woke up to early and was whining. I told her QUIET PRISSY! and I heard the woman giggle. I don't see what's so funny-there are rules to follow. I wake up first and I announce when it's time for everyone to get up. First I have to warm up with words I'm practicing on, then I holler at the kitty and mock her a bit. Prissy is supposed to just wait quietly till the woman comes.

When the Prissy wouldn't be quiet, I mocked her too-whine whine whine....THAT shut her up fast. She really hates it that I can talk like a human and a bird and a dog too (and a cat, and a phone and well, anything). Jealous. She's jealous. And she doesn't get craps either. HAH-only Mister Bird gets good good craps.

Oh-the woman got something out of the fridge and she said it was an OLIVE! Isn't that funny they'd name a food after me me me?

Happy Animal Wednesday! Oh, the woman said she got something called a Mustang, but will wait to show pictures of it later. IT's MY DAY-ME ME ME. Mister Birdy Birdy Bird. HAW!

HAW and send me some CRAPS

The woman has been under the weather for the past few days and we are out of CRAPS. She said she'll go to the store this afternoon-she'd better. Life must go on, and I must have my craps. You humans call it priorities.

HAW!!!!!