Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm all righ

Little ground hog dancing scene from Caddy Shack.  Storms to the north of me-storms to the south-nothing in the middle with me.  Whoops-didn't get me did you Mother Nature?  Not this kitty.

It is considered poor form to gloat if your house didn't get blown away because someone else's did-but oh yeah-safe again.  Really does celebrating MY good fortune have to mean I'm happy about your misfortune?   Those storms were a nasty business but not only am I extremely GRATEFUL that I didn't get hit-I'm pretty stinking happy about it too.

I think sometimes we get bogged down in the frightful spectacle of what could have happened, and what did happen to other people-and forget to do the happy dance for the fact it didn't happen to us.  Not me-I'm happy.  I bet there would be less PSTD in the world if people would focus not on the what almost happened but on the DIDN'T part.

I also think people who are suffering from "survivor's guilt" are looking for control they don't have and will never have.  You don't get to choose which house the twister drops on-so if you are feeling guilty I think you need to get over yourself and go out and help someone who did get hit.

The Non-Native Okies are particularly shook up.  My advice is if you are going to live here the sooner you learn to cope with it the better.  The weather is not going to change.  Well, that isn't true-in Oklahoma it changes every few minutes.

I'm not mocking Mother Nature either-Death always wins in the end-I'm just celebrating my temporary victory....wooo hooooo hoooo!


Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Day Off

I've been going balls to the wall since before I left for Missouri and my body just aches all over.  It's all been fun-well most of it, but I am sitting today out-at least trying to stay on the computer and avoid heavy lifting, running, etc.  We'll see how that goes.

I think that's part of life-learning to balance between working hard AND resting...both are valid activities-but no one slaps you on the back for resting.  Maybe they SHOULD.  We should all approve when someone says "I'm resting today".

I bought myself a python for mother's day.  He's currently in the "ignore him and let him get used to new surroundings" phase of things.  It's hard to do, and boring-but it means he'll eat well and set up for a good life (barring virus's, power outages etc).  I said never again after the last virus outbreak-but life is just like that.  Things don't always work out.

Life with animals is really like that.  I'm never going to get happy with the death of an animal but I think I've reached the point where it doesn't cripple me like it used to.  I grieve freely and move on-no sense in letting grief get in the way of an otherwise good day.

I know part of my activity  burst is my way of dealing with the daughter/granddaughter thing (no news, I've been duped again, oh well).  I'm ok with that as long as it doesn't get over the top and is basically good productive activity.  I think the difference between manic behavior and good old fashioned avoidance is a matter of degree. 

I'll be the first to admit I've used upset in the past as an oh what the hell excuse to do something hair brained I've actually been contemplating for a long time.   I'm still up for hair brained occasionally-I think we all need to scratch that wild hair sometimes.  But not today.  Today I just want to put my feet up and sip coffee.

I really want to journey to P-town again.  I missed going to Sedona for two weeks because my father was ill-but for some reason I have no desire to try to do that again right now.  The moment has passed and I need ocean not cactus.  It's not likely to happen this year though-I want summer ocean and I'm not able to journey much more than I've already planned.

Mom and Dad went to California alone and it was good for us both.  They are in the awkward stage of really needing someone around, but not all the time.  As the "someone" it's kind of a thankless task-since no one even acknowledges it. 

For awhile I let that be my role in life-perpetual helper-and I will always be that for my parents.  I have decided everyone else needs to at least acknowledge my efforts or I will quietly go find someone who will.  For my part, I always say thank you, and usually more than once when someone helps me out.

This is a pretty low energy post-remember-I'm resting today.  

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Missouri and weird weather

Solo and I went to Missouri for four days with a friend and her border collie for a border collie seminar.  We had great fun and learned a lot-first vacation type thing I have had in over a year.  I savored every moment.

Yesterday, home again, I worked at an agility trial for the Irish Setter National Specialty.   I started out freezing cold, shivering and miserable and ended the day with fewer clothes and uncomfortably hot.  That's Oklahoma weather for you.  I still haven't planted the garden because we shoot up to the nineties and then down to near freezing again.  My garden will be late but I'd rather plant it just one time-and really-there is NO deadline.

I missed my moleskinne art project deadline-oh well.  The things I did instead of doing that were at the time more important and mostly related to helping other people out.  I am learning to realize sometimes missed deadlines ARE a choice, but if I am ok with the choice I need not beat myself up about it.

I am much better about saying "no" in general-but I am not going to not help someone who is injured or ill because I need to write in my moleskinne for an art project.  I vaguely believe that good deeds come back to you in a good way-so maybe my next project will be really awesome or something.

My body is pretty tired though-I was tired when I left for Missouri, tired when I came home and I'm tired today.  BUT I'm meeting someone to work with their border collie puppy so I guess I will rest tomorrow.  At least I'm sleeping well and the weather has been so bizarre I've skipped my usual spring insomnia.

I always find a silver lining-and I'm ok with that.