Friday, September 28, 2007

Pause

So, I'm sitting here venting off blog to Michele, and I have a vision of myself in the wilderness. No signs in the wilderness. How do you know you are on the right path? Sometimes your heart is treacherous and tells you what you want to hear-and I have led myself astray many times.

I'm trying to listen to my heart. And it is telling me I'm on the right path, but still searching. I guess it's like the stretch of I:35 between Ardmore and Gainesville-you gotta travel it to get to Dallas, but there isn't much there. I actually LIKE that stretch because there isn't anything there-I do my best thinking there and in the shower.

I think today's lesson for me is going to be all about not carrying the weight of other people's expectations. BTW-that is going on a T-shirt in my new line-I really like that phrase.

Another image flowing through my mind is that of the harvest-it's time for some of these great ideas/impulses to bear fruit. That is where patience comes in, and maybe a littl faith.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was a great achiever of things. Only, the things I achieved weren't what I set out to achieve-I just got money, insurance and a certain amount of status. I do want to rise again, but this time I want to achieve something that is real and has value to society or at least to more than a few fat execs.

I was valuable to the execs because I really believed in what I was doing at the time. Right now I'm not valuable to anyone because I don't have a clue what I'm doing. And it's hard and more than a little scarey. But I'm going to keep on doing it, because my heart of hearts is telling me this is the right path.

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