I was talking with Mom about what I should say to the residents where John used to live. I knew some of them, had T-giving dinner with them. She wondered why I needed to say anything.
I could see the walls she had thrown up shutting "those people" out. It's what people do to avoid things that are unpleasant. It's also what serial killers do to their victims-they are no longer human.
But I will go visit with a few of them, let them know John is moving, etc. They've seen it all before. But I feel like I want to say goodbye and wish them well. I would not be a very good serial killer.
Mom was also peeved cause I refered to her as a little old okie. Age is such a touchy thing around our houses these days.
For some reason I have my own walls-Mom's darts no longer sting. But I still see her as a human being, because I built myself up rather than dehumanized her. A fortress can keep you warm or it can keep you a prisoner, it's all in how you build it.
4 comments:
You've got alot on your plate my dear, these are tough decisions you have to make, but you are so in touch with your own human-ness that it is refreshing to read your posts. (I hope that makes sense). good luck with everything.
I think the people at John's old place will really appreciate a visit from you and getting the scoop on John's new home. It will help them feel included and don't we all want that?
You are a blessed reminder, DK.
Thank you.
Mim, I'm glad to hear from you. Michele, I agree-we all want to be a part of things-or even just to be noticed. Switchsky, I write saner than I really am. I'm still working on how many windows and doors my fortress needs and what the appropriate "closed" signs are. But for me, it's a huge step to realize that I can put those signs up-closed for business come back later when I'm sane and feel like company.
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