I decided that I'd just go back to a 9-5 job, a real one, I mean really 9-5, not an 80 hour a week position. I put the dogs out, make some cold press coffee (heaven, let me tell you) and then flip on the news while I fire up the PC to job hunt.
And there is a story on Good Morning America about a girl who one a student academy award for an animated film...and how she always felt different, people made fun of her....and that people like that (me) should just keep on searching and being different.
Furthermore, I don't watch GMA as general rule, or any TV in the morning. I AM watching more news shows because it's an election year, but I don't think Hilary or Barack is sending me a message via GMA.
And really, this is what I DO-this is what I always DO. Just wake up one morning and decide how it's going to be and make it that way. I always run back to the easy schmeezy (not really) corporate crap that I hate. I really do hate it. Loathe it. Despise it. And, I despise myself for being good at it. Corporate america is like chocolate, not really good for me, but easy and kind of comforting.
As a SOX Compliance Manager, (Hah sounds important) I really and truly, with stars in my eyes believed I was going to out there and fight fraud, make our economy more productive and do some good. What I was, in fact, was a little beaurocrat with surveys and studies, and pats on the back and threats, but no real power. Essentially, I became what I hated the most.
But then I became something else, right? So, as FY says, no regrets. Move on. If, I jumped back into something I knew was not a good fit, well, obviously I haven't learned my lesson yet. But I really have. Better to be a failure in heaven than a success in hell.
Ok, so this isn't quite heaven yet. But I'm working on it.