I was born in 1960, and as this is 2009, in November I will be 49. (Do you see where this is heading?) So, in 2010 I will turn 50. There, I said it.
I've always thought I'd do something to mark the event. At 30, I had a lobster dinner at a friend's house with black napkins, etc. 40 I barely noticed (but my staff brought me a German Chocolate Cake and trashed my office). 50 feels like something I need to orchestrate myself.
So, I need to decide what I want to do, and make it happen, but I'm confused about when it should happen. I'm pretty sure that I will choose swimming with the Great White Shark. I can do the less expensive package off the Farallons, it's one day thing, and my birthday is in the middle of "shark season". But, I'm also thinking of doing the weeklong packaged from San Diego to Guadalupe-that's a summertime thing, but the water is warmer and clearer. So, would I do it summer 2010 or summer 2011? I'm totally not sure about that one.
Or, do I say screw it, book a day trip to the Farrallon's this fall, with the plan to go to Guadalupe the following year if I come up empty handed? I've been working on upper body strength, because other than appearing in a wet suit in public, not being able to haul out of the cage quickly is my biggest fear. Face to face with the shark, no problem, turning my back on it and dangling my legs in the water while I crawl out-nightmare city.
There are other shark tours to be sure, but if I do one, I want to go straight to the one of my heart-my beautiful Great Whites.
I thought maybe Casper would soothe that savage beast, but loving one thing doesn't mean you can't love another too. I've never been happy when I felt like I had to choose one or the other. (Strangely enough, I've never been promiscuous either.)
Hmmm, maybe I should take up promiscuity for my 50th year....Ha ha. Not.
I thought about making a list, ala Soulbrush, but 50 things before 50 seems like a huge task. But, I could break it down into different categories-like emotionally hard but inexpensive, fun but expensive (GW shark), good for the soul, but inexpensive....I will give that some more thought as well. Might be fun to "countdown" to the big day. It's starting to be a "looming thing" so tacking it head on and publicly might be just the ticket. Soul is a pretty smart cookie, but we knew that.
I've mentioned it in passing, but this is the first time I've ever really sat and thought about the big 5-0. Part of me thinks it's silly to even think about it at all, but I don't want to find out later I spent far too long leading up to it dreading it when a little forethought and action could have made it all right.
8 comments:
We attach such importance to numbers - it's silly and really doesn't mean a thing, but I know exactly how you feel. I wanted a BIG surprise party for my 50th. I wanted everyone I know and my nieces and nephews and cousins. I hinted until I was blue in the face. And because I hinted so much and was so obvious about it...I got a weekend away in Maine where we kayaked in a fiord and biked on the trails and stayed in a B&B. Go figure. I was so mad that it actually took the sting out of turning 50.
So maybe you could do that - plan something, have it fall thru, get mad about it, and simply forget turning 50.
Worked for me....
Turning 50 doesn't hurt. My vote is to just ignore the number and date and start celebrating life. Go do the cheap trip this summer and do the other trip the following summer. Just do it. You never know what "next" summer will bring. Heck you don't know what the next hour will bring. A very Merry Unbirthday to you.
I remember being very excited about turning fifty. I felt priveledged somehow. Maybe because I had survived so many things that I shouldn't have.
I had a beautiful party outdoors on my friend's ranch. I asked that the gifts be something that nourishes me in some way. They were all wonderful. The most nourishing gift though was that my friends wanted to celebrate me.
I say don't wait until you're fifty to do the things that speak to you.
Go swim with the sharks on your 49th! That will make turning 50 look much easier ;)
I was so disappointed the morning of my 40th when I woke up completely unchanged. I have no expectations for 50, other than that I do take in life expectancy for animals now-no giant tortoises for me.
I knew if I posted this you guys would come to my aid with wise counsel-you always do.
For me, turning 30 was the worst birthday. Now I wish I could be turning 30 again.
But I did find out that the anticipation hurts worse than the actual day.
yes 30 was definitely the worst, 40 was so-so, 50 i was sitting on the top of table mountain after having my first tattoo....all my choice and my doing, my decision, my fun....and that was radical!!! do it, got for it, whatever it is, do the countdown, do the 50 before 50, or 20 before 50 or even 10 before 50...ten things you want to/must do/will try to do. it is such fun and so invigorating..plllleeeeeeeeeeese do it. and what about we have a big big bloggers bash at that retreat of yours and lolo (of course at discounted prices)????
My friend Flo bought a motorcycle-smaller than the one I bought, and I'm sooooo jealous-to the point of thinking of getting one and stashing it in her garage....LOL. But that would take away from Casper time.
I bought a bareback pad and am going to give "natural horsemanship" a go-at least in the arena. Maybe by the time I'm 50 I can gallop Casper barefoot and barebacked, bridleless and naked on the beach. (That is a dream of someone else I know-her horse, not mine). Then I can leap off my horse, into a waiting boat, and swim naked with the Great White Shark who is waiting off shore.
Truthfully, I'd feel better about being naked than being in a wet suit, but not in California waters. But naked horseback riding makes me shudder at the thought-wayyyy to much jiggle for that. I didn't even like it when I was a kid and had very little jiggle.
I love your Greta and Emma fantasy!! I'm all over it :)
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