Monday, March 17, 2008

Insight

I was blabbering on about health goals vs. weight goals on a site where I offer support, and suddenly WHAM, I actually heard what I was saying-but in a larger context.

Goals are just one more thing we use to try to control things in our lives. Only like religion, or politics or anything else, sometimes the form, the rules, the DOING takes over the true meaning of what we were trying to accomplish in the first place.

When I went to Grad school I yakked about "practicing goalessness" but my own ego was caught up in the coolness of how that sounded, so I never really did it. I always wanted that fame or fortune. That really no longer appeals to me, but as a writer and quasi artist, I do crave the connection that comes from writing or art.

I do think we need goals as well as boundaries and limitations to function in today's world or any world for that matter. But I wonder how much of what we do really holds us back?

Is there anything in our lives we really couldn't do without? Most of what we have will pass anyway in time.

Dottie is dozing in my arms while I type this. (Fortunately she's very small). But there was a time in my life when I was truly convinced that if she were to pass, I would follow, because I couldn't imagine wanting to be in a world without Dottie. Now I have a whole pack of dogs I love, and I think Dottie is happier being the queen of the pack rather than the focus of my world.

And I know, that one day she will pass from this form, but I also know that she will go on-because we have always been together and always will be.

In the face of the eternal, what is one goal, no matter how big a goal that is? No more or no less than one dog.

I'm finally beginning to realize how my legendary Scorpio focus can hurt as well as help.

11 comments:

Fern said...

talk about java jolt!

Forever Young said...

sometimes i find that goals put a lot of pressure on me.... a day without goals is a good day.

Mim said...

Not really sure what this all means, but I stand behind ya, Deb!

RED MOJO said...

This sounds like an actual epiphany. I've had this happen to me twice. A true moment of complete big picture clarity that wakes you up and suddenly, it's so clear, so obvious. That's a great feeling, and hard to describe to someone.

kj said...

i substituted the word "preferences" for goals and that has lightened things up quite a bit. i still go for it, but it's not the "suceed/fail" that a goal connotates....

Debra Kay said...

I think it's the whole pass fail mentality that really messes up our heads-if I can't do it perfectly, I don't want to do it all, so nothing ever gets done.

I think you should always do your best, and that should always be good enough.

Anonymous said...

Red Mojo is right, that's called an epiphany! I think everything you do is for a better reason later ;)

Michele said...

I really like that ... goals are just one more way for us to try to control our lives. It's so true. Maybe that's what the surrender to our stuckness is all about. I've kinda of finally given up on the condo issue. I can't do anything more than I'm doing to sell it so it's out of my control. No need to worry about it anymore. Not there with wanting to have another child yet but maybe I'll get there. We can't control everything.

Debra Kay said...

I used to say "i had an epiphany" all the time at work, but one day I said "I had an epiphany while sitting on the toilet" and my boss thought that was funny. So then on, in meetings, no matter who was in them, when I had an idea he'd say something like "did you think of that on the toilet?" At least it lightened the mood a lot.

Fern said...

sometimes my eyes/mind plays tricks on me and I thought you'd written,

"I will remain stuck until I surrender my suitcase."

haha that works too..

Fern said...

ooops and sometimes I write comments in the wrong comment box.

I meant that one to go on your post called "SURRENDER" (below)