I was listening to "The Power of Now" by Eckardt Tolle on audiobooks. I really love the whole audiobook thing by the way. Focus...I was listening to the Power of Now as I lay in bed and suddenly a feeling came over me. Hot and clammy and shaking. I started to get a little excited, believing that this was IT, the Cosmic Orgasm where I become enlightened.
Sadly, I soon realized it was a hot flash, and that I hadn't taken any estrogen since falling ill and puking up anything that I put down my throat. Worse, I was out of the cream the doctor gave me as a premarin alternative, so muttering an "I'm sorry" to the nameless mares I took some premarin.
It was an enlightenment of sorts. It does explain the funk I have been unable to shake, despite being on a full dose of Prozac again.
This is the second time a hot flash has overtaken me in a somewhat spiritual moment. The first was at a Catholic Mass. I tried to join the church, but apparently arguing with the parish priest about sex and marriage is not viewed with pleasure. I've often wondered if some of those middle aged evangelical types are mistaking hormones for the hand of God.
What if the witches of Salem where just suffering from early menopause or Polycystic Ovaries or something of that nature?
Our bodies are deep mysteries even today when we know so much about them. We are so quick to blame events on deities or supernatural things, yet orgasms, hot flashes, giving birth-these are all powerful experiences unto themselves. For that matter, so is a good meal or a good dump.
I'm watching the cat snooze on her shelf (the one she knocked all the stuff off of and claimed) in the sun. She doesn't sit and marvel at the atomic forces that bring the heat down from all that distance, she just enjoys the sun. And she may be closer to God that I am.