There is NOT an alien in my chest, but....

....part of my belly is in my throat-and that feels almost the same. My diaphragm is being corn holed by my stomach, and the bit of stomach that's up in my esophagus is not happy about being there.

Medical version: I have a stomach prolapse caused by a hernia blow out. I don't think blow out is medical, but rupture doesn't seem right either. So, the month's long answer to the mystery of why I can't keep anything down is solved.

And I will say-YAY for that, because it's a very annoying thing not to be able to hold your water. There is an alternate method for staying hydrated via the "water retention enema" and I will continue as long as I can stand it, the go for an IV hook up if I can't hold out till next Wednesday-surgery day.

They'll go in (after putting me out) and pull the stomach back where it belongs, stitch my diaphragm back better than ever an able to withstand hurricane force winds. Then they'll evaluate my lap band-I've said use your own judgement with this criteria-if it needs to be repositioned, go for it if all looks well. If it has suffered too much twisting around or erosion, just pull it out, no replacements. I'd like to keep it if I can, but I don't want to fiddle with my stomach any more for a bit.

The family has already begun to try to assign blame-but I knew about the hernia before I had the lap band, we've discussed repair before. And, no one really knows if it was the hernia that caused all the vomiting or the lap band caused it and made the hernia worse, blew it out, and caused more vomiting. No one knows and I for one don't give a rat's ass-just FIX IT.


My big dogs are going to be treated to 2 week boarding school. It's an extravagance I was considering anyway, and if I don't do it, they'll need it after being kenneled for so long. The little kids will just go down the street and I can bring them home as I see fit and as I heal. I've managed Greta and Cody before on one leg-so I doubt a hernia will slow us down much. The Slim formerly known as Oliver can be a handful-but there isn't much grief he can give me in a tightly locked yard. Prissy can be a shit when she senses physical weakness, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve that she hasn't seen yet.

Mr. Bird and his raggedy crew won't notice anything at all and I'll just feed the snakes well right before surgery and they'll be good till I'm up and around.

Casper is happy with just visits, but I may find someone to work him (while I watch) because I hate to lose the ground we've gained. He's a good boy, and I love to take him for walks, but a 1200 pound horse can put quite a tug on new stitches even just playing. So I'm trying to work out what I can do, so that the trainer does the heavy stuff, then I finish up with brushing or something like that so we don't lose our bond.

Dr. Nelson is good but cautious (which makes her good) so I'm looking at water/thin liquids until next week, then for two weeks after. I KNEW all that powdered goat milk would come in handy-and so it will!

Never fear, Mr. Mr. Birdy Birdy will not miss his day-but we are going to have to work out a Toddler Tunes rotation schedule that works for both of us. I'm setting up a little ATC workstation/tub that I can get to easily-what a fun thing to do when you can't move around very well.

Oh-and I want you to know the egg woman down the street is back to tossing the yolks, so all is well in birdyville.