Friday, May 29, 2009

There is NOT an alien in my chest, but....

....part of my belly is in my throat-and that feels almost the same. My diaphragm is being corn holed by my stomach, and the bit of stomach that's up in my esophagus is not happy about being there.

Medical version: I have a stomach prolapse caused by a hernia blow out. I don't think blow out is medical, but rupture doesn't seem right either. So, the month's long answer to the mystery of why I can't keep anything down is solved.

And I will say-YAY for that, because it's a very annoying thing not to be able to hold your water. There is an alternate method for staying hydrated via the "water retention enema" and I will continue as long as I can stand it, the go for an IV hook up if I can't hold out till next Wednesday-surgery day.

They'll go in (after putting me out) and pull the stomach back where it belongs, stitch my diaphragm back better than ever an able to withstand hurricane force winds. Then they'll evaluate my lap band-I've said use your own judgement with this criteria-if it needs to be repositioned, go for it if all looks well. If it has suffered too much twisting around or erosion, just pull it out, no replacements. I'd like to keep it if I can, but I don't want to fiddle with my stomach any more for a bit.

The family has already begun to try to assign blame-but I knew about the hernia before I had the lap band, we've discussed repair before. And, no one really knows if it was the hernia that caused all the vomiting or the lap band caused it and made the hernia worse, blew it out, and caused more vomiting. No one knows and I for one don't give a rat's ass-just FIX IT.

My big dogs are going to be treated to 2 week boarding school. It's an extravagance I was considering anyway, and if I don't do it, they'll need it after being kenneled for so long. The little kids will just go down the street and I can bring them home as I see fit and as I heal. I've managed Greta and Cody before on one leg-so I doubt a hernia will slow us down much. The Slim formerly known as Oliver can be a handful-but there isn't much grief he can give me in a tightly locked yard. Prissy can be a shit when she senses physical weakness, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve that she hasn't seen yet.

Mr. Bird and his raggedy crew won't notice anything at all and I'll just feed the snakes well right before surgery and they'll be good till I'm up and around.

Casper is happy with just visits, but I may find someone to work him (while I watch) because I hate to lose the ground we've gained. He's a good boy, and I love to take him for walks, but a 1200 pound horse can put quite a tug on new stitches even just playing. So I'm trying to work out what I can do, so that the trainer does the heavy stuff, then I finish up with brushing or something like that so we don't lose our bond.

Dr. Nelson is good but cautious (which makes her good) so I'm looking at water/thin liquids until next week, then for two weeks after. I KNEW all that powdered goat milk would come in handy-and so it will!

Never fear, Mr. Mr. Birdy Birdy will not miss his day-but we are going to have to work out a Toddler Tunes rotation schedule that works for both of us. I'm setting up a little ATC workstation/tub that I can get to easily-what a fun thing to do when you can't move around very well.

Oh-and I want you to know the egg woman down the street is back to tossing the yolks, so all is well in birdyville.


Mim said...

I've been worrying..and am glad to hear that you have it settled as to what is going on and what you have to do. Yup...fix it is the right thing to say. I know I can't do much from far away but will be thinking of you LOTS and sending wishes and maybe soup your way.

Take good....

studio lolo said...

As sick as you were I'm not surprised to hear it was a hernia.
A friend of mine just had a hernia repair and she hadn't been to a doctor in twenty years! She was feeling mighty sick in the tummy though and knew something was bad.
The good news is my hubby had just had a hernia repair by one of the best docs around. In fact he's so good that all he does is hernias now. He uses mesh. Ask about that method okay? Apparantly it never needs re-doing.

I'll be thinking of you. Maybe you'll need some snail mail to cheer you up ;P

Thanks for keeping us posted!

Debra Kay said...

I don't think they can mesh the diaphragm-it's a hole that is supposed to be there.

Fixing the prolapse part is going to alleviate 99 percent of the symptoms. It presses the diaphragm on the vagus nerve-which is a serous bastard of a nerve. Push here, sudden vomiting-no warning. Push there-uhhh, where did my right leg go? Ah, there it is, now what happened to my left buttock. (Really fun when you happen to be walking).

Drink some water causes the esophagus and diaphragm to spasm-with a variety of results.

I laugh about it now because I understand what is causing it, and I know when it will stop. Not knowing why all of the sudden individual body parts take off on their own is a very scary thing.

And for someone like me, who prides herself on a stiff upper lip, saying "I'm fine really" and then loosing balance is just, well, awful-and not pleasant for concerned bystanders. Not even going to diss on them, because off balance or dizzy people freak me out too.

I'm focusing today on trying to find ways to enjoy the vertigo-as long as I can get into a position that doesn't hurt my wayward tummy and I'm in no danger of falling-I can relax and just go with it (unless I have to puke)

During one of my "magical mystery tours" it came to me that it isn't SICK-DIAGNOSIS-SUDDEN WELLNESS TO PREPARE-SURGERY THEN RECOVERY but rather SICK-DIAGNOSIS-MORE SICK-SURGERY-RECOVERY.

I'm a regular Einstein.

soulbrush said...

oh shite, i had no idea that things were that bad with the tummy...i am off to see a specialist about my voice/acid regurgitation, as my voice is now prepetually husky and the acid burns me up....shite....oh debs,know things will go well for you, and what the fuck is the pint of blame?? tell them to KMFA.

Debra Kay said...

Soul-if they tell you you have a hernia, please get it repaired. That's a very common cause of your problem, and trust me, you don't want your stomach to go walk about.

We can have sister hernias!

kj said...

i could say a full litany of swear words here, debra kay. you write like a trooper, but no doubt this sucks. is there anything i can do to cheer you up? my skills are limited but i could write you a poem or a story, or take pictures for you. really, can i contribute to your more sick/surgery/recovery?

btw, i've given up wondering if blog friendship is for real. it is. so like suki you've got strong arms around you. ask for anything...


Debra Kay said...

Ohhh kj, please write a story for me about when Emily Rabbit tried to sneak into a Janis Joplin concert. I know that girl has some stories to tell she hasn't coughed up yet. That would make me really happy (and most likely anyone else who reads it too!)

kj said...

okay, for you, i'm working on it...


soulbrush said...

hey debs a hernia is worth it if i can be your sister.

Debra Kay said...

You are already my sister.