Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Ah, it's that time again, Kiss My Ass Thursday!

People who fart on planes-KMAT. You are excused (grudgingly) if you only found out about the flight 24 hours in advance. But really, if you KNEW, and you still ate at On The Border, or worse, are bringing it On The Plane-Kiss my ass.

People who bitch and moan about weather delays and blame it on the airlines, loudly, KISS MY ASS. I'll be honest, this includes some family members but granola crapola, if the airlines can't control their own bottom line, I seriously doubt that they can control the weather. Ironically, the people who were getting the most out of line and declaring "I'll never fly this airline again" are the infrequent fliers the airlines WANT to piss off, which I found kind of sickly amusing, so maybe the kvetching is a good thing, but nonetheless, jolly well pucker up and KMA.

People who cry and carry on IN LINE over the cell phone, can really KMA. If you are THAT upset, go somewhere else and piss and moan. And Bluetooth users in grocery stores, Kiss My Ass. The ones who talk really LOUD and are expressive and stuff, Kiss My Ass Twice. Here I am, in some dollar store, contemplating all the wonderful things I can have for one dollar, and some Amazon woman with Big Hair comes zooming around the corner carrying on and having a big old fit and scares the crap out of my reverie, passes me by shrieking-and never even knows I was there or that she startled me. If you are hovering somewhere in the intersection of the virtual world and the real world, keep your eye on both, or Kiss My Ass.

I'd like to creep up on those people while they were in the bathtub and yell loudly "DON'T MIND ME OR MY NOISE, I'M ON THE CELL PHONE SO I'M NOT REALLY HERE". Since that would involve several larcenies and maybe some felonies, I'll just soothe my disgruntled self by mumbling Kiss My Ass one more time.

I've begun to have KMAT fantasies-visions of really yelling "Kiss My Ass" at very rude people. You can have them too, but to be a legitimate Kiss My Ass Moment, the recipient of the yell must encroach upon your space or psyche in a very rude and deliberate way. You can't just go yelling Kiss My Ass at everyone-it would lose its power to shock. Well, that's not entirely true. Yelling "Kiss My Ass" at the little old lady taking her dog for a walk would be shocking, but so rude that then she would be completely justified in giving you a KMA right back. Oh Kiss My Ass and make your own rules.


Lisa at Greenbow said...

People with their cell phone conversations being carried on in public is a very irritating rude thing. UGH...

soulbrush said...

on kmat, i wanna say....shit i don't know what i wanna say...it's gone from my head....oh well, i'm having a 'senior moment' and will have to come back later i'll be back...............

studio lolo said...

I haven't been up long enough to tell anyone to KMA yet. Give me time!
Yeah, cellphones. Once when my husband was stopped at a red light that turned green, the lady in front of him didn't move. He waited a reasonable amount of time and gave her a half-toot just to let her know the light had changed. She held up the phone and glared at him shouting "I'M ON THE PHONE!!!" He yelled back stating that was his point EXACTLY. Moron.
I think he said more than KMA :)

Were you at Phil's in Moss Landing?? That's only about 45 minutes from me and I would have run to meet you in a nanosecond!!
You were probably in SF.
Let's hear about the trip!

Debra Kay said...

LOL-I was in Fairfield looking at the menu my cousin's brought back from Moss Landing. I'm so easily pleased.

I did note that they ship soup. I'm having some eating issues right now, but when it's back on the menu, I may indulge.

Michele said...

OMG: the peeps on those headsets totally drive me crazy. I always find myself looking up and saying "what?" they they are talking to me and then I realize the idiots are on their cell phone and don't have a clue that the real world exist around them.

kj said...

here i am lounging at the pool, unwinding from work, and some guy is loudmouthing on his cell phone talking about, you guessed it!--work. hey, i said to him, i'm trying to get away from my own work and i sure as hell don't want to listen about yours.

he huffed and puffed but then he thankfully moved away. it amazes me that people don't get it about cell phones.

kma! i can just hear you, debra kay!


yoon see said...

Happy Cactus Monday Debra:)

studio lolo said...

I bought the funniest card for you today!!
It's SO you...it killed me.

I'll mail it tomorrow. It's really a birthday card but I always buy cards for the images and cover up the words.
They can KMA :P