No matter what I did to shake the blues today, I kept coming up against something or another. The worst was when I took the big dogs to the kennel a day early.
I want to work with Priss and Lily who are having issues, so I took the big uns in a day early. Called the kennel, scooped up the 3 musketeers who were glad of the adventure (my dogs are easily pleased) and off when went.
When we got there a lady had just driven up with 2 dogs, one I believed died as she was signing in. Apparently she lived in an apartment, left the dogs out on the patio in crates. She covered the crates with blankets to keep the sun off them.
I was so angry-beyond angry. And it's not like I've never done dumbass things. The dogs were well groomed and other than being dead, looked well cared for.
So, behold the workings of a depressed mind. "Cute little dogs die on patios, why bother?" Taking a random, albiet shitty, event, personalizing it and using it as a reason to give up. How clever.
And, truly, there is no answer to the question-because the mind will just come up with another horror to "why bother " about. Lately I've started treating the gloomy side of me just like a famiiar, yet annoying child. When it crops up with "why bother" I just (mentally, not out loud, unless I'm home alone) blurt back "cause I said so." Arguing or reasoning with your depressed self makes as much sense as arguing or reasoning with a child or a dog.
The scary thing is, it kind of works. The blues still linger, but I'm able to keep moving and keep trying. Why? Cause I said so.
2 comments:
i had one of these days this week, and just got through it as well as i could crept into bed and hoped that the next one would feel better and it did.
i hate holiday time as so many people just go on holiday and abandon their dogs, fuck it annoys me....'a dog is forever not just for xmas!'
i say to myself 'just do what you can, you can't change the world!'
My mouth is still gaping open at the dead dog in the crate. WTF? She thought to keep the sun off of them, but did she remember they require food, water and attention and LOVE in order to be alive? I will never understand this world.
You have lucky dogs :)
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