Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hmmm, I suck at being consistent these past weeks-oh well, Kiss My Ass. I'm here, today, right now, ready to tell the world to pucker up. The line forms at the rear.
Plumbing problems can KISS MY ASS. My sink was backed up for three days, and the day before the plumber shows up it clears. I'm sure it had something to do with the four bottles of Liquid Plumber I poured down it, but STILL. Kiss My Ass and take that-I had him root the drain anyway so I'd know it was clear all the way through.
Giant Horseflies that bruise and draw blood-Kiss My Ass and GO AWAY. I spray the horse and they come for me-so I've started spraying my jeans too.
Joy killers- oh kiss my ass, seriously. If someone is happy about something, and you don't understand it, just nod and say "how nice". The truth is, you'll probably never understand it and you don't NEED to understand it or approve of it. You DO understand that they are happy, right? That's all you need to know. If you don't have to pay for it, or clean up after it-just fucking be happy too.
In the same category is Nosey Neighbors. Kiss My Ass. If I get something big in a box-WHY do you need to know what is in that box, where I got it, what I am going to do with it? I don't know why this irritates me so. It's an okie thing. In Dallas I could drag a dead body across the lawn and no one would have commented on it unless it started stinking up the place.
I guess I want the warmth of Oklahoma with the complete anonymity of Dallas. Not likely to happen.
Monday morning's exchange:
Nosey Neighbor "Oh, what did you get, a dryer?"
Me (not sure where the dryer came from) "No, a chest freezer"
Nosey Neighbor "What are you going to put in it?"
Me (wanting to say "A body")" Stuff I want to freeze."
REALLY-what kind of question is THAT? AAAAAAAAAAAAGH