We had our dinner on Friday (Jake's ribs) and Mom bought a waffle maker for us to have breakfast today. Daddy really enjoyed the waffle maker in Louisiana, and I was touched (and so was he I think) that Mom went right out and bought one.
But, it didn't go well-new things don't work well for Mom and I got a better understanding of why she's so adamanet about the "way she's always done it" because it really is the only way she can. But what would have been a completely miserable time last year, was an OK time this year. She let me help and we all muscled through and we had our waffles.
Next up is a visit to see Uncle John, and honestly, after the waffle fiasco this morning, I'm dreading it and hoping he'll be asleep. The Mom/John combo is heart wrenching, just as the Mom/Dad combo can be. I can see now why I only had one child-I just can't cope with two, and that's really odd because I am the multitasking diva.
Unlike children, as people age, they get clingier and more time consuming. Is that an awful thing to say? Well it's true. Now I struggle with wanting to delete the last lines, because what if this is my last father's day? But, I also want to share the truth of what happens when parent's age so that maybe someone who has the same feelings will read it and know they are not alone.
One flash of insight as I was helping Mom was how agitated I felt wanting HER not to be agitatted. I realized this is where some of their agitation comes from as well-when I go off and do things that they can't help with (which is most things I do now). If I had realized that earlier, I probably would have had a nicer summer last summer-but even this old dog can learn a new trick or two.
5 comments:
it's very interesting to read this, as it appears you are now the parent, a complete change of roles happening there. you did well, give yourself lotsa warm fuzzies.
The roles do change an awful lot, but I doubt it's ever a smooth transition.
I like these reflections... funny you should contemplate deleting any of your lines at all... this is your space to say what you want... your candor is what's most enticing...
See ya around Deb...
JON
Many older do get set in their ways and like things the way they are. Helen won't let me paint her kitchen that hasn't been painted since 1966, and she hates electricity so doesn't have a hot water heater. Just two examples. But she is the most cheerful and easy to get along with woman I know.
I like learning new lessons from each other. It's ever-changing. Sometimes the ride is smooth, sometimes bumpy. The neat part is seeing how we'll be in each situation and (hopefully) learning from it. I'm good at repeating lessons these days.
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