Tuesday, August 4, 2009

KMAT-Low level irritants

Sink hair can kiss my ass.  I live alone, and my OWN hair clogging a sink grosses me out-let's not even think about public places and hotels.  I think it's the whole combo of hair not being where it "belongs" and being WET.  I've never met a single person who was pleasantly surprised by a big old hair ball in the sink.

Unclipped toenails can kiss my ass.  If you are going out in public with open toed shoes-clip your nails or stay home.  Also, clip your dogs nails when they need it-trim your horse's hooves.  Shit.  It's not rocket science.  But for heaven's sake, don't do any clipping where I can see it or hear it.

Acrylic nails grown out -if you are going to rock acrylics, get those fills or take the things off when they grow out.  Two weeks max.  Grown out nail polish annoys me too.  People who sit and FLAKE their nail polish in public-oh don't get me started.  Kiss my ass.

Dog eye boogers.  People, dog's don't have thumbs-they can't clean their eyes.  If your dog has an eye booger-clean that eye, if for no other reason than it will save you a vet bill for conjunctivitis.   Anyone who could leave a dog with a dirty eye can kiss my ass.  If you don't notice things like that-do your dog a favor and find it a home who does.  Dog dingleberries are one level up from eye boogers in grossness.  

People who don't understand my abiding love of Starbucks-kiss my ass.  I HAVE an expresso maker at home, but sometimes I want someone to make it for me, or sometimes I want/need a little protein/caffeine when I'm out.  Don't get it?  Fine, I don't care, shut up or kiss my ass.  In these troubled times, we do have to save every penny-you save yours where you want to, kiss my ass, and I'll save mine where I want to.  When you have to support my Starbuck's habit-you can have some say-in the meantime KISS MY ASS.

E coli showing up everywhere-KISS MY ASS.  What is up with that?  Some ass bug showing up in drinking water?  Freaky deaky.  The entire world is full of shit-kiss my ass!


soulbrush said...

snap, bingo, ditto...i had to roflol and when i picked myself up, there it was- exactly what i would say! every one of these made my hair stand on edge...except starbucks, i don't drink coffee. love the smell, but makes me hyper for 10 hours....but i say 'drink where you want and what you want', hell it's your life and your pennies/nickels...so kmfa to these too. can't we have a kma every day of the week?

soulbrush said...

the wordveri was:
bottovice (bottom advice?)

studio lolo said...

I have to agree with thses. The made me laugh, that's for sure.
I never did get a coffee craving, thank goodness. I can barely afford the wine crave! But it floors me when people make it their business if you want a five dollar cup of coffee. Like you said, if they had to pay for it then they can say something! I think there's something about buying that cup of coffee (or whatever) and having someone bring it to you that makes it taste better! I'd like to be waited on and pampered for the rest of my life. Not in a sickening Princess kind of way, hell no. Just in a "here, you deserve this" kind of way. Because I do!!
Eye boogers and dingleberries on dogs...KMA too!

Debra Kay said...

I also don't like boogers on kids-you know, the kind that have been there long enough to dry out-for the love of all things-wipe your poor kid's nose. But that actually makes me a bit angry-so I didn't put it on low level.

The people that let their acrylics grow out also wear them really really long too-it drives me nuts. I've worn acrylics-and I know that letting them grow out is really painful-so how can you NOT know? And you obviously CARE, because you paid 30 bucks to have the things put on.

Gardening has left my nails too short for even a manicure-yes I have gloves, no I don't wear them.

Michele said...

People who ask me to present at a meeting and have a presentation slide ready for said meeting that is taking place in 30 minutes from the time I'm asked can KMA. Unemployment - KMA. Adoption agencies that jack me around - KMA. That's about it for the day. Thanks for giving me a place to vent.