Tuesday, August 18, 2009

KMAT -what does it MEAN?

It's very hard to work up a good fit when Oliver the Parrot is forcing little grins out the side of my mouth. KMA silly bird, I'm supposed to be dour and funny right now.

What is the real meaning of Kiss My Ass? Maybe it's like Christmas-maybe there are many meanings. It can mean "go away, I'm done talking to you." Maybe it means "You are a jerk." Perhaps a more universal meaning is "I don't like this, but there is nothing I can do about it, so I'm going to say something rude and move on."

It's an active kind of phrase. Yes, I want YOU to KISS my ass.....instead of what? Whatever you are doing? Yet, it's not very precise, because the last thing I want the person I'm telling off to do is to actually kiss my ass, and if it's a general kiss ass statement (kiss my ass rain!) then there is no way that my ass could be kissed. Ah well, a mystery for the ages I guess.

For today's assignation (dammit, I'm smiling again), I would very much like animals who hide dead birds under bushes to kiss my ass. Nothing like weeding and pulling out a dried up old corpse-although it's probably better than pulling out a fresh one.

Red dirt is gonna have to kiss my ass too-it stains. Even blue jeans. What on earth is in this Okie Earth? It's pretty, but Kiss My Ass any way.

The sock eating monster in the dryer can kiss my ass. Hard as I try to ignore it, it still annoys me.

Most, if not ALL plastic packaging can kiss my ass. I will pay extra to buy something that is not wrapped in plastic. I loathe that shit. One exception is bubble wrap-that can be fun, but NOT if it's taped together. People who tape together bubble wrap plastic can really kiss my ass.

That would make a great curse-phrase though-"you stupid bubble wrap plastic taper you!" Ok, maybe not.

I bet someone posts a comment that says "bubble wrap plastic poppers can kiss my ass" and that's just wrong. Nothing like having a good go at popping those bubbles. But, it's your ass, and you can tell anyone to kiss it that you like.


soulbrush said...

had a new tattoo, nearly had kma on my fa ---decided to be a 'lady' and not bare my a to the cute guy doing the tatting....love popping bubblewrap, so does snuffs,but hate all other plastic...red earth that stains, wow, well that's a definite kissassable one too.
mine are:
hugely pregnant women with their bellies hanging out of short little t shirts;
people watering their gardens in the hottest part of the day, wasteful;
having to sleep at night, got too much arting to do;
school starts all too soon again KMFA!!!

Michele said...

Ok, I have to admit, I am one of those stupid bubble wrap plastic tapers! Anytime I ship something breakable, I wrap it tightly in bubble wrap and tape it to pieces. So sorry : ) For my KMA for the day, fertility doctors who don't care about their individual patients as much as they care about making $15,000 for IVF procedures can definitely KMA. People who yell at me when they don't like my point of view can KMA. People who think the government should pay their healthcare way because they are too lazy to get a job with healtchare can KMA. Sorry, I know that's a contro one but I've had an upsetting event around that today. Have I told you I live for KMAT : )

Lynn said...

I hate the plastic that is HARD and you have to cut it with scissors or a blow torch to get it open. But my ass is my ass and I really don't want anyone's slobbery lips kissing it! So I have to come up with another thing to say to them...thinking...jump in the lake comes to mind...Are you for real?, is another...I don't know, I'll keep thinking...and yes, I smiled along with you...

Debra Kay said...

Yes, Lynn-double KMA for hard plastic-I always manage to cut myself cutting it open.

Soul, I've come to kind of like the clingy pregnant clothes (maternity) but I don't like bare bellies except at the beach.

I am pro public healthcare but anti the nutcase hysteria surrounding it. (Not calling you a nutcase Michele). My parents are really and truly frightened by all this bruhaha-and that upsets ME. But not every body has the education or means to get a job with healthcare-Mcdonald's workers and Walmart cashiers need healthcare too (I actually have no idea if they provide healthcare or not-just pulling names out of my A##) Lazy has nothing to do with it.

studio lolo said...

new/old experiences that I'm going through...deja vu


Stupid east Coast Drivers, yes YOU!!! KNM! DUH.

No wine in supermarkets? KMA!

Mos-fucking-quitos!!!!! KMA a million times!!

OMG I feel better. Sort of. But it's humid and the bugs are biting;)

studio lolo said...

KNM??? WTF? It must be the humidity! ;P

Julie said...


kj said...

i;m with you on plastic anything.

but how come i can't bitch like you and lolo? not fair, i want to....

Michele said...

sure you're not calling me a nutcase. I can take a hint! : )