Nothing like a little joyful ass kissing. I hope this doesn't bite me on the ass-but kiss my ass anesthesia from last month-you didn't screw up my hair. OW! I was certain I'd end up cutting it all off again, from being sick coupled with surgery-but no. I couldn't sustain life, but I could sustain a head of hair.
Remember that Eddie Murphie rif on James Brown? He say "jump back, I wanna kiss myself-OWWWW"...or my beloved Cat from Red Dwarf "I'm so happy all six of my nipples are TINGLING.........."
Doncha just love a near miss? Oh come on, it beats the hell out of a bull's eye. And, it's ok to celebrate them too. If you are going out and regularly seeking near misses, you might want to look at THAT and overall reckless behavior. But sometimes, just sometimes, you are NOT the bug, you are not even the windshield-you just woosh, zoom by it, close enough to know that you almost got your pee pee in a ringer, but you didn't. And that's when you want to dance around, shake your booty and sing "Jump back, kiss my ass, oh yeah kiss it again."
Celebrating is not the same as being ungrateful. I just don't think gratitude always has to be such a solemn, dreary thing. Maybe if it weren't we'd have more of it. Here's to near misses!