Thursday, April 3, 2008

Strange Perspective

I was talking with my father yesterday and said something about being tired and burnt out from working and HE said "You haven't worked enough to be tired."

I was floored. I'm 47, I have a Master's Degree, a couple of trades and successful careers under my belt....but for the first time I was not offended. Because I realized that Daddy didn't see me as a tired old woman-he still sees a young kid.

Now my ego is not dead... I did say, but laughing "well Daddy, I've worked since I was 15 and I've probably put in more hours on the job than you have" and he laughed too and told a story about working 30 hours straight or something like that. But it was a nice moment, because we both got a glimpse of the other's viewpoint, without anger or resentment.


BBC said...

I thought I would work until I died, I loved doing things. Well, I still do, I just got tired of working for rich people with more money than brains wanting me to please them.

So I retired and just do the things I want to do. My little universe doesn't revolve around money.

Money is just an energy that flows around that the rich collect because they think it will make them happy.

Yeah, right, whatever. Happiness is sitting on a beach or something.

kj said...


Michele said...

I just finished reading Midwives ... yes, I know I'm really behind on my Oprah bookclub reading but there was a line in there about the husband of the midwife who is on trial and how he was challenging the attorney because he didn't think he did enough. The attorney answered with why he had chosen the path he did and then asked how the husband thought he should have handled it differently. Long story but here's the point, the author wrote that the attorney said all of this without any defensiveness in his voice at all ... simply stating the facts and asking for an opinion. I really didn't love the book but that line has stuck with me. I really want to live my life that way. No defensiveness ... just the facts and then asking for opinions so I can learn. Course I'm no where near being there but it sounds like you and your Father had one of those no defensiveness ... just facts and learning moments. I like it.

Debra Kay said...

I'd like more unguarded moments and more sitting on benches and beaches too.

BBC said...

The finest art moves and lives and withers and dies and then is reborn.

I like that.

BBC said...

Other Art

My dad died when he was 44, just when he finely started treating me like a human being.

Forever Young said...

it's moments like these that we will remember and cherish...i think...oh hell i don't really know!

kj said...

i love all these comments. they are wonderful and wise.

Mim said...

Nice to have a moment when you connected. It may not happen often, but treasure it when it does.

Debra Kay said...

BBC, I'm glad you liked my phrase. I left the rebirth part off first, but I don't think true beauty ever dies.

FY even if they don't stay in our conscious memory, I think they become a part of our understanding of the world.

KJ, the comments are the best part of the blog.

Mim, it happens more often as I learn to let it. I'm really the person most likely to change in my group, but how I change changes them.

Michele, believe me, it was a single outstanding moment-knowing and doing are soooooo far apart now.

studio lolo said...

I love coming here. It's like free counseling ;-)
Honestly though Debra, you are so real and raw in sharing your experiences that I'm moved by every post. Sometimes I feel as though we're getting through things "together."