I was able to spend the afternoon with my Mom and not end up in the fetal position afteward. Instead, I came home, cooked dinner and am catching up on blogging. Mom hasn't changed, I have changed in the way I react to her, and it's working for both of us. In turn, I caught her appearing to pause before she said something-and that is a new thing too. She is willing to participate in this cosmic experiment.
What sparked the day was my Aunt has been ill and I suggested we drive out and see her. I let Mom pick the time, I showed up on time, and had no agenda. Multitasking does not work with Mom. Then other new thing I did was not plan an entire day's activity for when I got home-knowing I wouldn't do it anyway and would just feel guilty about that.
Tomorrow we are going together to see Uncle John. Mom is struggling going by herself and that has never been my intent to give her pain. John is going downhill and Mom needs help with that.
So, like almost everything else in life, what I came here to do isn't really what I've ended up doing at all (here being Oklahoma). But what I'm doing is what is needed. So, maybe that's how things get done.
My original agenda was "Move to Oklahoma, start a successful business, cure Uncle John of Parkinson's via engaging him in all kinds of activities, and stimulate my parent's interest in life." Immediately prior to arriving here I left a career and a life in Dallas, and a month after I got here I had a silicone band placed around my stomach (which changed a few things to say the least).
Now that I'm in counseling (oh how it makes me smile to write that after the last paragraph) my agenda is to make a "vision board" by next Wednesday.