Today I met http://ammdh.blogspot.com/ , AKA MIM (my coding is not working today) who is as wonderful in person as she is in the Blogosphere. I sat in the front of the cafe and tried to guess which car was hers-I knew her by the way she parked. She parked with purpose and confidence.
She got out and I was wiggling in my seat like a puppy, wanting to wave, but not sure...then it hit me, WHAT IF I waved at the wrong person? Would the world come to an end? Not likely. So, I jumped up and waved, and lo and behold, it was MIM!
I was so excited to see her. We "talk" more frequently than I do with relatives in my own town.
In grad school one of the things that fascinated me was how people adopt and experiment with different persona's on the "screen". Lately I've become fascinated with all the ways we deceive ourselves in relationships, and believe it or not, I am not taking that notion to a dark place. We have become so adaptable at meeting our needs, that sometimes we, human beings, fabricate reality.
And reality changes with context. I know, for instance, I am my best self on the road-adventuresome, open to new experience. Yet, if I stay gone too long, I begin to withdraw and yearn for my own bed.
Even before we are human, we are living organisms, and change is key to survival. Despite all our clever contrivances, we cannot overcome that. Lately I've come to associated wanting to stay the same with end of life-so maybe it's best we not overcome the need to change.