I was summoned to an emergency meeting so I hobbled onto the elevator with the AP group-who were not, as it turns out, going to the 5th floor, but were headed home. Not for good, not yet, but to recover from the shock of having just been laid off.
So, I'm sitting in the midst of my "do I even want to be here" crisis and now I have to decide if I'm glad I'm still "here". Of course, I lept to the conclusion that I was "saved" due to injury, age, etc, but the truth is, I have a lot of decent skills and can fill in in a lot of places. It's so easy to to leap to the conclusion that you are unworthy.
In today's outsourcing environment, it's kind of like being in a tornado filled storm. If it doesn't hit you then you say Whew! I'm glad...and if it does, you figure out what to do next.
Of course, the next weeks are going to be challenging to my already waning morale, but I am going to do what I can which is basically offer a friendly smile and an encouraging word.
I just sapped my energy so I came home, ate dinner and hobbled out in the backyard for the first time since surgery. I really wanted to be outside. I'm also trying to stay awake till 9 so that I have a chance of staying asleep once I go.
I wrote this morning of all being well with the world, and in my world, it still is. Whew-I'm glad it wasn't me.