Thursday, April 12, 2007

Let's Rumble....

Are you ready to rumble? It’s NASCAR weekend in Dallas-which means I will have to sneak up to OKC via 75 to avoid the fuss. People are trying to rent trailers, but I couldn’t risk a drunken NASCAR fan trashing my dear little Scotty.

I ended up flat on my back with my foot in the air yesterday. Leg and body just had ENOUGH. It happens. I sometimes forget bodies don’t function on a regular, predictable basis. Well, the healing parts, anyway. SOME parts do, and for that I am grateful. Although it can be a curse if 10 am finds me on an airplane-I hate those little stalls. I may have really bad feet and ankles, but I was blessed with intestines of steel. I know, too much information, but it really does help to focus on what is right rather than what is wrong.

Anyway, I am cycling through my “overwhelmed” phase and am back into just one thing at a time mode. Some how it will all work out. I am considering asking for a demotion in my job. I need the extra time more than I need the extra money-lots of family obligations piling in on me and I had gotten used to my unlimited (too much so) ME time. I still need that and always will. I think I am partially autistic.

At every phase in my life I seem to have trouble figuring out the whole career thing and where I fit in and where it fits in. And, I’m having wisps of deja vu.....opportunities-but at the cost of family time. And, ARE they real opportunities? Opportunities are for those who dress the dress and talk the talk. Yet my absolute strength in my current position is I speak my mind and don’t play the game-important features of a Risk Manager.

But I’m growing disenchanted again-I want to go save the world and it won’t happen here.

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