Wednesday, November 4, 2009

HAW-My World has turned Upside Down

I knew the woman was up to something.  She brought in some safflower seeds and let me out to fly around a bit.  She took down my pink sleeping perch....THEN she took IT out of the bag.  BLUE.

She put a blue platform in the sleeping corner of my big cage. My sleepy perch is pink.  My cage is black.  BLUE?  NO NO NO.  I climbed right to the top of the cage and sat there.  She went down the hall....and stayed.

I couldn't even watch Leno.  I flew down the hall to discuss it with her.  She let me eat peanuts off her belly and when I put my head down she'd give me T-Touch massages, Oliver style.  Then she said NI NI and tried to put me in the cage with the blue thing.  OH NO NO NO.

She got stern and said "Now Oliver, don't be silly".  SILLY?  Silly?  What is silly?  I don't think I am silly.

I went inside, hung upside down from the roof and held my wings out-time to make myself look BIG.  Then I made little chirping sounds like a baby bird.  That always does it.

When she bought that awful pink ladder I hated, I just had to act afraid of it, and she'd take it away.  But now, for some reason she thinks I need to work through it.

If she wasn't going to watch me be afraid, I decided I might as well turn my back on the blue platform and pretend it wasn't there and eat my safflower seeds.  My pink perch is in the cage but it's not in the sleeping spot.  It's low.  I sleep up high in the corner.

I sleep up high in the corner on a pink perch.  In my travel cage I sleep in the middle on a big perch that looks like a fossil.  It is brown.  When I was abducted, my sleeping perches went with me.  Do you follow my train of thought?  At no point have I mentioned a blue platform, much like the one residing in the spot where my pink perch should be.  Should be.  Not is. NO NO NO.

There it is NOT.  It IS where it doesn't belong.  Down low.  Perches don't belong down low.  Pink sleeping perches never ever ever EVER belong down low by the extra seed bin.

She did not move my shiney toy-and damn her, she put a treasure box with a treat in it right on the blue thing.  As if she thinks I won't notice that I'm standing on a blue thing that is right where my pink perch would be.  No treat box in the world is that good.  OH no no no.  GOOD LORD.

Besides, if I want it I can just hang upside down snag it in my beak.  What kind of fool does she take me for?

She said "Popeye has a sleeping platform and he really likes it."  Well, yes he does, and yes he does.  And it's green and his cage is green and it matches and it's probably been there for 30 years and by the way, I'm NOT POPEYE.  I'm me me me, Mister BirdyBirdy BIRD BIRD.

Go stick a blue perch in where Popeye's green platform is now and see how he likes it. NOT AT ALL.

People should stick to bringing me craps and peanuts and rubbing my head.  I"M NOT HAPPY-can you tell?  Huh?

7 comments:

Lisa at Greenbow said...

How insensitive of that woman to change your perches. And in color too. But remember this Oliver you are a boy and boys are supposed to like blue. HAW anyway.

The word verification is BITING. Are you biting the new perch or the woman for doing such a dastardly thing??

Teri C said...

OMG I SO look forward to 'seeing' and 'hearing' you on Wednesdays Oliver. You always manage to put a smile on my face!

HAW

studio lolo said...

hey Mr. Birdy Bird, my world has been changed around a lot lately too and I don't like some of it one single bit!
Maybe you should look at the things in your world that are still good and try to get your wings around the new stuff and embrace it.
What??? Psychobabble???
I tried :)

My word veri is 'tannut.'
Maybe you should hold out for some of those!

HAW!!!!

Debra Kay said...

LOLO-I showed her. I've been sleeping on my extra food dish-but she said she was going to take IT away from me in a few days.

It's my extra extra food dish-and it's GREEN and clear and beautiful. I love it The woman says it's tacky. She likes raffia and boring stuff and I like plastic stuff and we fight about it all the time-and I always win.

She SAYS she's going to move my shiny thing over by the perch. I SAID she might get a nip on her hand if she does that. Does that answer your question Lisa?

I'm not a child-I'm 9 years old now. I know what I like. I like my pink perch and I like it where it WAS.

I also like safflower seeds and craps. Yesterday I got craps AND an apple slice. YES-I said "You wanna APPLE-crap crap crap!" and I got both at once. Magic words I see. HAW.

Debra Kay said...

Oh, Lolo-be sure and look on the bottom of the box you get-and speak to the woman about sharing space with people. Hmph.

soulbrush said...

i can see why you are so upset and i agree with you, YOU ARE NOT POPEYE. now i think it is time to rebel once and for all, you go oliver, i am right behind you!

Debra Kay said...

NO NO NO I'm NOT Popeye. Popeye is a great revered bird, but he's not ME ME ME. I do like him though. He has a bigger cage than ME. But I have three cages and a perch. THREE. THREE for Me me me.

One is my usual cage, one is my sleeping cage and one is boarding cage. The woman says we might need to employ that cage if "the holidays" get too frantic for me. We'll see about that.

If people get rude and I get upset, I might just flap over around their heads till the LEAVE. The woman says the things called children might play games on the WII though-I would like that. I like the sounds it makes and some of the games cheer. I like cheering-I know its always meant for me.