Drove to Denton yesterday (in Texas, where I went to Grad School) and decided to visit Bari's, the legendary cheap Italian place by campus. The tree was still there in the dining room, but ownership has changed hands and the house dressing and the rolls were not the same.
I wondered why it made me sad-since I can no longer eat them anyway-I'm not the same either.
I looked over at a table I remembered sitting at a tried to see myself and my friends as we were. Not a single one of us has ended up where we thought we'd be-but no one is too bad off. And, with my determined eye, I could see that at the time, we were all pretty much the same basket case THEN as we are now. Let it not be said that I look at the past with rose colored glasses.
I think the sadness came from realizing that back then I still believed there was a plan and if we held true to our plan we'd meet our destiny blah blah blah. Plan? Hah. There aint' no stinking plan, only one's ability to meet the present situation.
I think some people spend their entire lives trying to get in touch with a plan or path that isn't there at all. Maybe that's why when they are on their death bed they say "I should have......"
3 comments:
Yup - there ain't no stinkin' plan...
I love that..."only one's ability to meet their present situation."
Wow.
Funny that you should post these thoughts because I've come to similar conclusions as of late. I've spent at least the last two years, if not my whole life, wanting/waiting for something big or great to happen. Waiting to get pregnant, waiting to get a better job, waiting to be able to pay all my bills, etc. But that something great never came. And I realized, it's not going to come. This is my life. What I have right now. There isn't anymore. And I actually felt relieved. I can stop wanting and waiting and just be.
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