Friday, September 19, 2008

My Black Dog

Soulbrush sent me a great cartoon book about depression (that is a little odd sounding isn't it?)  She sent it awhile back, but I am still about a month behind on opening mail-so yeah, depression does THAT to you too.

I've been learning many lessons about coping lately, and now I wonder if I've learned them IN TIME. ...In time for what?  I have no idea.  I've thought about toting around a manual counter and clicking it every time a senseless, yet ominous thought like that pops in my head.  I'm learning to recognize them now, and bat them away like useless gnats.

I do appreciate all the good thoughts, ATC's and things that are being sent my way.  It helps me remember there is a whole big life beyond 49th street and dying people.

I backed out of Puggerfest, and I feel pretty good about that.  It is a well meaning organization, but things would be decided at meetings, I would begin work on those things, and then a few days later, someone not at the meeting would decide upon changes.  If someone is paying me, I can roll with the flow, but I wasn't getting anything back but frustration,  so I bailed out.    I can't help but feel there is probably some personal growth in that act-my deciding I had too much chaos and cutting out the bit of chaos I felt could go.

Staying in the to do list is next week's girls night out in Tulsa-doing a charity walk on Saturday morning so we are having a slumber party on Friday night at the Marriott,  and my mid October trip to the Snake Convention.  It's actually a reptile trade show, but Snake Convention sounds better and more exciting.  One of the things I want to do there is scope out maybe a sideline thing I could do there-T shirts, etc where I could go to the show but not sell animals.  Snake Art anyone?

Oliver the parrot has sustained me through this rough patch.......farting and belching any time the mood gets too morose.  How I made it through life without a farting belching parrot is beyond me.  The furry kids keep me on my toes-they demand a certain amount of strong vibes from me or they'll walk all over me.  So, when I'm feeling weak, I walk outside to be reminded that yes, I am strong.

The baby burms are fascinating as well.  They actually move towards me-not to bite, but just to see what I'm up to and be picked up.  I've never had snakes do that before.  I've had feeding responses, leave me alone strikes, and oh, ok pick me up then...but this is something quite different.


studio lolo said...

I like this post. Lots going on, good stuff to let in, and stuff that's not working for you to let out. I learn from you every day.

Glad you liked you tile. I'm tickled that you're going to Gorilla Glue it to the house!

soulbrush said...

glad you got it, gotta love the 'black dog'...snake conventions and sleepovers sound just the perfect way to help keep that 'black dog' at bay. how i love that ollie and your furries, give them all a kiss from moi!

Debra Kay said...

My darlings have forever changed the face of the black dog-that is for sure. I'm more likely to get up at 7 to spend time with them than to sleep till noon. I realized this morning I need to view myself with the same acceptance and compassion that I use with my parents and my animals-none of us perfect, but each perfectly ourselves.

When Oliver the parrot is rowdy and bitey, I immediately calm myself so I can deal with his behavior in the best way possible-stopping it without damaging our relationship. I really should allow myself the same compassion-we all should be as nice to ourselves as we are to our pets.

This is kind of lame, but true-when I'm debating on a food item for myself, I ask myself if I would feed it to the dogs. If the answer is no, I don't feed it to myself (most of the time)

Mim said...

Somehow we are often on the same wavelength! I just got home from vaca and am overwhelmed by my stuff...and commitments. I've gotta think about this a bit more.

Julie said...

I love how your bird is so good for you...I think I need one!