Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Good Times

Remember in the show Good Times when James dies and Florida holds it together through two episodes then finally throws the punch bowl down in the floor and cries "damn, damn, damn." I'd really like to do that, but I don't feel like I'm there yet.

Not to be offensive, but it's just like an orgasm that doesn't quite happen.

Ooooh, is that what depression is-the overwhelming, low grade feeling of dread? Am I depressed in spite of all my perky projects?

Uncle John is a little more vague and a little more paranoid and I don't know if I can bring him "back". Parkinsons. Damn Damn Damn. Watching this isn't like a stab through the heart, it's a long, slow tear of the heart. But love means not looking away.

I do hope Kahlil Gibran is right-pain hollows us out so that we may hold more joy. The hollowing out part, I must say, isn't all that pleasant.

I'm not an Urban Chicken person, or a Freecycler any longer, or even a Compacter. I will do what I can to save the world but I just don't have the energy for gather up in clusters. The Freecycle thing and some of it's offshoots felt like begging....If I see one more ad that says "I am in need of....." I will go ballistic, so I unsubbed from those groups. I'm not an agility person any more, no more clean run, can't do the horse thing, mountainbiking gone. Who am I?

Who am I today? A woman who can't get out of the house to go take a walk (2 more days and off comes the cast) trying to keep her spirits up, waiting for the bills to flood in and the office politics to turn up a new wrinkle.

Isn't it funny how the blues can just swing down on us with no warning? I wonder if that happens to men, but not enough to bother to ask them. I got worries of my own.

The Retic (unknown to be dwarf or not) is shedding and she is one cranky girl. That's what I love about snakes-they get all new skin every so often-and like us, it isn't easy or pleasant (at least for some of them).

Cody, one of my dogs, knocked over the trash and spilled some coffee grounds and I skidded into them because my casted foot was down. So now when I go to the Dr. and the tech takes off my cast, about a tablespoon full of coffee grounds are going to fall out. If I end up with the snotty tech and he says anything I am going to say "Coffee is a natural way to exfoliate".

In he meantime I can look at pictures of the inside of my trailer, and my two jacks and my hitch (which are currently keeping the lid on the big python cage).

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