First I have to acknowledge it-then I've got to figure out what it all means. Hah-that would take another 50 years.
My plan for some time was to cage dive with a Great White Shark ON my birthday. Now, I'm not so sure. It's not a fear thing-it's a dollar thing. The dive at the Farallons-where the big pregnant girls are-would be cold as all get out. I cannot convey with words how much I loathe being cold.
Guadalupe is a week long event. Cool, yes, expensive, OH MY. No one I know would get in the water with me, and no one I know would actual go on the boat, so I am not sure that bobbing around the ocean with strangers is how I want to celebrate my 50th-and the sharks are the males who are smaller and inferior.
Lately I've figured out dreams don't always work out-we know I'm slow. So, I've been amusing myself with alternative celebrations and combinations. I could go on a topside voyage to the Farallons and watch the sharks swim around other people while I wore a coat and took pictures. If I did that-I could also take a decent road trip this summer WITH my border collies. I have friends who have expressed interest in part of the trip.
At the time the shark dream started, tourism hadn't happened, and people rarely saw them. It was the rare factor. Now anyone with a plane ticket and 400 bucks can see one. Lots of people do-it's still not common perhaps, but not RARE.
On the other hand, seeing prairies and mountains and sheep and bison and all manner of things through the eyes of Moon, Molly and Solo-that can only be accomplished by me. And even if I share it with pictures and words, it is still implied that I did it-ME.
I've never thought in terms of a birthday being about me before. I told you I was slow.