Saturday, July 19, 2008

Wow

Yesterday I went knitting with a friend. One of their knitting circle had passed away-a 30 something year old man (hetro, his wife was a member of the group as well). He had been sick, went to bed, never woke up.

I'm watching a big orange moon rise outside my window-a moonrise this guy didn't get to see. He won't ever see THIS one, maybe he saw one like it, maybe he'll see another, but where ever he is, I doubt he's worried about this particular moon.

Where ARE you? I always ask that when anyone dies, and so far no one has answered. Is there some intake place you go to? For that matter, does everyone go to the same place? I mean, why would they-we've all gone different directions all of our lives, why would go to the exit door to leave?

Yesterday my eyes misted over a few times, once for this man, once for his wife, once for a friend of his and mine who was moved to tears. Amazing creatures we humans, the mere news of something that we can relate to can generate powerful emotions. When Bitty died last week, my dogs looked for her, relating to her absence. Had they come across her dead body, they probably would have chewed on it and would not have pondered how Bitty had become a chew toy, only felt delight in finding a chew toy.

I can't decide which attitude is better-and the truth is probably that neither is. I cannot react like a dog any more than a dog can react like me-we're just different.

I wish I could cherish all moonrises the way I cherish the one tonight-simply because I'm here to see it. Really, just being here is a gift we often overlook. If you are here, reading this, I wish for you the same sense of joy I have at this moment, watching the moon. Glad to be here.

8 comments:

Hopper said...

I am so glad to read these words...

and Deb...

I don't really know... but by all indications... when we die... we go to the place that we were before we were born...

do you remember that place... that warm and holding place where we still remember our dreams... just before we fully wake... where dreams dwell... that's where your friend is... that's where Bitty is too...

I don't know... just a thought...



LIVE IN JOY

Mim said...

I'm not so sure I agree Hopper, but not sure I disagree either.
Deb - I have so much to say about this that I can't do it in a comment, may have to post. can I link to you?

Debra Kay said...

You can link to me anytime Mim.

Hopper, my overly analytical mind wants to know why we don't know about that place when we are awake. I'm all about piercing the veil. The veil is a pretty apt description, the being is there and present, then poof, they are not.

kj said...

debra kay, what a lovely post you've written here. isn't it incredible when you simply "know", and all the rest is just white noise?

studio lolo said...

Wow, thirty-something. Tragic. I've often thought about the same things, where do we go "after?" I'd like to think we go where we're needed and our bodies go back to the earth. I'm not ready yet though.
Wish I were there to share that moon with you.

Michele said...

I didn't know Bitty had died. I am so sorry. And you are a good Mother for taking in Bitty and allowing her to live out her days in a happy, dog-friendly home. I'm also sorry about the knitting friend. I'm not sure which is worse. Sudden, unexpected death or slow, gradual death which was the case for my Father. Both are hard to handle. Hang in there.

BBC said...

You go where you want to go, it's your heaven and no one else can tell you what it is.

human being said...

it's strange... but i've always have got a feeling that those who we love (human or animal) are telling us or doing something for us even by their death...
sometimes they even change our course of life... to save us... as my elder sister did when i lost her when i was nearly 20...
and we may notice this years after they are gone...

Debra, you words are so magical and impressive...