I visit alot with the grim reaper these days. Yesterday Blaze, the baby Fire Ball Python, drowned in his water bowl. He was doing well, and his organs were all in perfect shape, other than the fact that he was dead and rigor mortis was starting.
Of all the things I've worried about lately, a healthy snake drownng in a water bowl was not up on the list. Is this the cosmic slap upside the head that says "quit worrying-you'll never worry about it all no matter how hard you try?"
Ok, I don't honestly think that the cosmos takes the time to align to show me what I need to know. I do think that I should reflect on things that DO happen to learn from them. The cosmos provides the fertile proving ground for our experiments in life, but it's up to us to provide the intent.
I've never liked the notion that "God has a plan for you"...even as a child I raised the question "what if I don't like the plan?" Lately I've remembered some of my childhood questions, and you know what, they were pretty good questions after all.
I revisited my intent to come back here-and dang it, I still think it's a good idea. Back to my birthplace-if I can be ME on 49th street, I can probably be me anywhere in the world. And that seems like a valuable skill to work on, even if it is somewhat self centered. (just a little).
Like a zillion other people, I love the Metallica tune "Unforgiven". Google it, it's worth a listen and franky, I don't want to lose my thought long enough to link to it. Nothing like Heavy Metal to lay on a big dose of guilt because someone didn't let you live your life the way you wanted to. Waaah waaah waaaah. Now that the boys have all had counseling and rehab, they just aren't as angry as they used to be.....better for them, but a loss for angst ridden, angry art forms.
So, what have I learned? It's definitely easier to face one unexpected death than mutiple slow deaths (speaking strictly of snakes here). I've reaffirmed my beliefs that we are each captains of our own vessels and that we cannot possible conceive of everything that might happen.
I did my first snake necropsy. $$$ Hundreds of dollars worth of dead snake-and yes, it looked just like chicken. Now you know.