Wednesday, March 25, 2009


In Oklahoma, the goats dress better than I do.

Things I can do the others can't.

1. TALK (well, that woman talks but she can't make good sounds like me)
2. FLY
3. Get into the trash can.....oh, the Prissy hates it that I can and she can't. The woman bought a
fancy shiny one with a lid-doesn't she know it's begging me to crack it open?
4.Sing opera (the woman should quit trying)
5.Climb on my cage
6. Get into the cabinets (the woman does that too)

Things the others do that I can do too.

1. Bark....big deal
2. Meow....super big whoppeeee
3. Fart (not saying who else does that)
4. Belch (again....not saying)
5. Scratch my head with my foot (I'd like to see the woman or the snakes try that one...heh heh heh)
6. Shed or molt (the woman doesn't seem to do much of that)
7. Sit in the living room on the furniture (the woman wanted an H in Sit, but I declined-how crude)

The yellow scruffy dog and I will no longer share a name. The woman was hollering at him, and then apologizing to me when I got upset. She finally heard what I was telling her. She said, "No, Oliver is not a bad bird. Oliver is a good bird. I was yelling at Oliver the dog" and I told HER..."No, NO, Bad Slim....SLIM" and you could see the light go on in her little human brain.

It only took her a year to realize what I've been telling her all along-that creatures name is SLIM. Problem solved, thank you very much, MISTER BIRD!!!!!!!!


Lisa at Greenbow said...

Oh Oliver, you are such a smart, articulate bird. I don't think you would look so good in diamonds anyway. Diamonds are a girls best friend.

soulbrush said...

i am laughing so much i can hardly see what i am writing...oliver i think you should come over and give a special talk at cambridge and oxford universities on 'how to train your human' or' who farts loudest in my house'....HAW superfunnycalfrasticbirdie!!!

marianne said...

You really are something oliver!

Debra Kay said...

Lisa, I prefer plastic things with bright, garish colors. I adore pink and red and GREEN. And chrome-oh yeeessssssss, CHROME bells are the best. I don't like wood, no no no NO.

Joss, would they listen politely at Oxford? I have no patience for whippersnappers.

Haw marianne. The woman went outside this morning and hollered SLIM and the yellow scruff dog ran right to her. I hate to say I told you so, well, frankly, I LOVE saying I told you so.....HAW.

studio lolo said...

Identity crisis solved!!
Ask your human to get you one of those chrome balls they put in gardens. Whoa! That would be real trippy for you!

HAW Oliver!!

Debra Kay said...

Lolo, the woman has been informed of my needs-that is perfect! I had a ball I loved that meowed like a cat, but I wore it out and she never bought me another one. HOW RUDE.

The creatures outside have a GIANT BLUE EASTER EGG. They love it, and I'm a little jealous. In fact, I'm going to tell that woman to go wash me a spoon right now-any port in a storm.....HAW!!!

Mim said...

Well - aren't you the brilliant one! What will you call the other slims?

Happy Parrot (otherwise knows as Animal) Wednesday - you totally rock you know