Thursday, August 5, 2010

Better

Ok-if I am going to chronicle my ADD efforts here I had to get rid of the orange.  This feels better.

From my reading and thinking, my first insight is that I need to apply structure but not get trapped by the structure.  So, I am picking a few things to add structure to.

Last week I tackled the absolute number one eating problem I have-the one thing that is consistent no matter what else-I don't eat fruit regularly.  This sets me up for other secondary issues-like eating sugary sweets, etc.  More importantly-it has always been my achilles heal-so after it I went.

I have eaten two fruits a day for almost a full week-and trust me, that has never happened before.  I've even had to resort to bribery-you MUST eat the fruit, then you can have anything else you want....but I've done it.  I'm sure it's helped my health-but helping my mind overcome something that has been chronic is HUGE.

So this week I went for bigger game in the eating/body image realm-My MOTHER.  I joined Weight Watchers-(one of her all time food guru triggers) and I told her-and I told her what day I was going to weigh in and asked her to hold me accountable.  Well shit fire-you would have thought I had given her the keys to the Taj Mahal.  And I got a glimpse of how shutting her out has hurt her.

I'm not going to dwell on that-it's just an insight that what matters to someone else might not be what matters to me.  What mattered to me was having control over what I eat-but by including her I have made her feel, well, included, but I've given up nothing.  She just wants input, and what I do with that is my own business.

In the clutter hoarding area-I have invited a friend down to help me with a garage sale the end of the month-and told enough people that I can't back out.  So I am going to focus on that for the rest of the month.  It's too hot to go outside anyway.

I also want to get back to the art I do best-writing.  I've experimented and will continue to experiment with all manner of visual things-but I'm not a visual artist.  Well, not a very good one.  I write-it's what I do-it's who I am.  I feel like I'm finally saying it's ok just to be me.  And that feels pretty good.

4 comments:

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Yay, it sounds like you are going in the right direction. Good for you girl. I can't wait to see some of the things you write. You write so well. I always admire how you can express yourself.

周志v豪 said...

一時的錯誤不算什麼,錯而不改才是一生中永遠且最大的錯誤............................................................

kj said...

so glad for you, dk, but PLEASE answer your dear friend kj's emails. :)

soulbrush said...

sweet urge can be sorted with chromium tablets (from the health shop) so surprised that the ritalin hasn't taken your appatite away, it did that with my son.it seems to me with the heat outside that you are best staying indoors are writing (possibly)