Better

Ok-if I am going to chronicle my ADD efforts here I had to get rid of the orange.  This feels better.

From my reading and thinking, my first insight is that I need to apply structure but not get trapped by the structure.  So, I am picking a few things to add structure to.

Last week I tackled the absolute number one eating problem I have-the one thing that is consistent no matter what else-I don't eat fruit regularly.  This sets me up for other secondary issues-like eating sugary sweets, etc.  More importantly-it has always been my achilles heal-so after it I went.

I have eaten two fruits a day for almost a full week-and trust me, that has never happened before.  I've even had to resort to bribery-you MUST eat the fruit, then you can have anything else you want....but I've done it.  I'm sure it's helped my health-but helping my mind overcome something that has been chronic is HUGE.

So this week I went for bigger game in the eating/body image realm-My MOTHER.  I joined Weight Watchers-(one of her all time food guru triggers) and I told her-and I told her what day I was going to weigh in and asked her to hold me accountable.  Well shit fire-you would have thought I had given her the keys to the Taj Mahal.  And I got a glimpse of how shutting her out has hurt her.

I'm not going to dwell on that-it's just an insight that what matters to someone else might not be what matters to me.  What mattered to me was having control over what I eat-but by including her I have made her feel, well, included, but I've given up nothing.  She just wants input, and what I do with that is my own business.

In the clutter hoarding area-I have invited a friend down to help me with a garage sale the end of the month-and told enough people that I can't back out.  So I am going to focus on that for the rest of the month.  It's too hot to go outside anyway.

I also want to get back to the art I do best-writing.  I've experimented and will continue to experiment with all manner of visual things-but I'm not a visual artist.  Well, not a very good one.  I write-it's what I do-it's who I am.  I feel like I'm finally saying it's ok just to be me.  And that feels pretty good.