Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Random Post

I am not sure that you can call this an update because I am pretty sure I will leave something out.  I'm still fiddling with anti depressant cocktails to get a good balance between somewhere between terribly anxious and I don't give a damn.  I'd also like to find a good point between total focus on one thing, and unable to focus on anything.  I don't ask for much.

Casper is doing well in horsey school and I am learning so much more than I could have imagined.  I really don't think a Great White Shark could have taught me any more about life and myself than my good old horse is teaching me.  Once I removed the blinder that "far away and exotic is better" my eyes have been opened to a whole panorama of things I've missed.  Click the red slippers-there's no place like home.

Oliver the Parrot and I are ready to take our next step too-we are looking for another grey who is older-perhaps one whose person died or had to go into a home.  He loves watching television, but he loves most of all to watch other grey's on You tube.  The other day we watched Alex the Parrot's last video.

Alex was very sad in this video-he'd been plucking feathers and kept asking to go back to his cage.  This upset me and it upset Oliver.  OTP was so upset he crawled up on my pillow and took a nap-something he never does-he just wanted to be close at that moment.

I've always felt like Alex' schedule was too much for one bird-Oliver needs lots of down time and alone time.  I also feel very strongly that each species, if they are social, needs one of their own to truly experience the fullness of understanding.  For instance, I wrapped myself up in a blanket the other day to experience Oliver without hands.  He picked up on it immediately and hopped over to examine my face without worrying about those arms and hands zooming in.  He seemed relieved.

Now, he likes my hands-he's learned to let me rub his neck and shoulders and feed him.  But I will never be able to preen him, or be just close to his own size.  It must be a little like living with a giant.  Ok, it must be EXACTLY like living with a giant.

So, I am going to find another grey and we'll see what happens.  It has to be older, a young one would outlive me by a long time.  Hopefully it's not damaged-but we'll see about that too.  I've thought it through, and the worst that could happen is that it will have to live at one end of the house and Oliver at the other.  But I am hoping something else happens-I'm just not sure what it will be.

I've made the acquaintance of a few potential friends, but they are a little on the young side.  We've got feelers out for just the right bird, and I know when the time is right it will join us.  After THAT-well I have no idea.

11 comments:

studio lolo said...

oooh, I love it when you surface :)

Sounds like you're giving yourself some space to see things more clearly. Sometimes we just need to take a step back to see ourselves and our worlds.

Casper is a good mentor! And I like the idea of another grey...and old soul to converse in a parrot way with OTP.

We're melting here in the Northeast with record temps. It's ugly! I've soaked Emma twice but she's still pacing and uncomfortable. We went to buy an A/C today but everyone's sold out. We'll try again tomorrow and hope we get through the night with 4 fans.

Nice to see you DK. I've missed you!

xo♥
Lo

kj said...

you are a damn good writer, dk.

and i've missed you too. nobody understands my clingy calculating ego nature like you do.

it's great to hear what you're up to. take care of your precious self.

love
kj

ps you inspired me to write about we 3 on my blog tonight. :)

Mim said...

I miss you too and love it when you surface. great idea about wrapping yourself up - I love the image and Oliver's reaction. I have a friend at work who is parrot crazy..will ask about greys.

soulbrush said...

it seesm that both you and i have had a rough few months, i seem to have found the 'right' anti-depressant now and feel as though i am emrging from a grey dark fog. hope you will soon feel this lifting. fuck depression i say!!!a pal for oliver- what a brilliant idea.

Robin said...

Add me to those who say you are missed and those who say we have had a few rough months..... an understatement for both statements.

I am glad you are trying to help your depression with meds... I wish I could "try" that....but having lost my job last year, I also lost my medical insurance, so am coping on my own. Not easy....

I DO THINk getting a companion for Oliver is a wonderful idea.....
and, worse case scenario, they will live rooms apart....and still be able to communicate!

Loving that Casper is doing well....must tell you again how much I envy your having a horse...

Sending love and prayers,

♥ Robin ♥

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kj said...

screw you! spammers!

leave debra kay alone@!

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laughingwolf said...

a best bud of mine in texas just got the worst news of his life, due to a data entry fup duck, the worst since his partner killed himself, some 10 plus years ago... thinking suicide

i know i can't talk him out of it when he decides to do it

two other of my best friends died recently, in between which my dad died, too...

i have my kids, but they're in their 20s, soon will be on their own... leaving me and my sheltie pup

wish i could offer you more than blessings... be well, deb