Sunday, November 23, 2014

More for me than anything else

I am writing this just to write it down.  Dad died on September 11 and it happened pretty much as I told him it would-he got more and more tired, went to sleep, didn't wake up.  He didn't appear to suffer much and I am grateful for that.

Two weeks later Mom had a stroke.  If she had been home, she would have likely died.  I was out of town, and my brother, who had spent the weekend with her had left.  No one would have found her until Monday morning and it would have been too late.  But it wasn't.  She made a full recovery, however recovered still requires assistance.

I've been home with her while we wait for a room to become available at the assisted living facility.  She's wanted to go there for a couple of years, and while I'm not thrilled with the circumstance it is what she wants and I am grateful for that.

I'm tired.  The only 24 hour period I've had to myself was the day before Mom had her stroke.  It was a good day though and I'm grateful for that.

Trying to summarize the past months into a few paragraphs is futile.  There have been other tragedies, losses, trials and tribulations because life just doesn't give you a pass when you have bigger stuff going on.  I've coped by taking each thing as it happens, and deliberately not thinking too far ahead.  I've tried to spend more time in the present.  I try to spend a lot of time looking at things from Mom's point of view.

Every spare moment is either spent sleeping or training my dogs.  There aren't that many, but I'm grateful for the ones I have.

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