Wow, I really let my knickers down

I read my first post on this blog (which I do periodically) and then skipped through bits a pieces-last December was a hard month. I've yelled at my ancestors, thumbed my nose at death and indulged in shameless navel gazing. Recently I declared that I'd figure out the entire point to life itself.

Poidogz, my other blog, is easier to keep on topic-mostly it's about my dogs with a few rants and other animals thrown in. Everything here, in this blog, relates to midlife, because it's part of MY life and I am mid.....but is it really topical?

Remember the scene in Ab Fab, where Eddie's father is layed out in the casket in the sitting room?
Patsy says "what is it?" and Eddie says "Pats, it's my dead father" and Patsy replies "yes, but is it ART?"

Dang, I could really use an Ab Fab Marathon right now.

Daddy said he dreamed the other night that John came over and told him he didn't want to go back to Southpark-he was adamant, kicking and screaming. Of course, that could just as easily have been Daddy's own psyche telling him adamantly that he (Daddy) doesn't want to go to a nursing home. At the time (lunchtime) I was having trouble getting my food down and really wished we could all just talk about something pleasant. I had spent the morning on the phone and would spend part of the afternoon working through current events.

Am I that disrespectful that I just disregarded a dream message? I don't think that's it, I think I'm just human and tired, no more, no less. And, very unsure. This feels like really THE END, at least for Uncle John, and I want so much to do my part correctly, but I'm not sure what that part is. And how ego centric of me, MY part in HIS death???? How vain. But I don't mean for it to be, I just want to do the best job I can, even if I am not sure what that job is.

So, there it is, but is it ART?

ANOTHER One

Ok, I got an e-mail from someone in Canada who has a mint, I mean garage kept, condition 1972 Scotty. And I want it. But that is contrary to my less is more stance.

Somehow I think that is the crux of my problem-wanting the mint condition vehicle right off the bat rather than appreciating the old crusader. I know that's the case with me and dieting. Dieting is kind of weird if you stop and think about it-because it is never enough. Oprah in her size 10 jeans, that made such a splash a few years ago, would be a before picture by today's standards. (Happy Birthday Oprah)

I am going to mangle a line from AB Fab-Edina (discussing skinny celebs) "there must be a time, about two weeks after death, when they finally achieve the figure they desire. Nothing but bones and bumps."

I've been reading/watching the YOU series and I am hooked, hook line and sinker. One, I like measuring my waist, noting that it is smaller but not really knowing how to line that progress up on a chart. So, my brain grabs the one thing it can comprehend, the waist is smaller, and it goes happily about its day. Two, I really like the autospies where they show you a healthy dead heart vs. a sick dead heart. Awesome stuff. www.realage.com Dr. Oz rocks.

So, I am grappling with the progress towards the new, healthier body type concept, but like the trailer, I really want the new shiny one that's all there, right NOW. And the truth is, if I could just go right out and BUY a new healthy body, I would, so why not get the new/old shiny trailer?

Well, err, I think it's because I am also supposed to be learning to love and nurture the old beat up body and the old beat up trailer. Hmmm, did the DEVIL send the trailer to tempt me, or was it a lesson from GOD? And what is the difference? That's a lot of heavy stuff from one e-mail from a stranger.

Where did I GET all that stuff?

I am getting rid of some of my extra "stuff". Some of it, well most of it, is quite nice, it just doesn't work any more. I started posting on Freecycle, and some of the responses are unbelievable.

Call me about your free couch..xxx-2222-2222

NO buddy, you tell ME why you want the couch. What ever happened to courtesy? Fortunately, someone who is well spoken always comes along and that's who gets the item. Fair? Well, what's fair. Someone who can take a few minutes to type a nice note explaining (not begging) in a nice manner why they want whatever it is, that's a person I can give something to.

Honestly, I change furniture more frequently than some people change coats. I love that skit from Ab Fab where Edina is trying to decorate and she flips through the magazine and says "I want ALL of these things-I want to BE all these people....."

I, like many people. tend to define myself with my things.....but quite often they reflect who I wish I was (expensive mountainbike) not who I am (current bike, Trek Soul Rider-a cruiser).

I can't tell you how many sets of dishes I have had-some quite nice. Right now I have a set of melmac dishes from Target, not because that's all I can afford, it's just what I wanted at the moment. I think my mother still has her set of Corelle she got when I was a little girl-wow, it's antique now!

My generation didn't have to struggle so hard to aquire things, but we have no idea what to do with them once we get them.