The woman has been under the weather for the past few days and we are out of CRAPS. She said she'll go to the store this afternoon-she'd better. Life must go on, and I must have my craps. You humans call it priorities.
HAW!!!!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
HAW-I got a Present!
Lolo sent me, me me, Mister BIRD, a present-a shiny ATC! All for me me me. What's funny, is I sent HER a present before I knew she sent me one. They must have crossed in the mail. Great minds think alike-so clearly Lolo has a great mind or maybe she is just thoughtful and kind. I like like like thoughtful kind people-yes yes yes. Thank you Lolo-you made my day! The woman won't let me have it though-she says I will chew it up....she may be right.
I don't really MEAN to chew things up-it starts out with just a nibble. If you didn't have hands, you'd explore things with your mouths too-yes, me and the Great White Shark, that's how WE roll. Using your mouth is very very clever though-you can feel AND taste it at the same time. Trouble is, when it's in your mouth you can't see it. So, you move your head to look, and then zoom in for another nibble...then another, then another, and pretty soon (or after two bites in the case of the GWShark), the item is gone.
Humans duplicate this behavior when they eat-I have observed them go hand to mouth without really even LOOKING at what they eat. No wonder they eat so much. What good are opposable thumbs if you don't even take the time to look at what they are holding? It's like having wings without flight.
Maybe that is what you do when you do that thing you call Art. You are taking the time to savor what your hands are doing. Kind of like me and chewing paper.
Now I have to wonder about the GWShark and his big fat seal. But who am I, Mister Birdy Birdy Bird, to say he doesn't enjoy that process? I'm sure the seal didn't, but too bad for Mr. Big Fat Dead seal. I know for a fact that I enjoy my craps, my paper, my peanuts. Oh yes, I do do do. I'm not sure why humans believe they are the only animals who know how to enjoy, especially since many of you are so bad at it....HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAA HAW HAW!
I don't really MEAN to chew things up-it starts out with just a nibble. If you didn't have hands, you'd explore things with your mouths too-yes, me and the Great White Shark, that's how WE roll. Using your mouth is very very clever though-you can feel AND taste it at the same time. Trouble is, when it's in your mouth you can't see it. So, you move your head to look, and then zoom in for another nibble...then another, then another, and pretty soon (or after two bites in the case of the GWShark), the item is gone.
Humans duplicate this behavior when they eat-I have observed them go hand to mouth without really even LOOKING at what they eat. No wonder they eat so much. What good are opposable thumbs if you don't even take the time to look at what they are holding? It's like having wings without flight.
Maybe that is what you do when you do that thing you call Art. You are taking the time to savor what your hands are doing. Kind of like me and chewing paper.
Now I have to wonder about the GWShark and his big fat seal. But who am I, Mister Birdy Birdy Bird, to say he doesn't enjoy that process? I'm sure the seal didn't, but too bad for Mr. Big Fat Dead seal. I know for a fact that I enjoy my craps, my paper, my peanuts. Oh yes, I do do do. I'm not sure why humans believe they are the only animals who know how to enjoy, especially since many of you are so bad at it....HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAA HAW HAW!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
KMAT and Happy Cinco De Mayo.
Yes, Kiss My Ass Tuesday. This post may be long-I'm starting it on Sunday.
Stopped up kitchen sink AND DIRTY DISHES-KISS KISS KISS MY ASS. Dishes are like dogma AND dogshit-people think they have to have them, but they sure stink if you don't take care of them. Use disposables and you pollute the earth. My Mom is one of those people who can't cope with life if there is a dirty dish in the sink. I myself have been known to throw out everything and just start over. KISS MY ASS DIRTY DISHES and KISS MY ASS about to become dirty dishes-even clean ones are just waiting THEIR chance to be dirty.
People who say "You got another........_________fill in the blank". I'm not thinking of me, I'm thinking of someone else I know who posted pictures of her newest horse (she now has TWO, oh horrors) and sure enough, someone said "WHAT, you got another one?" KIss MY ASS on her behalf and behalf of myself and all the other (probably more of us than you) people who like animals, computers, cars or whatever. If you are truly concerned, then have the balls to say "I'm worried about your spending" or whatever it is you are worried about. If you just don't understand, shut up and KISS MY ASS. I'm sorry, what's that? Yes, you ARE entitled to an opinion-and you can even give it later on if you like, but NOT during the proud unveiling. What ever happened to just being happy because someone else is happy. Oh yes, YOU people, Kiss My Ass.
People who allow themselves to be dragged by a four pound dog-Please, please kiss my ass. How is this even possible? Clearly you have remedial reading and training to do prior to purchasing your little poochie-so, KISS MY ASS. (This is dedicated to the lady at Petsmart whose Cavalier King Charles PUPPY drug her across the room so she could bounce in my dog (who was in a down command)'s face. Now, we are supposed to welcome these distractions, but really lady, Kiss My Ass and buy a stuffed animal. It's people like that who give small dogs a bad name, so Kiss Prissy's Ass too.
Rain and Mud-Kiss My Ass. Enough already.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Cactus Monday Monday
My third and favorite one is MIA-the cat, startled by the kitchen sink overflowing-took off with it. I don't understand why. Hopefully by the time this posts, the cactus, the stupid sink and the effing hockey game that went overtime and ran over the only horse show this week will all seem funny.
This godawful weather and godawful plumbing is bringing me down, but getting together enough to post this for tomorrow (although it will be today when you read this) is a triumph. LET THERE BE CACTUS!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Mud and Bizarre Anniversary
This is the anniversary of the May 3 Tornado (we are so clever with our naming protocols here in Oklahoma), noted for being the highest wind speed ever recorded on earth. This big boy was notable not only for its size, but the time it stayed on the ground and the length and width of the destruction path.
Tornados are measured in part by the dollar amount of damage they do. I speculate that this came about prior to our ability to measure wind speed. So, a big tornado in a cornfield isn't rated as high as a medium tornado in a heavily populated area. This one was a big tornado in a heavily populated area.
I remember being awestruck as I drove in to town afterward, because entire neighborhoods were just gone. I almost ran off the highway I was so shocked at my first sight-my brain was trying to process exactly what all those slabs in the middle of nowhere were. Then it hit me, driveways for houses that were no longer there.
Having recently heard what it sounds like when trees are ripped apart slowly by ice, I can only imagine the rapid shredding of trees and homes-imagine and shiver.
On this May 3rd, 10 years later, I am literally knee deep in mud and having trouble maintaining a perky outlook about it-it's good for the garden, we need the rain are my mantras. Prissy hates it, Moon loves it, all the other dogs are pretty indifferent. Molly likes the puddles. Casper is grumpy in his pasture, but does enjoy the grass. I spend the morning shoveling wet dog shit and I'll spend part of tomorrow picking horse shit and mud out of hooves. But, we need the rain. It's good for the garden.
In the meantime, I'm making gluten free non-kosher matzo ball soup with fresh herbs and green onions from my garden, courtesy of the rain.
Tornados are measured in part by the dollar amount of damage they do. I speculate that this came about prior to our ability to measure wind speed. So, a big tornado in a cornfield isn't rated as high as a medium tornado in a heavily populated area. This one was a big tornado in a heavily populated area.
I remember being awestruck as I drove in to town afterward, because entire neighborhoods were just gone. I almost ran off the highway I was so shocked at my first sight-my brain was trying to process exactly what all those slabs in the middle of nowhere were. Then it hit me, driveways for houses that were no longer there.
Having recently heard what it sounds like when trees are ripped apart slowly by ice, I can only imagine the rapid shredding of trees and homes-imagine and shiver.
On this May 3rd, 10 years later, I am literally knee deep in mud and having trouble maintaining a perky outlook about it-it's good for the garden, we need the rain are my mantras. Prissy hates it, Moon loves it, all the other dogs are pretty indifferent. Molly likes the puddles. Casper is grumpy in his pasture, but does enjoy the grass. I spend the morning shoveling wet dog shit and I'll spend part of tomorrow picking horse shit and mud out of hooves. But, we need the rain. It's good for the garden.
In the meantime, I'm making gluten free non-kosher matzo ball soup with fresh herbs and green onions from my garden, courtesy of the rain.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Taking the Plunge
I did it. I've been thinking about it, looking for just the right time to do it. So, yesterday afternoon, I did it. I ordered a Kindle.
Now, it wasn't the price or the technology of the item that was holding me back. It was the idea that I couldn't ever have another book. And in truth, I will try to buy Kindle format first, but I have no illusions that I would ever give up book buying completely.
On a whim, I declared the Kindle a Mother's Day present and ordered it gift wrapped. I remember a few months ago when I wanted flowers and ordered them for someone who didn't appreciate them. So, this time, I ordered what I wanted for myself and had it wrapped....thus adding to the usage of paper and trash on the planet. Good lord, I cannot win.
I must be getting sick-I wanted something, selected something I have been considering, and bought it without angst. If the world is still on its axis tomorrow, don't blame me......
Now, it wasn't the price or the technology of the item that was holding me back. It was the idea that I couldn't ever have another book. And in truth, I will try to buy Kindle format first, but I have no illusions that I would ever give up book buying completely.
On a whim, I declared the Kindle a Mother's Day present and ordered it gift wrapped. I remember a few months ago when I wanted flowers and ordered them for someone who didn't appreciate them. So, this time, I ordered what I wanted for myself and had it wrapped....thus adding to the usage of paper and trash on the planet. Good lord, I cannot win.
I must be getting sick-I wanted something, selected something I have been considering, and bought it without angst. If the world is still on its axis tomorrow, don't blame me......
Friday, May 1, 2009
Uno De Mayo
I wonder if it's a good reason to drink wine? Beer is the traditional Cinco De Mayo drink-of course, beer is pretty traditional here in Oklahoma.
Does anyone know what this flower is? It's growing out on Jim Wakeland's ranch-I told him I thought it was some kind of kolanchoe, but what do I know?
Moon had a bath today for his dog class debut. I've never had a dog that would lie down and doze while he has his bath-he does love the water and a good back rub. Of course, he also likes to roll in the mud, so I had to keep him confined after his scrubbing. This meant I locked him on the pergola and since he'd never been on it before, I stretched out for a snooze so he wouldn't feel lonely. I'm such a devoted dog owner.
As I dozed, something went THWACK in my ear-and guess who it was? Momma Spider (or someone who looked just like her). I think I must be the spider whisperer. I tell you, they seek me out.
Does anyone know what this flower is? It's growing out on Jim Wakeland's ranch-I told him I thought it was some kind of kolanchoe, but what do I know?
Moon had a bath today for his dog class debut. I've never had a dog that would lie down and doze while he has his bath-he does love the water and a good back rub. Of course, he also likes to roll in the mud, so I had to keep him confined after his scrubbing. This meant I locked him on the pergola and since he'd never been on it before, I stretched out for a snooze so he wouldn't feel lonely. I'm such a devoted dog owner.
As I dozed, something went THWACK in my ear-and guess who it was? Momma Spider (or someone who looked just like her). I think I must be the spider whisperer. I tell you, they seek me out.
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