HAW-I have returned!!! REJOICE

I cannot lie, oh I could, you know ME, ME, ME-but I won't.  My captivity/visit was interesting.  There was an inferior African Grey and the Great Grey Popeye.  And a white rabbit.

When the woman picked me up she let me out to flap my wings and fly around a bit and she took me over so I could finally go nose to nose with the GREAT WHITE RABBIT.  The woman is always blathering on about Great Whites.  The beast raised up on his haunches (KJ knows what haunches are) and we touched nose to beak.  Contact.  Oh, I loved it.  Yes yes yes.

I suggested that we bring the Great White home with us but the woman said No.  I don't like No.  She worked with me for a long time but I could not/would not go into the grey box, so they finally put a towel around me and I clucked like a chicken-but I didn't bite anyone.  I'm learning self control.

Then we went out and visited, and the Great Grey Popeye was brought over.  He visited with me and showed me some of what he can do.  He's 35 years old-a real elder.  He is from Ghana-I'm from the Congo, so I'm a bit bigger.  Everyone marveled at MY size and musculature.  Not many Greys get to fly.

I was not allowed to fly till I came here to live with the woman.  I didn't like it at first, but now I really enjoy it.  I'm the best flyer in this house, that's for sure.  The parakeets fly in their cage but they are not allowed to fly free.  Only MR. BIRD flies free!

The woman has  promised to build or buy a proper transport device so that I can return to visit with my new bird friends.  We are working on the harness (it's like Greta's only it's for me me ME) but she said it wouldn't do for the car.  Hmph.  What does she know?

I've been dancing a lot since I arrived home.  I was very happy to have my tunes, but the visit kindled in me the realization of my own BIRDINESS.

I want to be able to walk on the counter like the Great Grey Popeye.

I think visiting is great fun-but I don't think I'd like for them to come to MY HOME.  MINE MINE MINE.  BUT-I did like discovering/remembering that there were other creatures with similiar intellect to myself.  As long as they don't try to touch my shiny things.....MINE!

I'm speaking in new voices too-humans have a variety of voices and I like saying MY words with someone else's voice besides the woman's.  But I did enjoy her singing the ni-ni song.  Home is where they tuck you in and sing ni-ni I love you.

So Happy Animal Wednesday!  I hope someone tucks you in tonight.

HAW-I've been ABDUCTED and ABANDONED

I am not here...no no NO!  I'm not in MY CAGE, watching MY TODDLER TUNES.

I'm in a cage, in a room that is NOT my house.  The woman is not here and there are other smelly creatures-things called rabbits in this room.  I can hear other birds-those birds are FOR SALE.  I was for sale once.  Now I'm back, but I'm not for sale.  Does this mean I"m going to turn into a rabbit?

Sorry Emily-but I want to be MR. BIRD.  I want my house and my woman.  I will speak to Popeye about this-he's the store bird.  He's wise, over 30 years old.  Not nearly as pretty as I am, but we can't have everything I guess.

The food is good here-the woman left a pile of treats to make sure I was amused, but I really want to go home....HOME.

HELLO?  HELLO?  Is anybody out there?  HAW! HAW!  HELP!

HAW-Bath Time for ME ME ME

The woman had the shiny thing out again-but she also had a new squirt squirt bottle and I got my MIST!!!!!! Misting is very important to me-I love it, love it, love it. I'm happy while it's happening and for a long long time afterward. YEEEEEES!

You can tell I'm happy by the happy noises I make-although the woman is pretty noisy too.  I LIKE noise.  Quiet is very unnerving to me, unless I want to sleep, then I want it very very quiet.

The dogs don't like the squirt bottle-the prefer a tub bath to mist.  They don't seem to like it much when I dump MY tub on them....ha hah haaaaaaaaaaaa.  Me, I think it's funny as heck.

I hope someone you love gives you a good squirt today.

HAW How You ARE?

Helllllllo! The woman found this in the old files-an oldie but a goodie. It's how she saw me when I first came to live her, flamboyant and bright. I bet she wouldn't change a thing-I'm still still still the brightest thing EVER!

Yes, me me MEEEEE, Mister Birdy Bird! I call for my craps, I ask for APPLE APPLE AP-PUL and I get my way always. You'd be happy to if you were so wonderful as I am, me me me, Mister BIRD, BIRRRRRRRRRD. And you'd believe you were wonderful as I do if you'd only quit waiting for someone to tell you that you are and just declare it for yourself.

Happy Animal Wednesday-and what are you waiting for?

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A Shameful Confession

I have a bird "on the side" now. Oliver knew about Popeye-the resident African Grey at the bird feed store, but he didn't know about Cosmo, a Red Lored Amazon. I seriously adore that bird, in part because a friend of mine had one once, and I adored THAT bird too. And yesterday, I seriously thought about it.

But, I did not act. My house is small, and if the two didn't get along, it could be really awful. Amazons have a tendency to be a little screechy-and greys can mimic anything, and are notorious for being very possessive. Oliver is exceptional in that he gets along with the other animals, but I don't think he'd go for a similar sized bird who also talks and needs affection.

So, I will continue to see Cosmo when I make bird feed runs. We'll laugh and talk and flirt a bit. But then I'll come home to Oliver, happily and no regrets. Cosmo is the kind of bird that talks to ANYBODY-he's very outgoing. Oliver chose ME-and that makes him special.

HAW-The House Is MINE today

That woman left really early today to have surgery-said she'd be back tomorrow and I could listen to Toddler Tunes the entire time ------WHEEEEE I'm the Big BOSS BIRD. The Big Boss Bird with some pignolias and peanuts and (bleh) some regular bird food.

Last week she hurt my feelings. I was working on some words and I don't like to be talked to when I'm doing that. She thought I said "Want some fish?" and laughed out loud and asked what that was about. When I got sad, she realized I had been trying to say "Want a peach?" and I know she felt bad, but I felt bad too. YOU try talking with a beak and see how easy it is.

I got extra toddler tune time for that.

I hope this hospital thing does what it needs to do-she's been a boring ball of blah lately. I even miss the slimdogs. Not the sharpest beings, but at least they move around an amuse me and make noise. SHE doesn't-she just pukes and whines and wobbles around.

I keep her confused by calling the parakeets "Fred". When they get rowdy I say "HEY FRED, QUIET". I pretty much keep everyone confused by calling the parakeets Fred. That's why I do it.

Sometimes they try to challenge me to a noise duel. I let them play for a bit, making bird noises. But not for long, not me me me. I puke, fart, belch and sing and flap my wingy wingy wings! AAAAAAAAAH! Yes, that's what I do do do! Hah hah HAW HAW HAW!

I win win win again! Happy Animal Wednesday!

PS-When the woman gets back she says we are going to have to drink a lot of crap juice-so finally things are looking my way! HAW.

Alone ALONE-HAW

I'm no dummy-when all the furries go away, it's always followed shortly by the departure of the woman. It's been a long time since she's left though. She used to go a lot, now she doesn't.

Some people in her life are "concerned" by this, but not ME, not Mr. Bird. She has keys and cash-she'll come and go as she pleases, she always has, and she always will. I always get new toys when she goes, so it's definitely not ALL bad. Heh heh heh.

I have my CD;s and by tubs and tubs of food and hidden treats. The parakeets need my attention. She won't leave me loose though-that pisses me off. If she isn't here, then I SHOULD be able to play in the kitchen sink, and rearrange the cabinets to my liking-don't you think?

But, I don't like not knowing when she'll be back, and when I'll get my next egg or crap. I think she took the egg lady with her, so there may be an interruption in my egg supply. NO NO NO.

We've discussed an even bigger cage, she and I. Yes yes yes I said. But she said no no no and something about private space vs. communal space, and some nonsense about how some birds don't get the run of the house most days. I wonder if this is true? Are there birds that don't get to do what they want all day long?

I think I remember a time like that too. Yes, I do. And I didn't like it.

Would you choose freedom or a bigger cage? That's a heavy question for HAW!!!

HAW-I got a Present!

Lolo sent me, me me, Mister BIRD, a present-a shiny ATC! All for me me me. What's funny, is I sent HER a present before I knew she sent me one. They must have crossed in the mail. Great minds think alike-so clearly Lolo has a great mind or maybe she is just thoughtful and kind. I like like like thoughtful kind people-yes yes yes. Thank you Lolo-you made my day! The woman won't let me have it though-she says I will chew it up....she may be right.

I don't really MEAN to chew things up-it starts out with just a nibble. If you didn't have hands, you'd explore things with your mouths too-yes, me and the Great White Shark, that's how WE roll. Using your mouth is very very clever though-you can feel AND taste it at the same time. Trouble is, when it's in your mouth you can't see it. So, you move your head to look, and then zoom in for another nibble...then another, then another, and pretty soon (or after two bites in the case of the GWShark), the item is gone.

Humans duplicate this behavior when they eat-I have observed them go hand to mouth without really even LOOKING at what they eat. No wonder they eat so much. What good are opposable thumbs if you don't even take the time to look at what they are holding? It's like having wings without flight.

Maybe that is what you do when you do that thing you call Art. You are taking the time to savor what your hands are doing. Kind of like me and chewing paper.

Now I have to wonder about the GWShark and his big fat seal. But who am I, Mister Birdy Birdy Bird, to say he doesn't enjoy that process? I'm sure the seal didn't, but too bad for Mr. Big Fat Dead seal. I know for a fact that I enjoy my craps, my paper, my peanuts. Oh yes, I do do do. I'm not sure why humans believe they are the only animals who know how to enjoy, especially since many of you are so bad at it....HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAA HAW HAW!