I took Uncle John his quaker oats bars (2 kinds) and a magnifying glass and was reminded of something very important. Very few acts I do/have done have brought such a twinkle to someone's eyes. Truly, I would rather do that for the rest of my life than work for "the man" in corporate america.
And that's really all I'm lookin for-a job that gives back instead of adds to the taking.
Plus I really would still like a horse.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Urban Chicken Follow UP
From Craigs list:
4-partridge wyandotte bantams....2 hens and 2 roosters....all birds are unrelated and just over a year old.....the hens are laying well...nice wyandottes.....the chicken pen is 4'wide 4'tall 6'long......asking $100 which doesn't even cover building the pen...:)......shoot me an email with any questions...thanks....
___________________________________________________________________________
Along with pictures of a nice homemade pen. Maybe I am not the only person to abandon the urban chicken movement-at least I was able to return the books to amazon.com.
Still trying to figure out how to get rid of couches, etc. without publishing address or paying to ship it all to GW. I think the curb is the answer-hope it doesn't rain and let the trash picker gods smile upon those who search.
4-partridge wyandotte bantams....2 hens and 2 roosters....all birds are unrelated and just over a year old.....the hens are laying well...nice wyandottes.....the chicken pen is 4'wide 4'tall 6'long......asking $100 which doesn't even cover building the pen...:)......shoot me an email with any questions...thanks....
___________________________________________________________________________
Along with pictures of a nice homemade pen. Maybe I am not the only person to abandon the urban chicken movement-at least I was able to return the books to amazon.com.
Still trying to figure out how to get rid of couches, etc. without publishing address or paying to ship it all to GW. I think the curb is the answer-hope it doesn't rain and let the trash picker gods smile upon those who search.
A letter to cousins and bro
John's a little freaky about moving and I don't blame him, but I just have to push through and get us moved. This is the icky part that I absolutely despise, having to stand up, be calm and proceed for both of us. I think I've got everything paced and spaced so I can accomplish what I need to accomplish without ripping my leg a new one or completing having a breakdown, but there is always that unknown and room for error thing.
The good news for me (and Sue and Jay who are moving to Florida) is that I know it's normal and natural at this stage to think OMIGOD what have I done, I'm changing everything and it's too late to go back.......
John thinks he'll be OK if I bring him up some proper quaker oat nutritrion bars with approved fat content so that he won't get heart disease while I'm gone for two days. They have to be the little square ones.
It's touch and go about what to tell him what not to tell him. He was very concerned that he would sign the new credit card (old one expired) in the wrong place and then got really concerned when I tore up the old one....we had to go out immediately to verify that the new one would work. So, anything that involves signing things is not a good thing.
I really do feel good (as does everyone else) about where he's going-but I know that increased family contact is kind of a stressor for him too. Yet, when the actual event happens, he likes it. I took him with me to change the oil in my truck and one of my co-worker was there and he really enjoyed visiting with her-but he wouldn't have gone if he'd know she was going to be there......agggggh.
Mom and Dad seem to just be ready for me to be there and are not pushing the coming back and helping me pack thing.....thank God. There is a time to sort, and a time to throw things away-and Sue tells me I will not go to hell if just put it on the curb because some trash picker will have a really nice day....it's like donating to the Goodwill, only doing it directly.
This past year has been nothing but moving and sorting through stuff. I am so sick sick sick of stuff I cannot tell you. Furniture, THINGS, what stays, what goes-who cares? And then you have to (when moving) make sure all your stuff is INSURED in both places, even the stuff you no longer want, cause if a trash picture cuts his finger you could be sued.
Another lessoned learned-don't tell insurance companies you have pet snakes. It just isn't worth the hassle.
Dolly (Mom's dog) isn't eating-so I don't think she'll be with us much longer. Mom asked me what I thought and I said "well, I think she's old and she's dying and we just have to let her" and she agreed. If she needs help then I'll take her in to the vet for them-I am hoping for a die in her sleep kind of thing, but we'll see. That raises the well known I can't get another dog cause I'll outlive it issue but for now living next door Mom will have Dottie and Prissy to spoil and that will ease things.
Mom actually picked Prissy out as a back up for me when Dottie goes (we all know that won't be a good thing when that happens) so we have about 8 years of risk free dog life before any of us has to worry.......
Sorry about the long ramble a lot is going on and I have the feeling that some of the things that look important aren't and some of the thing that don't look important are.....and it's hard trying to figure it all out.
The good news for me (and Sue and Jay who are moving to Florida) is that I know it's normal and natural at this stage to think OMIGOD what have I done, I'm changing everything and it's too late to go back.......
John thinks he'll be OK if I bring him up some proper quaker oat nutritrion bars with approved fat content so that he won't get heart disease while I'm gone for two days. They have to be the little square ones.
It's touch and go about what to tell him what not to tell him. He was very concerned that he would sign the new credit card (old one expired) in the wrong place and then got really concerned when I tore up the old one....we had to go out immediately to verify that the new one would work. So, anything that involves signing things is not a good thing.
I really do feel good (as does everyone else) about where he's going-but I know that increased family contact is kind of a stressor for him too. Yet, when the actual event happens, he likes it. I took him with me to change the oil in my truck and one of my co-worker was there and he really enjoyed visiting with her-but he wouldn't have gone if he'd know she was going to be there......agggggh.
Mom and Dad seem to just be ready for me to be there and are not pushing the coming back and helping me pack thing.....thank God. There is a time to sort, and a time to throw things away-and Sue tells me I will not go to hell if just put it on the curb because some trash picker will have a really nice day....it's like donating to the Goodwill, only doing it directly.
This past year has been nothing but moving and sorting through stuff. I am so sick sick sick of stuff I cannot tell you. Furniture, THINGS, what stays, what goes-who cares? And then you have to (when moving) make sure all your stuff is INSURED in both places, even the stuff you no longer want, cause if a trash picture cuts his finger you could be sued.
Another lessoned learned-don't tell insurance companies you have pet snakes. It just isn't worth the hassle.
Dolly (Mom's dog) isn't eating-so I don't think she'll be with us much longer. Mom asked me what I thought and I said "well, I think she's old and she's dying and we just have to let her" and she agreed. If she needs help then I'll take her in to the vet for them-I am hoping for a die in her sleep kind of thing, but we'll see. That raises the well known I can't get another dog cause I'll outlive it issue but for now living next door Mom will have Dottie and Prissy to spoil and that will ease things.
Mom actually picked Prissy out as a back up for me when Dottie goes (we all know that won't be a good thing when that happens) so we have about 8 years of risk free dog life before any of us has to worry.......
Sorry about the long ramble a lot is going on and I have the feeling that some of the things that look important aren't and some of the thing that don't look important are.....and it's hard trying to figure it all out.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Do I Ever WORK?
So I was talking to Daddy on the phone, following up to see if Mom was Ok-she'd be gone quite a long time for a Dr. Appt. and I told him she could call me at home and he asked "DO YOU EVER WORK?"
Well, that kind of hit me wrong-yes I work (for 3 more days) and I'm not sure what I'm going to do after that but I know I can't keep juggling a "real" job and worrying about checking on 3 old people-NOR can I let them go unworried and unchecked.
Sue warned me-she did. She left corp america to take care of her two kids and it's a little bit like dropping off the face of the earth. No paycheck equals no value added-not not really-Sue's husband Jay is certainly not like that.
The real chiller is "will I EVER work again". That's the one that frosts the bones-would anyone ever willingly hire me again? Am I a washed up old has been or never was or what? It's true, midlife crisis isn't all sports cars and boats.
And I KNOW part of my uncertainty stems from my leg and my limp, but there it is, for all the world to see.
And, while we are being real, Daddy wasn't just being insensitive, he's 81 and had a couple of strokes. That's how he IS now. As I allow myself to notice these things, I am able to detect with both my parents and my Uncle that angry, frustrated "why is this happening to me" thing that they don't say but I know they are feeling.
Now, this blog is about MY midlife crisis, but part of the MLC is aging parents, and I would not be fair or honest if I didn't look at them with open eyes as well. Someone should-they deserve that much.
Hmm, and that reminds me of who I really am-I'm the one who doesn't look away.
Well, that kind of hit me wrong-yes I work (for 3 more days) and I'm not sure what I'm going to do after that but I know I can't keep juggling a "real" job and worrying about checking on 3 old people-NOR can I let them go unworried and unchecked.
Sue warned me-she did. She left corp america to take care of her two kids and it's a little bit like dropping off the face of the earth. No paycheck equals no value added-not not really-Sue's husband Jay is certainly not like that.
The real chiller is "will I EVER work again". That's the one that frosts the bones-would anyone ever willingly hire me again? Am I a washed up old has been or never was or what? It's true, midlife crisis isn't all sports cars and boats.
And I KNOW part of my uncertainty stems from my leg and my limp, but there it is, for all the world to see.
And, while we are being real, Daddy wasn't just being insensitive, he's 81 and had a couple of strokes. That's how he IS now. As I allow myself to notice these things, I am able to detect with both my parents and my Uncle that angry, frustrated "why is this happening to me" thing that they don't say but I know they are feeling.
Now, this blog is about MY midlife crisis, but part of the MLC is aging parents, and I would not be fair or honest if I didn't look at them with open eyes as well. Someone should-they deserve that much.
Hmm, and that reminds me of who I really am-I'm the one who doesn't look away.
Wow
I've gone from complte panic to pretty much catonia in the past few days. What am I doing? I quit my job. I have no new job. I'm moving. All this takes time and cannot be resolved in a matter of days. If all goes well, I will be moved by the end of the month and can look for a job.
It all made sense when I was planning it. It still makes sense. But what if I'm wrong. OH LORD, the boogy man is with us all the time isn't he?
My cousin Phil had a small stroke and my brother's mother in law was in a coma last week. OH LORD, what if that happened to my parents and I was here?
Yes, I've got to get us back to Oklahoma, and I am and I will. But I didn't think it was going to be this hard.
It all made sense when I was planning it. It still makes sense. But what if I'm wrong. OH LORD, the boogy man is with us all the time isn't he?
My cousin Phil had a small stroke and my brother's mother in law was in a coma last week. OH LORD, what if that happened to my parents and I was here?
Yes, I've got to get us back to Oklahoma, and I am and I will. But I didn't think it was going to be this hard.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
How the hell did I get on this roller coaster?
The flu coma lasted a couple of days and I new that despite feeling like hell it was the respite I needed. Now I am sitting in a shambles of a house (aquariums on the way out, wine on the way in), TV on the way out, Scotty in limbo, new house in limbo, job on the way out not a clue on the way inn, piles of paperwork left to go through for John, taxes to file and I'm thinking to myself how long can this go on?
The great wall of chihuahua has been put up to guarantee my own peace of mind (read poidogz blog for all that good dish). The two big uns are STILL at the kennel-I am here to tell you that flu knocked me OUT and I could barely cope with the two that made it home.
Ah, yes grasshopper (says the voice in my head) this is the part of change you really don't like much. The bank vault opens, huge wads of cash fly out the door and it seems the tide will never turn. Unlike a friendly Hurricane, where you can say "shit happens", this is self directed change where you are required to say quite often "what the hell have I done?" Usually the point where you begin saying this is right after the point of no return.
Oh crap, the dogs have breached the wall.
The great wall of chihuahua has been put up to guarantee my own peace of mind (read poidogz blog for all that good dish). The two big uns are STILL at the kennel-I am here to tell you that flu knocked me OUT and I could barely cope with the two that made it home.
Ah, yes grasshopper (says the voice in my head) this is the part of change you really don't like much. The bank vault opens, huge wads of cash fly out the door and it seems the tide will never turn. Unlike a friendly Hurricane, where you can say "shit happens", this is self directed change where you are required to say quite often "what the hell have I done?" Usually the point where you begin saying this is right after the point of no return.
Oh crap, the dogs have breached the wall.
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