Thursday 13

1. This is Oliver, sorry, Mister Bird and Fugly-a traveling chicken. Oliver wasn't amused with Fugly and Fugly is no more-at least the traveling Fugly because people on the list kept not sending him on. Several other Fugly's live in my garage, awaiting their fate at the jaws of the dogs and other creatures.



2. This is Sonny's "birth picture" when he was emerging from his shipping bag, last fall. Sonny is a strange creature, even for a snake.


3. This is a local church, once described to me as "the Darth Vader church-the one that looks like Madonna's bra...."


4. This is another shot of Fugly-in the grass, before he left for Kentucky, Disney World and other great adventures before disappearing, more or less forever.


5. I actually enjoy anchovies-on pizza, on crackers-yes, I do.

6. My pizza now has to be gluten free-after trial and error and some unexplained puking and fever and yes, a rash, I realize I have a gluten intolerance (and I always thought I was such a tolerant person).

7. It's not, at this time Thursday, but Monday night. I'm watching Prissy tear up the living room, Oliver, who has decided, inexplicably, to perch on his food canister which was sitting on Prissy's crate (and only about 3 foot off the ground low for him), this screen and an FX version of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. By the time you read this, it will BE Thursday and many things will have happened between now and then but I will still be marveling at the strangeness of time and sharing thoughts across it. While the internet may have killed distance, time died eons ago.

8. Prissy is no longer allowed out in the backyard with the other dogs. In addition to her recent skirmish, she's learned to tunnel under the fence. Much like a rat, if she can get her nose through, she can follow. Her last escape led her into a neighbor's yard where she was chased a Rhodesian Ridgeback mix. This is not a healthy pass time for a 3 pound dogs. Nor would it be a good thing for the other kids to learn.

9. I got a bareback pad (basically a leather pad with a cinch, no stirrups) and am going to attempt Natural Horsemanship-at least in the arena. Casper is 15.2 hands or 62 inches tall at the withers, which means his back is even with my forehead. With my current upper body strength, stirrup free mounting without a mounting block isn't a possibility. This is not particularly tall for a horse-but tall for a cowpony which is what I'm used to riding.

10. If I could time travel, I'd like to go visit the dinosaurs, see a living Tasmanian Tiger, a dodo, a megaladon, a mammoth, visit with Kahlil Gibran. (This assumes, ala Star Trek, that interference is not allowed.)

11. My musical influences include Alice Cooper, Johnny Cash and the Moody Blues.

12. I recently tossed out both recliners, but stacked two love seats one in front of the other-stadium seating and prop my feet up on the back of the front one. What can I say, I like it with my feet in the air! (Currently I'm slouched in the loveseat with my feet over the other, and my laptop piled in the middle of my lap. Prissy, finding nothing exciting, is now asleep next to me on a pile of important papers. Oliver is still chuckling on his food container.

13. I am thinking of getting another tattoo.

Oliver Update

AAAAAAAAH! Good good good! The woman left and when she came back I was in the living room watching TV. I was sitting on the couch so she put me on my perch, and found a wonderful new channel for me-Toddler Tunes.........YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

The woman's friend Jim Wakeland sent her this, and I've allowed it on MY day, because it is kind of gray, but with a shot of color, just like ME ME ME ME. Ok, the truth of the matter is, she wanted to put it on the blog, and I can't type. But STILL.

Can you believe Comcast nixed the Opera Channel? Jackasses! Yes, there I said it-big braying donkey jackasses. EEEE AWWWW EEEE AWWWWW EEEE AWWWWWW!.....Oh, that's fun. EEEEE AAWWWWW EEEE AWWWWWW EEEEE AWWWWWW. yes yes yes! Mr. Bird does a great jackass imitation.....eeeeee awwwwww EEEEEEEEEE AWWWWWWWWWWW Hah hah hah ha haaaaaaaaa! Hah! Well well well, Lordy, you can't be mad when you are braying like a donkey.

It's Tuesday Kiss My Ass

Yes, it's kiss my ass Tuesday. KMAT. If the word ass bothers you, skip this post. Might want to skip tomorrows too come to think of it, but on Thursday we will most likely be an ass free zone (with the exception of the blogger.....hah).

People/Things who can kiss my ass today include:

People who don't spend any time with their dogs-really, KISS my ass.

(the hysterical thing is when I sit down to write these, I immediately draw a blank on annoyances-might have some therapy value-using writer's block to feel better).

Writer's Block can KMA. Yes-kiss it. Bah, mental constipation. KISS MY ASS


The stupid alarm system that was in my house when I bought it and hasn't been hooked up in years but now wants to beep-KISS MY ASS. (I am considering reinstalling it, so I haven't ripped it out yet, but until I decide your fat quit beeping and oh yes KMA)

WEEDS growing in my rock garden-kiss it, kiss it real good. Soon you will be going the way of the dumbass monkey grass. Prepare to die, but before you do-KISS MY ASS.


A brief word about my ass, or rather the ass in the photo. I ordered it off Ebay to take to my cousin Phil for a joke, but the ass was broken in the move to Oklahoma. I didn't want to give him a broken old ass, but I've not thrown it away either. Little did I know it was waiting around to be the perfect mascot for KMAT. It's an antique, broken, chalkware ass but KMABCA just doesn't sound right-so KISS MY ASS.

Ah, and finally-people who don't reuse and recycle-KISS MY ASS TWICE (hah, that's KMAT Again....)oh, oh, I know...KMATT;, Kiss My Ass Two Times.

Lexicon refresher-KMAT Kiss my Ass Tuesday

KMAA-Kiss my Aching Ass (for those really tiresome annoyances)

KMATT-Kiss my Ass Two Times-for those doubly annoying annoyances.

Greyhounds and Others

I love brindle! This is Tip and TO (short for Time Out, not Terryl Owens). TO ran quite a few races before retiring, well over a hundred. Tip, well, Tip is more of a lover I think. They are wearing their donation dog coats (with pockets for donations) and they made a nice chunk of change (over 40 bucks) when we usually get 0.




That's me in the corner with TO-the shot was really of Blade the doberman puppy.  Last month Blade was about knee high, this month he's almost as tall as the greyhounds.  I haven't seen myself in months-at least in a photo.  It's always interesting (to me) to see photos, even though they sometimes horrify me.  I've been sitting with the hounds for a couple of hours at this point, so I look pretty laid back.  I'm wearing grey cargo pants, clearly a fashion no no-but great for hanging out at a Petco with dogs-lots of room for treats, clicker and a safe pocket for keys.


My first thought upon seeing this photo when I downloaded it from the camera was "I really DO look like a normal person".  Upon further reflection, due to the print of my shirt, I look like a person with no visible arms, but my head looks normal, don't you think?

Cactus Monday-Playing with WC IV

My new scanner thing is here, but it's not hooked up yet, so photo will do for this week. I spent some time trying to find a NOT multi use machine-because if one thing (in this case an ink door) goes missing on these things, nothing will work. I never print, I just wanted a scanner. But the good news is you can get a scanner printer for much less than the price of the first scanner I ever bought. Progress.

My first scanner was a sheet fed HP, my brother bought it for me for a Graduation Present from Grad school-it was probably the biggest (price wise) present I ever got in my life for something like that. I finally let it go after it had been out of service and replaced by a flatbed with higher resolution, but oh how I loved that scanner!

My brother still has (in some form) pieces of my original computer-probably just the case at this point. I think it had something like 10K of memory-yes, K, not G.

This has little to do with cactus, other than the picture, so I'll quite rambling and post.

Oh Horrors!

The Opera Channel has been dropped from our Cable line up. I don't know how to tell Oliver-in fact, I'm not going to-just going to get him a CD. He never watches the video part and it's just pictures and factoids anyway.

We had a good day at the Greyhound Rescue event-one adoption application, several donations. I love going and sitting with the dogs and visiting. The people who run this rescue are very laid back and low pressure, and always appreciative of everyone's efforts.

Last week I forgot why I banned squeaky toys from the house and gave the kiddos a squeaky skunk. It really hasn't been so bad, so today I bought some squeaky Kong tennis balls-Molly is mesmerized. I bring it in when I go inside, making it a high value toy. Not that Molly needs one-she'd sell her soul for a ginger bear.

Mom and Dad both have the flu, so I am watching them closely. It's a toss up who is crankier. Heaven help me.