Thar She Blows

The tarp job held up to the storms that blew through the past few days. I’m walking much better and am trying to come up with a way to climb up and work on my seams without risking life and limb. I wish I had one of those electrical workers buckets and a crane.

No longer at the end of my rope

So, I go ino the breakroom and there is leftover vegetarian pizza. I've been craving pizza. So I ate it. And life was good-and then I came home and my neigbhor had mowed the front yard for me. I almost cried-I really do love my neighborhood.

Wall eyed fit

Ok, I’m indulging in self pity and comparing my life to other people’s. It was kind of neat to rehab John’s wreck of a condo and then stage it all and sell it and have this nice outcome. I know it’s something he wanted to do because he had some of the “fix’er up stuff” stowed around the place. But that’s what I wanted to do with the house on Lucerne and it never happened for me. I drove by, on the off chance it was for sale, and it was pretty much as I left it, but my privet bush and my Wisteria tree looked great. I burst into tears.

Now, I have a good life, I know this. And I also know we don’t get all our dreams, believe me, I know that. But today, it really bothered me that I could do for someone else what I couldn’t do for myself. Now John definitely is better off in the money department, but the real issue with the house on Lucerne was I was overwhelmed and didn’t know where to begin. I think John pretty much had the same issue with his condo, and I did at first too. But I was able to overcome that, but not for myself.

And for some reason, looking for a place to live depresses the crap out of me because I can’t find exactly what I want for what I want to pay and then I feel all picked on.

Even the Scotty poses a problem-I could almost make it in a flat condo-but now I have the Scotty to park as well. Returning to my roots apparently comes with a price.

And what is this sudden urge to own a home of my own (other than the fact I get tired of having to hide the true dog population).

I’m feeling abandoned again-that is part of it. John is “leaving” and Sue is leaving for Florida and in the end they are all going to go and I am going to be left alone-the old nightmare from my youth.

How much of this is spring fever/angst, cabin fever from being hampered for several months and how much of it is good old midlife crisis? What would Jane Goodall do? What would Scotty do? What will Deb do?

Hitting the Wall

Bam, it happens-my body just says enough. So I slept in and now it's off to the office. Don't know what else to do.

In High Demand

Ok, HGTV aired the 2007 RV show and the little Scotty was on it. It still looked "new" though-why don't they ever make something just the same way it was before? As expected, demand for the old ones has shot up and I could double what I paid for mine just as it sits-no improvements. But, you can't sell off your mid-life crisis-those other 40 somethings are just going to have to do their own digging.

You only make a profit if you sell, and after losing my butt on a thousand "ideas" I finally turn a profit on the one thing I won't sell. The irony is, well, ironic. I'm ok with the fact that I'll never be a big business mogul, I don't have the wardrobe for it anyway.

One annoying thing-my walker leaves "tracks" in the carpet-it's easy to see where I've been and how straight a path (not very) I'm walking. Oh the horrors of public handicappedness. And yet, it's temporary, so I dare not complain too loudly. I did fetch my own coffee today (nerve wracking) and figured out how to stow the walker in the back seat so I can tote Uncle John to the doctor on Thursday. This will be our first solo adventure since my surgery. I'm a little nervous, he needs help, I need help, we'll just figure it all out.

Corporate Life

Is pretty much as I left it. I'm in a different cube and my phone doesn't work, but beyond that, all is status quo. I thought taking a break would allow me to look at things with new vision, but it all looks like the same ol pile oh pooh to me.

Greenland Paddle-I want one

Omigosh-the kayak has spawned a whole plethora of new "things" that must be had. This whole rebuilding a life around things I can reasonably do is tough and expensive. I've decided the snakes are the perfect old lady pet-you really don't have to have good walking skills to handle a snake.

But the Scotty table beckons-when my parents come next weekend I'm going to ask them to help me take it out of the scotty and put on my back porch so I can begin the renovation. I'm going with the decopage idea someone posted on the forum-it will be fun and something that I can do sitting at the dining table on the back porch.

I've also got the tools to dig out my hay bails, but I am going to go through a week back at the office before I risk my shoulders on a weekend project. With age, sometimes comes wisdom.