Monday Challenge 1

Instead of griping about it being Monday every Monday-I'm going to try this-the Monday Challenge.

I was contemplating the horse thing again the other night. Do I have this belief that I want a horse but can’t have one…..or do I really just not want a horse?

For instance, if I had all the money I lost on snakes this past year, I could have had a really nice horse. So, why did I buy snakes? It sort of just happened I bought one, and then another and then another. What cosmic influences made me feel it was OK to spend the money on snakes and not horses?

Believe it or not, there are some similarities. Both beasts require husbandry skills, and the bigger snakes, like horses, require some handling skills. Both require equipment and gadgets.

I have been able to afford a horse for years now, but I’ve just never made the time for one. Again, the money I’ve spent on rescuing dogs and cats over the past couple of years would have paid for a nice little gelding.

Honestly, I felt like a failure thinking of these things. But I challenge that idea as well. What is so wrong with NOT wanting a horse? It doesn’t mean I don’t like them a lot, that I won’t go ride every so often. It just means I have chosen not to have a horse. Now I know.

I would challenge you all to look at long held beliefs about yourself-starting with a fairly easy one like “I’ve always wanted a horse” and really look at them. You may, like I did, just surprise yourself.

If, like me, you find your belief was wrong, and you feel bad, I encourage you to push a little deeper. You may find out you’re not such a bad egg after all. And you may, just like I did, begin to look at some other long held beliefs with new eyes.

Arise Asparagus!

Mom made some outstanding steamed asparagus today. It was like eating a fresh bit of spring. It cheered us all up-food can do that sometimes.

I'm reading and thinking on "A New Earth", and working hard on a lot of random shit that is going on in my head. Progress is slow. For now, that seems to be the key. I always try to find the "answer" that is going to change everything-the big bang theory of my life. The reality appears to be closer to this: the "answer" doesn't exist, but is instead a series of small truths that add up to a better life.

Since giving up on sitting around waiting for the big bang and beginning to take small stabs at little truths, I'm less stuck than I've been in a long time. Now I must resist the impatient side of me that says "hurry up and get to the answer....." and instead look around at what is happening now.

Big bangs make great movies and theories and sex, but don't really apply well to day to day life.

Escape to the River

I picked up my bike today (remember the one I bought in December...well, I've been busy) AND I bought a spiffy new hitch rack that will carry either bike without a problem, a purple helmet and some new half gloves. And then, I did something I've never done before.

I drove straight from the parking lot, down to the river trail, and rode my bike before I even took it home. Tore the gloves off the cardboard, put the helmet on, and with no further fuss, rode. Because bikes aren't for sitting around in the garage, they are for riding, and today was perfect. High 60's, no wind.

The trail is lovely, wide, well kept, with no trees for boogers to hide behind. The dredged river is nice too. It has a ways to go before it rivals San Antonio as a tourist destination, but it's nice to see how far it's come. There is even a boat ramp on the river, not too far from the new Dell Campus.

It was a little lonely not to have a friend to chatter with, but it was also nice just to be alone and moving and in the sun.

I came home, backed into the driveway and unloaded the bike. Went down and said hi to Mom and Dad because they were out in the front yard gardening I didn't mention the new bike (both bikes are black, so they honestly may not notice) or the new bike rack. I did talk about riding on the river and how nice it was.

I think we are all learning the wisdom in "Don't ask, don't tell."

Invention of the PVC wine rack

I was trying to figure out an easy, lightweight wine rack for my cellar, one that wouldn't disentgrate in the damp. I decided there is a reason why people install sump pumps and pump them out rather than reseal them. So, the cellar will be what it is, a cellar, damp and cool and quiet. But I need the kitchen space, so it's also about to become a wine cellar.

I am going to get some PVC pipe, cut it to appropriate lengths and glue it (I love glue) all together and create my utilitiarian PVC wine rack.

The size and age of this cellar indicates that it probably was more of a bomb shelter originally than just a storm shelter. Later I think it became a work room for somebody. I will use it to escape the summer heat and yet still be "outside". I will also use it to escape tornados if need be.

I'm going to haul down some water (I have water all the time, but I keep drinking it) so I'm hauling down a few gallons of emergency water and a manual powered flashlight.

I'm also going to post a sign that says "The dogs live here, if you don't like them, go topside now...." because as a child some adult would always complain about my dog when they were in MY cellar and it scared me to think they'd convince my parents to make me put Ginger out. (They never did). Neighbors who arrive without their dogs will be sent back to retrieve them, because, if truth be told, I know and like the dogs better than some of the people.

Actually, I'll problably take down an ex pen and leave it set up for the dogs. I'm going to get comfy plastic adirondack chairs for Mom, Dad and I, but I'll also pile in a stack of other chairs so I don't feel bad about sitting in my comfortable chair while people stand.

I've often wondered where people go when their houses blow away? To shelters? To hotels? I guess I could sleep in the cellar or in the backyard till I could go get my trailer.

Clearly, I'm not current on all disaster prep, but if you have fresh water and light, the rest of the stuff is easier to figure out, and if push comes to shove, we can BBQ a neighbor's dog.

Conversations with Famous Dead People-Janis Joplin

I don't really expect Janis to talk back, but I am going to make this a semi regular feature. Why? Because famous people give us a common point of reference, and this is my blog and I want to.

The pain that eventually killed Janis (along with the drugs) was what made her soooooo damn good. I think maybe she was the so much the heavyset, kind of plain girl that she might not have heard her own beautiful voice. But would it have been beautiful without the pain? Janis, did you ever really hear yourself sing?

Janis on stage was mesmerizing. I believed it when she sang the blues. I still do, because I think it was truer than true. But I wonder, did she forget that the thousands of people who connected with her because of her music, also believed it, lived it, understood it? Janis, did you think you were the only one who was looking for love?

Today she'd have handlers, probably a plastic surgeon-then she was pretty much alone. But would it matter? Janis, would you have been alone anyway?

Janis, taking about her highschool reunion was probably more like most girls than she realized. That was on a talk show. A later interview, when she was back at home for the reunion, is painful to watch, because her pain is so out there. Janis, did you ever resolve those parental issues, or did you take them with you when you left?

I guess the question I'd most like answered is-Janis, would you trade the brilliance and the pain for....what? What didn't you get?

I think I'm going to plant a row of onions

I figured out that I need to stagger my onion planting or I'll have a lot of onions all at once. So, I'm going to plant a row today. Yesterday I put some bulbs in my planter out in front of the house-spraxis or axis or something I've never heard of, I just liked the way they looked.

I'm still not any closer to a clear vision of where I'm headed, but planting things in the dirt seems to relax me and give me faith in the future.

Storms

I'm watching the news about the storms east of here-and sorry to hear about the deaths. What's really kind of odd, is that I went into my cellar for the first time since I've been in this house just the other day.

I was out working in the yard, decided to go into the cellar and pump it out. I imagined the cellar to be a small underground closet; actually, it's an underground room. What I thought was the cellar was the entryway-the main room is off to the side. There are already plant drying racks on the walls and it is wired for electricity. At one time it had running water.

I love it! I'm going to put some chairs down there and will probably use it to "escape" when I need to. It's a quiet, dark little space where a person can think-or escape from severe storms.